


Burden

by LFW10



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-08
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2017-12-26 11:05:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 56,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/965214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LFW10/pseuds/LFW10
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sorry for how late this is but I'm going to try to update regularly now.</p><p> </p><p>Follow my tumblr: wannabeawolf.tumblr.com</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“So you’re telling me I have to hang out with this girl, pretend to be a college student again, and then I can have my life back?” I stand in a park; kids are running around happily with their parents, I look around seeing all of these happy people. They’re all naïve.

“Yes that’s exactly what I’m saying.” The man in the fancy suit and glasses replies.

“What’s the catch?”

“There is no catch that is your assignment so you can either accept it or we will find someone else who I’m sure can be more suitable.”

“Relax I’m just making sure I’m catching all the bases.”

“Well if that’s it then why don’t you go meet Hope and she can give you your file.”

“Let me ask you a question.” I look at him before he leaves, “Why is this guy so concerned about his daughter?”

“Does it really matter Alex?” He counters.

“I guess not but I would still like to know.”

“He is a big deal in New York, a lot of money, but his daughter has well been a handful so he wants to make sure she is safe.”

“That’s it? How hard can it be to babysit a snob from the city?”

“Well everything seems to be hard for you.” He digs at my past which makes me want to rip his face off.  I step forward challenging him knowing I can take him on without using much effort.

“Let’s get something straight here.” I say fixing his tie, “I am one of the best agents for our section then you will ever be. I’ve caught more criminals than the number of porn websites you have on your lap top at your pathetic little apartment.”

“The funny thing is agent Morgan, you aren’t a part of our section.” He runs his hand down my cheek so gently that people who were looking at us would think he was trying to be loving.

“I’ll be back soon don’t worry.” I grab his hand, squeezing it as hard as I can before kissing it. “Catch ya later Serv.”

“Welcome to the babysitting section Agent Morgan.”

*

I arrive at the small café where I’m supposed to meet agent Solo for my new assignment’s file. As I walk into the door, I see the dark haired agent waiting for my arrival. I haven’t seen her in several months after I was cut from the unit. My skin burns thinking about the injustice of my dismissal. When I got this offer to take this job in order to get back into the unity I didn’t hesitate despite how much I loathe these buttoned up, uptight, pricks.

“So nice to see you again Morgan.” Hope smiles but it’s anything but genuine.

“Right back at ya Solo.” I say sitting into the seat, stealing a piece of her muffin.

“You know I would think that you would learn by now to stop being such an arrogant asshole.”

“I can’t help it.” I shake my head sighing dramatically, “I’m just so good at it.”

“What would Abby say?”

“Don’t bring her up to me.” I stand up, slamming my fists on the table, getting several glares from customers. It hasn’t even been five minutes and she is already trying to piss me off. Typical Hope.

“Oh did I hit a nerve?” Hope replies back, a look in her eyes is more of a reprimand.

“Not at all.” I give her a tight smile. “Give me my file.” She hands the folder over for me to look over.

“Kelley O’Hara, 19 years old, forward for Stanford’s soccer team, honors, 3.9 gpa, and why am I watching this girl? She seems perfectly fine to me.”

“Her dad came to us so despite her file looking pristine you still have to watch her.”

“Why doesn’t this file have a picture?”

“I don’t know it is just what they gave me and a picture isn’t a big deal just find the girl, befriend her, and keep her out of trouble.”

“This is stupid.”

“Yeah well this is the unit you’re in.”

 “I don’t understand what the point of this is. How does babysitting a 19 year old college student going to help me get my position back?”

“Captain doesn’t trust your judgment so you’re back to square one. Just make sure this girl stays out of trouble, be her friend, and we will see how well you do.”

“This is bullshit I don’t want to hang out with college kids.”

“Alex you’re only 23 stop acting like your some worldly and wise person.” Hope scoffs at me but I ignore her, I’m use to her bitchy attitude by now.

“So how am I supposed to get to know her? She seems pretty busy.”

“Better start running, don’t want to be rusty for your first day of practice.” Hope winks at me.

“I get to play soccer again?” I ask hopeful. Soccer was always my biggest escape ever since I was young.

“Yeah but do not start any fights, don’t show off, and don’t get kicked off the team.”

“Duh.”

“I’ll be at the school with you, teaching one of Kelley’s courses which you happen to be in, so I’ll see you there.”

“You teaching? That’ll be rich. See ya around then Professor.” I stand up to leave but Hope calling my name brings my attention back to her.

“If you want back in our section then please do not fuck this up.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” I wink at her before walking out to catch my flight to California.

*

I’ve always loved the West Coast that’s mainly the reason why I went to Berkley for college. Sadly I only lasted there two years before getting kicked out of school for hitting a professor. The professor thought teaching anatomy meant showing us in real life where the female body parts were, and I believed in showing him how easily it was to break a nose. I guess our teaching methods weren’t seen eye to eye.

It was shortly after that, that I was recruited for the agency. I trained for almost a year before getting placed on my first mission and I loved it ever since. My life was my job and I definitely had an interesting life. Until a couple months ago I was a rising star in my section for the drug cartel unit, but a miscalculation on my part led to me getting discharged and placed in this bullshit section.

I’ll prove to them again how big of an asset I was and if babysitting some college partier helps me get there then so be it.

The cab drops me off at the campus and I follow the signs that show me to the registration where I sign in for housing and everything else.

“Hi I’m here to sign in.” I say to the girl sitting at the table.

“Can I get a name?”

“Alexandra Morgan.”

“So you’re the forward everyone has been anxious to meet.” She stands up extending her hand, “Lauren Cheney I play for the soccer team as well.”

“Nice to meet you.” I shake her hand. She has a firm grip which is something I like in a person, she has a nice smile and her curly brown hair accents her features perfectly.

“The whole team is here so let me put everything away and show you to your dorm.”

“Sounds good thanks.” I smile at her.

“So you’ll be rooming with Tobin Heath.” She says looking at the sheet she has in her hands. “She is one of the midfields on the team, she’s super chill and easy going so you won’t have an issue.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” Anyone who stay out of my way and doesn’t pry will work just fine for me.

“So we have practice at 5pm tonight with the team to gage where everyone is at but until then you have free time to yourself. We start actual training tomorrow.”

“Alright I’ll be there.”

“Alright well here is your key and your room is right here so I’ll leave you to it. Welcome to Stanford Alexandra.” Lauren smiles at me turning to leave.

“Call me Alex.”

“See you at five Alex.”

I unlock the door and open my room to find a fairly large dorm room. One side of the room was covered with Arsenal posters, various surfing stuff, and then some religious quotes.

My roommate was sitting on her bed engulfed in a magazine with her headphones in. I waved my hand trying to gain her attention but it didn’t seem to work until I throw my stuff on the bed.

“Hey.” She yells loudly not realizing it because her headphones are in. “Oh sorry dude I forgot these were on.”

“Uh no worries.” I say eyeing her. Tobin was lean and tan, with a wide smile that lit up her entire face, she looked like a surfer straight from a magazine. She was beautiful, there was something about her that sparked my interest.

“So you must be Alexandra?”

“Alex.”

“It’s nice to meet you Alex my names Tobin.” She stands up extending her fist at me to pound it, “I guess you’re stuck with me.”

“I guess so.” I smile at the girl as I pound her fist with my own.

 “Do you want some help unpacking?” She asks as she looks at the dolly with all of my stuff on it.

“Yeah that would be great.” I say handing her a thin rectangular box, “These are my posters and stuff if you want to hang them or something.”

“Sounds good.” She smiles easily grabbing the box and getting to work.

It doesn’t take me long to organize all of my clothes, soccer gear, and other various belongings. I pre-organized everything into boxes before I flew out here so it was easy putting everything away.

“Sick posters dude.” Tobin notices after she’s hung the last one. “Our room is pretty chill.”

“Yeah thanks to my stuff.” I joke with Tobin. Tobin playfully glares at me before sitting back down on her bed.

“Wanna grab something to eat before practice tonight?” Tobin looks at me with that easy grin.

“Sure.” I say sitting on my bed opening up the book I started on the plane.

“If you want after practice I’ll show you around the campus.”

“That would be awesome.” I smile at her. I can already tell living with Tobin will be easy with her personality being so calm. I hate people who are hyper or all over the place, who always have to be talking or loud so I got lucky enough to get placed with her.

*

“Alright ladies we’re going to have a light scrimmage so I can see where you guys are at.” The coach announced to us as the assistant coach handed out pinnies.

We went straight into the scrimmage and I couldn’t remember the last time I felt this free. Soccer was always my escape since I was little but I haven’t played since I was kicked off the team in college. I was in very good shape because my job demanded it and I thanked some sort of higher power for it as my lungs burned as I raced down the field.

Stanford’s team was good but I was better and I knew I was. When the scrimmage was almost over I had already put in three goals working alongside Lauren and Tobin who were actually pretty amazing. Lauren was a creator the short amount of time we played showed me how deadly she can be on the field. Then there is Tobin, her foot work is incredible, she sees the field differently than most of the players on this team. Playing along with these two this season is going to be easy.

Even though our team won the scrimmage I have to give credit to the other team. The two forwards on the other team who I didn’t catch their names were in perfect sink. They had each put away one goal, they were fast, and were going to be intimidating forwards for this team.

I look around not being able to remember anyone’s names, there were too many of us and the coach didn’t give us introductions she just threw us straight into a scrimmage. I should’ve seen Kelley here but I don’t know what she looks like and couldn’t catch any names so I guess I’ll figure it out some other time. It’s just a babysitting job so I’m not too worried.

“Nice job Alex.” Tobin runs up to me handing me a water bottle. “You were amazing.”

“Thanks Tobin you have incredible skills on the ball.” I smile at her trying to catch my breath. “Your crosses were spot on.”

“What can I say.” She pulls at the shoulders of her pinny pretending to be cocky.

“Easy there.” I laugh easily with her.

“Great scrimmage guys.” Lauren says high fiving both of us.

“You know it Chen.” Tobin smiles at her.

“That was a great scrimmage tonight ladies.” Coach Rampone says gathering us around, “I can already tell we’re going to have a great season. Practice tomorrow starts at 8am and then again at 4pm so get some rest tonight.”

“Let’s shower then I can show you around and maybe grab some food.” Tobin turns her attention to me as we make our way to the locker rooms. “We can meet up with some of the team later.”

“Sounds good.” I can’t help but smile, my endorphins are on overload and I think that maybe this arrangement won’t be bad after all.

*

Tobin spends the next couple of hours showing me around the campus, telling me where my classes are, and telling me everything there is to know about Stanford.

“So tell me about the girls on our team?” I ask wanting to get a start on my assignment and hoping Tobin can be of service to me.

“Well you’re about to meet some right now.” Tobin smile before leading me inside a small diner. “This is where we all come to hang out to grab a cheap but delicious dinner sometimes.”

Tobin spots some girls sitting at a table and leads me over to them.

“What’s up dudes this is Alex she’s on our soccer team this year.”

“Alex this is Sydney, Kristie, Amy, and you know Lauren.” Tobin introduces them all. “Sit down.”

I sit on the inside of Tobin but as soon as I do I’m bombarded with questions.

“So where are you from?”

“I hear you were all state at your old high school?”

“You look old to only be 19.”

“Where did you get that shirt?” The darker skin girl asked me I think her name is Sydney.

“I got it from H&M, I’m from New York City, yeah I was all state in high school, and thanks?”

“Guys let her breathe.” Lauren gives the girls a glare to ease up with the questions. “Don’t mind them they haven’t fully developed yet.”

“Yeah that’s what I use to tell my old boyfriends.” I grab my boobs as a joke not being able to catch myself as everyone erupts in laughter.

“I hear ya.” Tobin adds.

“You had an amazing scrimmage today.” The long blonde hair girl, Kristie I think, compliments me.

“Thanks I’m excited to play.”

“So what is it like living in New York City?” Another girl asks me.

“Well the pigeons are nicer then the people that’s for sure.” They all laugh listening closer, “It’s crowded.”

“What’s the worst thing there?”

“Probably the weather in the winter.” I shrug not really knowing what it is about New York City that is the worst.

“What is the best thing about it?”

“There is a lot to do there so it doesn’t get boring.”

“How are the people?”

“All of them are unique I guess you could say.”

“What is the grossest thing you’ve seen there.” The darker skinned girl asks which I think is a weird question but think about it anyways. I laugh inwardly knowing I can’t really say all of the things I’ve seen in the city so I settle for something simple.

 “People will pick up used cigarettes if someone throws it on the ground and they’ll smoke it if it’s still lit.”

“Ew seriously a used cigarette?” Sydney makes a fake gagging face.

“Yeah it is cheaper than buying them but personally I just inhale the air if I want to poison my lungs.” I shrug causing everyone to laugh again.

“What’s so funny?” I hear an unfamiliar voice and turn to see a gorgeous girl standing next to our table. Her face is covered in freckles, a jawline that out beats any model, and prominent hazel eyes.

“Oh our new teammate Alex was just telling us about life in NYC.” Tobin smiles up at the girl who is eyeing me.

“You’re the girl who scored a hat trick today?” She asks me her voice has a seductive tone but it’s warm.

“Yeah that was me.”

“Glad to finally have some competition.” She smiles at me extending her hand. “Kelley O’Hara.”

“Alex Morgan.” So this is the girl I’m supposed to be babysitting.

“Welcome to our world.” She smiles brightly at me a mischievous look playing in her eyes and I know by that one look that this job is going to be harder than I thought.


	2. Chapter 2

“Yo dude if you aren’t too beat from soccer there is this party right now. The team is going to be there if you want to go together.” Tobin is staring at me wearing just a sports bra and shorts. I find myself scanning her body. Tobin has a really nice body from years of soccer and working out. Her follow the cut lines on her hips, and when I meet her eyes she looks nervous, uncomfortable almost.

“Yeah sounds good.” I give her one last overlook with a smirk that makes her squirm before returning to my book.

“Cool I think we’re pregaming at Kelley’s dorm first.” I haven’t really seen Kelley this first week except at practice but we don’t talk much accept if it has to do with soccer on the field. This would be a perfect opportunity to try to get to know her.

“Pregame? People still do that?” I shake my head at how stupid college students are. Just drink the alcohol and chill, pregame? Pointless.

“Yeah these parties charge for the drinks like we are at some club so we drink beforehand.”

I get up from my bed to look in my closet through my bags for the alcohol I brought. I brought it for myself because after a long day a glass of this stuff will make all your troubles go away. Now I’m using it to drink with minors, this is my life now, awesome.

“Here this stuff will do the trick.” I smile at Tobin who looks away from my gaze. If I didn’t know better I would think I make Tobin nervous, whenever I look at her this way she looks away shyly.  I pour two shots one for each of us and hand her one. “Cheers?”

“Totally.” She smiles before throwing the shot back. It only takes a moment before Tobin is coughing profusely. “Dude what is that it’s so strong.”

I can’t tell her it’s from a small town in Brazil where we busted a huge drug cartel who was exporting cocaine to smaller countries. I cant tell her about my mentor and all of the jobs we had to go on together, all of the dumb stuff I did, and how she was always there to help me clean up my messes. She told me it was a bad idea to take the locals alcohol, I puked for a couple days straight after drinking this stuff but I grew accustom to it over time. I’ll never forget the look on her face when I threw up on the new shoes she had gotten in Peru. She was pissed but she still took care of me. I was twenty, young, and stupid but she steered me in the right direction.

I shake my head and throw back a couple more shots wanting to clear my head.

“Dude you’re a badass.” Tobin laughs as she sips on her shot, her face is priceless as it contorts from the alcohol hitting her taste buds.

“Come on champ let’s get you some kid drinks.” I laugh at her throwing my arm around her shoulder and pulling her out of our room.

*

This frat house is considerably nicer than the ones I have been in before. All of the furniture is pushed back, the lights are off, with a dumb strobe light in the middle. Tobin, Christen, Amy and Lauren are all sitting on the couch with me taking a break from dancing. We’ve been drinking here for the past couple of hours because Kelley wasn’t in her dorm room when we got there. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t drunk but at this point I’m glad I am or this place would be excrutiatingly boring.

“Where is the rest of the team?” I yell at Tobin who is extremely drunk.

“They’re around here somewhere.” She smiles at me leaning her face extremely close to mine. Tobin’s lips are full and I wouldn’t mind wasting time kissing them, this party is lame and I’m sick of pretending to be having fun.

“I’m bored.” I lean closer to her.

“I think I can help with that.” She smiles at me her eyes growing darker, leaning closer to me. Tobin is a lot more fearless when she is drunk because I know she wouldn’t be doing this if she was sober. I make Tobin nervous like I do most people, we are trained specifically in how to seduce people in case we needed to for our missions. I always excelled at that aspect of the job.

I want Tobin to kiss me and I lean closer, licking my lips wanting her to make a move. She leans closer but then all of a sudden she isn’t leaning anymore because a girl has jumped into Tobin’s lap, straddling her and now making out with her. Tobin’s hands graze her butt and I can’t help my mouth drop, shy acting Tobin grabbing some girl’s ass in the middle of a party, making out. Who would’ve thought.

When the girl pulls away I’m even more shocked to realize its Kelley. Kelley fucking O’Hara, how ironic.

“I’ve been looking for you.” Kelley says in between kisses. I think I’m the only one who can hear her because were sitting ungodly close, I’m squished in the middle of the couch, and can’t move.

“Oh yeah?” Tobin’s voice has gone into this seductive tone that surprises me once again, “I’m glad you found me then.” They would be dating.

“Dance with me.” Kelley’s eyes are dark and if I were Tobin that’s when I would’ve looked scared. Tobin looks happy to oblige as she gets pulled up from her seat, “Hey Alex.” Kelley turns to me with the same look but I just stare back at her with my head tilted to the side like if I look at a different angle I’ll be able to solve the mystery behind her.

“Hey Kelley.” I smile warmly at her making sure she knows that look doesn’t work on me.

Tobin and Kelley start making out as soon as they start dancing. Tobin wrapping her arms around Kelley’s waist as Kelley grabs onto Tobin’s neck. They both move to the music, hands roaming in places that are meant for a private setting.

“They’re always like that.” Christen leans into me catching me staring at them, “You’ll get used to it.” It’s not a bad thing that Tobin and Kelley are together because if Tobin is my roommate then I will be around Kelley but I need to be Kelley’s friend not just Tobin’s.

“It doesn’t bother me I just didn’t expect it.” I look over again to see Kelley looking over Tobin’s shoulder at me. Those eyes staring into mine like she’s challenging me or like I’m being judged for something. We can play this game.

“Hey Christen.” I turn to Christen, my gaze locking with hers as my hand rests on her thigh, I see her visibly swallow, her composure shaky under my gaze, “Wanna dance?”

What better way to get close to Kelley then rooming with her girlfriend and getting to know Kelley’s roommate and best friend, Christen. Plus it is fun seeing Christen shift uncomfortably when I stare at her.

“Uh s-sure.” I grab her hand pulling her up turning around holding her hand over my shoulder to guide her to the dance floor.

“Relax.” I whisper into her ear as we start moving to the music. Christen is stiff for a second before relaxing into the rhythm of the upbeat music blaring through the room. She even takes control when she turns around, pushing herself into the front of my jeans. My hands go to her waist, squeezing lightly, as we lose control to the music.

We switch roles after a couple of songs, somehow both finding drinks in our hands, I press into her but her hands start to find the front of my jeans. I can’t remember the last time I was touched this way and I allow it for tonight. I allow this juvenile act because Christen is nice, drunk and touchy, but nice and Kelley hasn’t taken her eyes off of us almost the entire time, always having a playful smirk on her face.

I see her eyes wonder down to where Christens hand is on the front of my jeans, she smiles playfully as her eyes return to mine. I hold her gaze as we both move to the upbeat tempo, feeling Christen against me, and staring into Kelley’s eyes begins to start being too much. I turn my head pulling Christens face to mine and kissing her. Christen wouldn’t usually be my type but right now I want the contact of someone’s lips crashing into mine. I turn around wrapping my hands around her neck, kissing her hard, we stopped dancing, and were just kissing in the middle of the dance floor.

“Why don’t you guys get a room?” Kelley leans into us smiling mischievously, her voice dark with her own desire.

“Shut up Kelley.” Christen says nervously but Kelley’s eyes weren’t directed at Christen they we’re directed at me.

“Yours or mine?” I ask Christen not leaving Kelley’s gaze, challenging her back.

“Uh wait what?” The terrified tone in Christens voice made Kelley and I both laugh. I kiss her gently letting my drunken thoughts take control over my practical ones.

“Come on.” I grab her hand, leading her out before turning one last time to look back at Kelley. Tobin is still behind her kissing her neck but Kelley’s eyes are still on me.

Who is this girl?

*

I’m going to kill whoever is yelling outside at this time. I think to myself as the throbbing in my head becomes worse the more awake I become.

I try to stretch but a solid object stops me from stretching my aching limbs. I look over to see a tanned skin girl lying on her stomach, her back is bare, and when I lift the shifts I realize she’s completely naked.

Christen. I start to piece my night together, after Kelley challenged me, I followed through taking Christen back to my dorm. She was definitely naïve about having sex with a girl. She fumbled the entire night but I found it endearing and helped guide her she has to learn at some point and I’m an amazing teacher. Hopefully whoever she sleeps with next gets a better performance though.

Looking at her toned back I think to myself that we could try round two just so I can see if she learned anything last night or maybe her being drunk was a factor and she can prove that she knows what she’s doing.

“Christen?” I shake her lightly but she doesn’t budge. Well that’s just fucking great, I have a naked girl passed out in my bed, so I can’t have sex or at least stretch out and sleep.

“Don’t bother she won’t be waking up for a while.” I turn my head quickly towards the voice in my room, completely caught off guard.

“Kelley you fucking scared me.” I breathe out with relief. Too many times have I woken up to intruders with guns pointed to my head to ever feel safe when waking up and I scold myself for letting my guard down even if I’m here. I thought my old job may have followed me here for a second, but no just a gorgeous girl sitting in a bed staring at me.

Now that I notice, Kelley is only in a bra sitting up with Tobin sleeping in her lap. Even her shoulders are covered in freckles and I wish I could see if the rest of her body was. Its really unfortunate that the two girls I’m the most attracted to are dating each other I think as I stare at Kelley’s exposed chest and Tobin’s naked shoulders.

It also puts a damper on things considering Kelley is my job, and you don’t fuck with your job.

“How was your night?” She smirks at me. I look back at Christen, her back relaxed, well defined from being an athlete. She does have an amazing body and the sex wasn’t bad but I’ve had better.

“It was satisfactory I guess.” I turn back shrugging at Kelley who just laughs softly.

“Want to go grab some breakfast? These two will be passed out for a while.”

“Yeah sounds good.” I jump down from bed to change into actual clothes instead of just my bra and underwear. I feel Kelley’s eyes follow me from my bed to my closet and I take my time finding something to wear. If I want to hang out with Kelley then I have to keep her interested and the look on her face tells me that she is. When I turn around Kelley is standing right in front of me, her eyes hungry.

“I just realized that you have a nice body.” She skims her hand down my arm as she cocks her head to the side to gage my reaction.

I lean in closely to her bring my mouth up to her ear, “I know how to use it too.” I feel the intake of her breath and smile at the reaction I get from her.

“Shall we?” I turn around throw on a t-shirt and shorts walking out of the dorm room for her to follow. I can hear her laughing as she jogs to catch up to me.

*

Kelley brings me to some small breakfast place downtown, it’s quiet with very few people here. I like the feel of this place, it reminds me of a library but with no books, quiet and exclusive.

“So how are you liking Stanford so far?”

“I like the West Coast so it’s not bad, the weather is a lot better here than out east.”

“I don’t mind the weather in New York, the winter can be a bitch but I love the fall.” “What made you come out here?” I figure if she wants to share then I can push her for more.

“It put 3,000 miles between my dad and I.” As she takes a drink of her tea, her eyes scream sadness, loneliness, but I can’t say I feel bad for her. It must be hard getting everything you want even if daddy isn’t around.

“Not a fan?”

“Something like that.” Kelley shrugs, “What about you? How do you like your parents? They must miss you being across the country.”

“They’re dead.” I straight out say, “Car crash a few years ago.” They died when I was eighteen, during my first year of college.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” She looks at me with concern. Save it please I don’t need anyone’s pity. My parents and I were never close, actually I didn’t feel like I had a family until…I shake my head trying to focus on Kelley and not my past. “My mom left us when I was six, I haven’t seen her since.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” I refocus my attention on her. “It must be hard not having them around.”

“It’s whatever.” She shrugs but I can immediately tell something is bothering Kelley by the way her upper body stiffens. I know she is a rich, spoiled brat but losing a mother because it was her choice would be hard.

“You okay?”

“Yeah yeah I’m fine.” The look in her eyes is defeated and the look in her eyes actually makes me want to comfort her but something stops me. This is my client, my job is to watch her, not become an actual friend and I need to realize that. I don’t have time to feel sorry for her.

“So how long have you and Tobin been dating?” I switch to a lighter topic wanting her to ease up.

“Oh Tobin isn’t my girlfriend.” She smiles at me, instantly becoming out of her mood and acting like she’s filling me in on a secret, “She is one of my best friends I could never date her we just like to fool around.”

“And there are no feelings attached there?”

“No not at all its just sex.” She tilts her head a little smirking, “Why?”

“Curiosity I guess.” I shrug it off not wanting to seem desperate for information.

“I don’t do relationships and Tobin knows that so it’s easier to hook up with her because I know she doesn’t have feelings for me. If I hook up with a random and have the girl end up liking me it gets messy.”

“Afraid of commitment?”

“Something like that.” Her vagueness annoys me. “What about you? Do you like Christen?”

“I don’t know Christen enough to like her but no nothing more is going to come out of that.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t settle for anyone.”

“What is no one good enough to keep your attention?” She presses me.

“Something like that.” I lean forward mimicking her vagueness and she laughs. She full out laughs, her laugh is musical, filling the space around us, it’s contagious.

“I like you.” She smiles widely at me, “You’re different.”

“Says the girl full of mysteries.”

“I’m not mysterious people just think I am.”

“And why do you think that is?”

“Because I like to have a good time, people think I’m intimidating because of it I guess.”

“Or maybe it’s because you continually stare.” I deadpan, “People get uncomfortable when they think they’re being judged.”

“You didn’t get uncomfortable.” She points out.

“I’m not most people and I don’t care if you judge me.”

“And whys that?”

“Because I don’t really care what you think.” I say it honestly but there is an edge in my voice, an edge that Kelley picks up on. “You’re no different than everyone else so your opinion shouldn’t matter.”

“My opinion shouldn’t matter?” She says it lightly but I hear the challenge in her voice.

“You’re not special Kell.” I use the nickname I hear people call her, “I don’t mean it in a rude way but there is nothing about you that makes me want your approval.” It’s harsh but it’s true because I don’t care what she thinks.

“Point taken.” She breaks eye contact. I go back to eating my breakfast just waiting for her to tell me to stay away from her or something dramatic. “You don’t know me.” She says finally.

“No I don’t but I’d like to.” I stare at her warmly wanting to sooth the sting of my previous words.

“You want to be my friend?” She questions.

“Something like that.”  I smile at her.

She laughs, and god does her laugh fill something inside of me, something I haven’t ever felt before.

*

The past couple of weeks I’ve spent most of my time with the team getting to know everyone. I’ve gotten closer to a lot of them especially Tobin and Kelley, sometimes I don’t even think I’m working, which causes a problem when Kelley does stupid stuff.

Kelley is everything I don’t like in a person. She is loud, obnoxious, a trouble maker, careless, and an attention seeker, but she’s also extremely funny, kind, and actually very caring. And behind her party girl façade she’s a decent human being.

“Alex you’re going to class.” Kelley says jumping on my bed trying to get me up.

“Will you stop being so annoying.”

“Get up Alex I’m serious we aren’t allowed to miss any classes.” Kelley sits down hard on my pelvis.

“Ow Kelley watch it.” I say trying to push her off.

“Come to class please.” She pouts like if she does this she will actually get her way.

“Fine just get off of me.” I push her off of me, getting off my bed, grabbing my back and heading out of the door with her following behind me.

I don’t want to go to this class because it’s with Hope and I would rather not see her. We walk into the class and it’s almost like a small auditorium with each aisle rising in level. Kelley decides to sit at the top at the back of the classroom so we’re the highest level up.

Hope walks in a few moments later, wearing her hair back in a ponytail, dress pants and shirt.

“Holy shit dude she’s hot.” Kelley nudges my arm.

“She looks like an uptight bitch to me.”

“Yeah but a hot one!” Kelley continues. Sometimes I can really see the immaturity in her and this is one of those times.

“Good morning class I’m Professor Solo.” She says walking into the front of the desk and sitting down on it. “I’ll be teaching this Psych 154 Human Behavior and Sexuality.”

“No way.” I say before catching myself. Kelley gives me an odd look before turning back to the class.

“I’m passing around the syllabus that discusses what we will be learning, the requirements I have for this class, and a course schedule of all due dates.  As this goes around I’ll be taking attendance.” Hope starts to call off names and I just want to laugh at how well she plays teacher.

“Alexandra Morgan.” Hope calls out pretending to search the room.

“Here.” I raise my hand, smirking at her, “You can call me Alex, ma’am.”

“Alex I need to see you after class.” She looks pointedly at me as everyone’s eyes shift to me.

“Got it.”

“Lucky.” Kelley hisses at me.

Hope continues to take attendance before starting her lecture on everything on the syllabus, and all that bullshit.

‘I’m going to get some solo time with Professor Solo.’ Kelley hands me her notebook.

“You’re an idiot.” I shake my head at her continuing to listen to Hope ramble on about the criteria for her course.

“Do you think she is gay?” Oh she is very gay.

“I don’t know Kelley just shut up and listen.”

“She looks like she would know what she was doing.” Kelley continues to stare at Hope with that stupid look she does when she wants something.

“You dragged me here from my bed so I’m going to pay attention.” I snap at her. “Chill with the little girl crush.”

“Miss Morgan care to share with the class why you won’t stop talking to Miss O’Hara?” Hope cuts through the lecture room, all eyes turning to us.

“We we’re just discussing sexuality and how to read peoples.” I look her up and down so people know we are talking about her. Kelley actually blushes and a flash of pure anger presents itself in Hope’s eyes.

“Pay attention ladies.” Hope turns her attention back to the class.

“And I’m the idiot?” Kelley glares at me before turning back to pay attention to Hope.

Hope’s class goes fairly quickly because she only goes over the syllabus today. All the students start to shuffle out of her room and on to the next boring class. Kelley gives me a quick good luck hug before leaving the room to meet up with people for lunch.

“Great lecture today Professor I’m sure this class will be extremely informative to students.”

“Shut up Alex I didn’t get to choose the class I taught.” She throws back at me.

“Well you’re an expert in sexual behavior.” I say stepping closer to her so we’re inches apart. “I remember learning a thing or two from you.”

“That was a while ago.” Hopes eyes remind me of a predator’s, hungry and dangerous.

“You can always give me a refresher course.” I say playing at the front of her pants. “I wouldn’t want to forget anything.”

Hope and I had a special relationship before I was kicked out of my section. We would act like we hated each other in front of everyone but then we would hate each other late at night, behind closed doors as well. Hope Solo is strong, uncontainable, and she loved to be in control. It’s easy to say sex with Hope Solo was overwhelmingly satisfying.

“My next class is at two.” Hope gives in. She always gave in when it came to me.

*

“I forgot how good you were.” We lay there entangled in each other not for comfort but because of sheer exhaustion. “I needed that.”

“You have no idea.” Hope breathes out before getting up to walk to her bathroom. “I’m showering.”

Oh how easy it is to fall right back into a routine. Hope and I would have sex, aggressively invigorating sex and then she would lay with me for a little, gain her composure, and ask me to shower. We did it every time we hung out, no sleep overs, no waking up in the morning, just sex, a shower, and a quick goodbye.

We had sex again in the shower, she always got out first, but I stayed in a little longer trying to gain feeling in my legs. When I get out Hope is already dressed, waiting for me, her face like a statue, emotionless, strong, like stone.

“How is Kelley doing?” Hope cuts right to the chase.

“Already asking about another girl?” I fake pout as she tosses me my shirt, “Hurts my feelings.”

“I’m serious what have you found out about her?”

“She’s incredibly obnoxious but she is endearing. She is an amazing forward but if she is in a defensive situation I could totally see her become an amazing defender. She is an extreme partier but only with alcohol. She is fucking her best friend who is my roommate.” I shrug. “Uh that’s it I guess.”

“You’ve been with her for three weeks now and that’s what you have?”

“She isn’t doing anything dangerous so I’m doing my job and keeping her out of trouble.”

“I want to know every single place she goes to, every single person she talks to, every single message, IM, comment, whatever the fuck these kids do. I want you to know every little detail about her, got it?” Hope is standing in my face now.

“I’ll give you two seconds to back the fuck away from me.” I warn her but she just moves closer.

“Do your fucking job Alexandra.” She uses my full name signifying that she is serious because she only uses my full name when it’s important.

“You’ll never be as good as me so why don’t you let me do my job because I’ll get it done.” I whisper to her before turning to walk away.

“You’re not Abby.” The moment she says it I clench my fist whipping around making contact with Hope’s cheek.

Hope immediately hits my sternum with the palm of her hand, the pain shooting deep into my chest. I swing again but she ducks as her foot makes contact with my stomach. She comes at me again with her foot but I twist it down pushing her back into her dresser. We take turns throwing hits back and forth until she somehow has me pinned on the bed. She gets a good slap to my face leaving a searing pain before I maneuver my legs enough so I can flip her over. I didn’t realize I had a candlestick in my hand raising it above her head until I felt the weight of it and the look in her eyes.

I drop the candle stick, kissing Hope hard on the mouth, putting so much force into it.

“You might want to ice that cheek.” I push off the bed and leave.

*

Practice was extremely brutal today, my body already bruised and sore from fighting Hope. It wasn’t the first time Hope and I have gotten into a physical altercation. We both knew never to go for the face but I had hit her hard in the cheek and I know it was going to bruise.

“Alright ladies good practice today.” Coach Rampone announces to the team. “We have a game coming up soon so everyone should be on their best game.”

“Where were you all day?” Kelley questions me.

“I was taking care of some things.” I shrug taking my socks and cleats off.

“So you couldn’t answer any of my texts?” Kelley doesn’t like being ignored and she had texted me like five times asking me where I was and if I was okay.

“Kell I’m sorry.” I look over at her as she pouts at me with puppy eyes, “I’ll buy you dinner?”

“I know.” She smiles as she starts taking her own gear off.

I take my shirt off getting undressed to shower when I hear Kelley gasp.

“Alex what the hell happened to you?” Kelley says staring at my half naked torso. I forget for a second about the massive bruises I would probably have.

“Oh probably from soccer.” I shrug looking back into my locker.

“Those are not from soccer Alex.” She glares at me knowing I’m lying.

“Kell I don’t know what else they would be from then.” I look at her trying my best to have an ‘I have no clue but it’s okay face’

“Did someone do this to you because I swear I’ll fucking kill someone.”

“Easy there tiger.” I laugh at how tough Kelley sounds, “No one put their hands on me.”

“So you really don’t know where you got those bruises?”

“They seriously are probably from soccer or me being a klutz and not realizing it.”

“Alright.” She says eyeing me uneasily, “Lets shower, grab some food, and cuddle in bed.”

“I don’t cuddle.”

“Oh you’ll cuddle me.” She glares at me like she is some sort of diva before heading into the showers.

*

Cuddling with someone is unfamiliar to me. It isn’t something I enjoy or that I’m use to but my body hurts and I don’t feel like pushing her off when she lays next to me and wraps her body around mine.

“I’m excited for the game on Friday.” Kelley sighs into me completely relaxed.

“Yeah UCLA is tough but our team is good enough to beat them.”

 “Can I just sleep here tonight? I’m fucking exhausted and don’t think I can walk back to my dorm.” Kelley snuggles her head into my shoulder more. I want to say no, knowing she is my assignment but I can’t help but like the feeling of her against me.

“I don’t like sharing a bed.”

“Oh come on you shared one with Chris.”

“Yeah because I fucked her and she passed out.” Kelley props up on one elbow staring down at me with a furrowed brow.

“Well if that’s what it takes.” She whispers leaning down a little. No fucking way is Kelley trying to have sex with me right now.

I’d love to count her freckles with my lips.

No fucking stop her, she is your assignment, and you cannot fuck it up by having sex or hurting her somehow.

My savior came from the slim tan girl busting into our room. Kelley hesitated for a second before turning her head to Tobin with a smile.

“Am I interrupting something?” Tobin smiles widely at the two of us.

“No Kelley was actually just leaving.” I turn to give her a dismissive stare.

“She won’t let me sleep in her bed Tobin.” Kelley turns to her with sad, playful eyes.

“What are you tattling on me?”

“Oh come here Kell you can sleep with me.” Tobin outstretches her arms as Kelley hops from the bed, and sits in her lapping kissing her. Seriously this girl is ridiculous.

Kelley doesn’t stop kissing Tobin, in fact, she straddles her, her hands leaving Tobin’s shoulders and what I assume is going down her torso. Kelley’s back is to me so I can’t see what she is doing but when I hear a moan escape from Tobin’s mouth I know what’s going on.

“Get the fuck out of my room if that’s what you guys consider sleep.”

“Your room.” Tobin is always goofy, having a grin continually on her face but right now she is completely serious. It’s extremely attractive.

Kelley kisses her one more time softly on the lips before getting up to put her flip flops on.

“Night Lex.” Tobin sends me a smile before heading out the door.

I turn to Kelley who is staring at me with those same eyes from the party a couple weeks ago, taunting me, challenging me. She thinks everything is a game, but with games someone is a winner, and it’s going to be me.

“Goodnight Alex.”

*

I wake up the next morning to an empty dorm room. I stretch and feel all of the sore muscles in my body. I hear my phone vibrating on the night stand, slowly getting up from my bed, I check it and it’s from Hope.

Hope 8:24am: Thanks for the shiner.

The text says with a picture of Hopes bruised cheek so I decided to return the favor. I pull my shirt over my head to expose my bare chest, snapping a picture, as the door to my dorm room flies open with a tired Tobin.

“Holy shit.” Tobin stops in her tracks looking at my naked torso. “Shit sorry dude.” She apologizes but doesn’t look away.

I send the picture to Hope with a quick text telling her I was in need of another lesson soon.

I look back up to Tobin, mouth wide open, eyes wide and staring. I know I’m only in my underwear and should feel exposed but I don’t. Tobin is extremely beautiful and I don’t mind a beautiful girl admiring my body.

I think about last night, I think about how Kelley stared at me with those eyes. She wanted to play a game so let’s play a game.

I walk towards Tobin who is completely still. I’ve always been able to easily seduce women and men for that matter so I know when I look at Tobin with my eyes that she won’t say no.

“Tobin.” I say her name even though my voice is usually raspy it comes out smoother, seductive. I skim my hand up her arm slowly, teasingly, until I bring it up to the back of her neck, scratching it lightly with my fingertips.

The point is to tease her but have her make the first move, if she makes the first move then I have an upper advantage on Kelley.

Tobin makes the first move.

Her hands are on my hips, her mouth pushing against mine, and I don’t really think she realizes what she’s doing. I bite at her bottom lip causing her body to shudder, as I ask permission for my tongue to explore hers, she abides, as her hands roam up to my chest. Tobin pushes me against the door as her hands roam as our tongues discover each other.

“You have an amazing body.” Tobin breathes out as her lips find my neck, she is going to leave a mark, but at this point I don’t care. Kelley’s words swirl around in my head as I remember the first time she told me I had an amazing body.

Tobin is a lot more experienced than Christen. Her teeth scrape against my collar bone causing me to moan as I push my hips into hers. I grab her waist pulling her towards me as I push my hips out. I want Tobin, I’ve wanted Tobin.

This isn’t about a game right now. I want this because I’ve wanted this since I met Tobin and now I can have it.

I let out a moan as Tobin’s hands find the top of my underwear. I unconsciously grab her hand wanting her to touch me but when I go to move her hand she holds it in place. I look up searching her eyes to see if she wants to stop but all I see is her dark smoldering eyes on mine.

“Ask me.” She says her voice fierce, even more arousing then her stare. “Ask me Lex.”

“Tobin please?” I would never usually give in to this because I don’t ask permission for anything but its Tobin so I play along.

Her hand slides into my underwear once before she pulls my underwear down my legs and onto the floor. She doesn’t waste any time kneeling down, grabbing my leg, and resting it on her shoulder so I’m exposed. I run my hand through her hair, pulling her hair gently urging her on. Then I feel her fingers inside of me and her mouth on me simultaneously and I let out a moan that is more than enough encouragement as she begins.

If this is a game then I’m winning.


	3. Chapter 3

“We’re almost there.” I could hear her staggered breathing as we ran down the trail. Our breathing is in sync as we match each other’s strides.

It’s early in the morning still dark out but Kelley wanted to go for a run so here we are running these trails in this woodsy place but it’s relaxing. Life at Stanford is fun, I like my team, and even some classes but its tiring putting up with Kelley’s antics.

Kelley starts picking up her pace but I just continue to match hers pushing both of us further. That’s one thing I like about Kelley she pushes me at everything we do.

We finally get to an opening that leads us right to a sandy beach. Kelley plops down on the sand, her stomach expanding with every breath she makes. I sit down next to her a little less winded because I am in better shape from training nonstop.

“Good run.” I smile down at her catching my own breath.

“Seven miles? Oh yeah no biggie.” She jokes.

“You’re the one who wanted to come out here Kelley.”

“Yeah well you owed me after nearly choking me to death.” She glared at me for the earlier incident we had.

“Kelley I’ve told you a million times not to wake me up like that and you insist on jumping on top of me at 4:30am. I didn’t mean to choke you I’m sorry.”

“I’ve learn my lesson I’ll probably have marks to show it.” She rubs her neck and I probably did leave marks. I was aiming for crushing her trachea but my surroundings caught up to me before I did any serious damage. “You have extremely fast reflexes for just waking up by the way.”

“I know I really am sorry Kell I didn’t mean to hurt you.” I look down kicking the sand.

“I know you’re just weird about getting woken up out of your sleep. It’s like you think someone is out to get you. What’s up with that anyways?”

“Nothing my parents just always taught me to be cautious.”

“Of girls who jump on your bed to wake you up?”

“No of intruders.” I explain wanting her to let it go, “How did you get a key anyways?”

“I have my ways.”

“You’re such a mystery.” I roll my eyes stretching out my legs while Kelley lays there staring up at me.

 “Lay with me.” Kelley suddenly says staring up at me with those eyes.

“Kell I already told you I don’t cuddle.”

“Yeah so I remember.” She cocks an eyebrow at me, “Lay with me and watch the sky change.” She stares expectantly at me but her gaze softens which turns into a pout. “Please? I think you owe me some TLC after that assault earlier.”

It’s been a couple of weeks since Kelley was in my bed and almost kissed me. After she left with Tobin we went back to playing the same games as always. She is still a mystery to me but Kelley has definitely grown on me. I actually find myself feeling like my feelings could run a little deeper but I’m not letting myself get to that point.

“Ugh fine.” I do what she wants because I know she will pout until I do anyways. I position myself next to her my head lying on her arm as we stare up at the sky. We laid there for a long time quietly staring up at the sky until Kelley broke the comfortable silence, “I used to do this with my Mom. If I couldn’t sleep or didn’t feel good we would watch the skies change.”

“Did it help?” I ask curious to hear Kelley talk about her mom.

“Yeah it always helped I use to fake being sick just so she would take me outside.” She laughs lightly but I can hear the inevitable sadness coming through, “And then it stopped. I was six years old and when I woke up one night I couldn’t find her. I was six years old in a giant house looking for my mom scared so I went outside and pretended she was there. I guess I hoped she would come find me but she never did.”

“I’m sorry Kelley.” I reach my hand up lightly pressing it on her cheek. It’s wet so I turn my head to face her but she’s looking up at the sky. Staring at it so intensely, her jaw clenched looking flawless with such strength despite the tears.

“She left exactly thirteen years ago.” She clears her throat. And I realize why she woke me up to go running with her. She couldn’t sleep and she didn’t want to be alone so she came to watch the sky change.

I see Kelley in a different light tonight. There are rare occasions that I see beyond Kelley’s tough party girl exterior. I stop thinking like an agent then and I lean up to kiss her jaw wanting for just a second to feel the comfort her mother never gave her.

We laid there watching the stars disappear as the darkened sky started to turn a light shade of blue. Kelley didn’t say anything else about her Mom but she didn’t have to.

I was starting to see the real Kelley a Kelley that I was starting to really like.

*

We got back to the dorms to shower heading in opposite directions. When I got back to the dorms Tobin was lying in her bed sound asleep. I looked at the clock and decided that Tobin had slept long enough.

I jumped on top of her and she woke up with a startled grunt from the impact.

“What the hell Alex.” She groans.

“Rise and shine sleepy.”

“Go away I don’t have class until twelve.” She tries to roll me off of her but I’m stronger than her so she rests her hands on my hips instead.

“Come on Tobs I want breakfast and I want to get it with you.” I pout giving my best puppy eyes that I learned from Kelley.

“I’m not hungry.” She protested. I bend down so my face is inches from hers staring into her eyes.

“But I am.” I whisper my voice filled with a different kind of hunger. Tobin reaches her head up to mine to kiss me and that’s when I pull away. “Now get up.”

“You’re a brat.” She huffs but gets up to get ready anyways.

Tobin and I walk to breakfast joking the entire way to the cafeteria where we find all of our friends talking animatedly with each other.

“Kelley you can’t beat me in pushups.” Ashlyn laughs shaking her head at Kelley who is challenging her to a competition right here on the floor.

“Do it Ashlyn come on don’t be a chicken.” Sydney pushes her to do it. This is something I’ve grown accustomed to these past weeks with this team. Kelley is always challenging Ashlyn to random competitions, and Sydney who always enjoys the competition between the two. Ashlyn is our goal keeper for the team and she is pretty decent despite all of the injuries she has had over her career. Kelley and Ashlyn are pretty tight which doesn’t surprise me Ashlyn speaks her mind and can be blunt but she is a complete sweetheart and I enjoy her company.

“Fine.” Ashlyn stands up jumping lightly like she’s preparing to go into a game.

“Ashlyn.” We all turn to see Ali walking up with her food glaring at her girlfriend. “Sit down.”

Ashlyn immediately sits down and some of us erupt in laughter while others making a whipping sound. Ali and Ashlyn are both juniors and have been dating since freshmen year. They both live off campus in their own apartment. Ali calms Ashlyn while Ashlyn excites Ali, they have a perfect balance. Ali is a complete sweetheart so I can see why they worked together so well.

“I don’t want our goalie and one of our forwards getting in trouble especially when we have a game Saturday.”

“That’s true. Another time Kelley.” Ashlyn smirks at her before giving her girlfriend a kiss on the cheek.

“Guys want to have a movie night tonight?” Lauren asks everyone once we all settle in to breakfast.

“Yeah let’s watch a scary movie.” A-Rod suggests happily.

“I’m game.” Tobin mumbles as she stuffs half of a waffle into her mouth.

“You’re disgusting Tobs.” Kelley makes a face at her so Tobin retorts by kissing Kelley’s cheek with her mouth still filled of food. I laugh hysterically at the face Kelley makes when she realizes Tobin still has a mouthful of waffle. “You’ll pay for that later.” Kelley says as Tobin wipes off the access maple syrups on Kelley’s face with her food covered tongue.

Tobin and Kelley have an interesting relationship besides having casual sex with each other; Tobin brings out this playful side to Kelley. It’s an innocent playfulness that I actually enjoy seeing. They act like they are in their own world together and they actually would be cute together if they dated but I can’t say I’m not glad that they aren’t.

“So it’s settled we will all watch a movie tonight? See you guys at practice.” Lauren says standing up to follow Sydney and Amy to their next class.

Everyone voices their agreement.

“Hey guys.” Christen says sitting down next to all of us.

“Hey Chris.” I direct my attention at her giving her my signature smirk.

“Hey Alex.” Christen says shyly. Ever since the night we slept together she hasn’t said much to me besides when were on the field. Kelley told me it was because I intimidate her and she is embarrassed that she may not have performed up to my standards.

“What have you been up to?” I continue speaking to her liking the reaction I get from her.

“Not much uh you?”

“Oh nothing.” I pop a grape into my mouth and she looks away.

“Alex leave her alone.” Kelley laughs shaking her head, “Come on Chris we have class.”

“Bye guys.” Christen smiles at us grabbing her banana to go.

Kelley stands up to leave but before she does she pulls Tobin’s chin up so she can kiss her. Sometimes I forget that they have their little arrangement. What makes me annoyed is that I feel a ping of jealousy but I’m not sure for which one of them.

“You owe me.” Kelley says sternly before kissing Tobin again.

“Yeah yeah yeah I’ll see ya later.” Tobin smiles that goofy smile again.

“See you at practice Alex.” Kelley does that same smirk at me that she does every time she’s around Tobin.

 Kelley doesn’t know though.

“See ya.” I wave dismissively. “I’m going to head out too.”

“Wait I’ll come with you.” Tobin says standing up to follow me back to our dorm room but I put my hand up to stop her. I know what she thinks is going to happen but I’ve been very clear about this since the first time we hooked up.

“Have fun with Kelley.” I hear the smoothness in my voice but if she knows better than she will know it’s a warning. Her face falls and her shoulders slump but I just turn to walk away.

*

We’ve been at Ali and Ashlyn’s apartment watching movies and I find myself in the middle of Kelley and Tobin on the couch. Sydney is sitting between my legs with Lauren and A-Rod on opposite sides of her. Christen is on Kelley’s other side and Ashlyn and Ali are hanging out on the other couch with Kristie.

The scary movie has only started a couple of minutes ago and I already feel Tobin’s hand gravitating towards mine which is resting between us. I pull away a little once I feel contact and I see her face deflate a little. I feel her bring her hand back to mine and she slowly starts to interlace our fingers together and I don’t pull away this time. I like the feeling of Tobin’s hand in mine and I just thank god we have a blanket over us so no one can see.

A little bit of a quarter of the way through the movie a scary part happens and I feel Kelley’s hand on my thigh. She doesn’t move it after though and as the movie progresses she moves it closer and closer to my inner thigh.

Kelley’s touch is electrifying and I have to control the laughter inside of me at the situation I’m in right now. I’m in between two beautiful girls who both want attention in their own ways.

 “Easy there.” I whisper to Kelley and she nods lightly moving her hand up a little farther and holds it there. Moving it every once in a while when a scary part pops up on the screen.

After the movie ends I stand up needing space from both of them. It’s overwhelming to be between both of them the entire movie and not make a move on either one of them.

“I think I’m going to skip the next movie and call it a night.”

“Oh don’t be a chicken.” Kristie teases as Ashlyn yells in agreement.

“Sorry what can I say these movies are just too much for me.”

“Yeah even though you didn’t flinch once.” Kelley notes out loud.

“Goodnight guys.” I laugh as they all boo at me.

“Wait up I’ll walk back with you.” Tobin yawns. “I’m tired anyways.”

“Wait Lex before you go do you think you can pick me up tomorrow morning I have to drop my car off to get it fixed so I need a ride to class from there.” Kelley asks me. Kelley has been having trouble with her car and after arguing about it for a half an hour she finally agreed to get it fixed.

“Yeah of course Kell I’ll pick you up just text me the address.”

We say our goodbye and Tobin and I start to walk home. We carry on light conversation but I can see something is bothering Tobin. Finally when we’re halfway there I ask her what’s on her mind because Tobin is usually never quiet like this with me.

“I just want you to know that if you don’t want me sleeping with Kell while we you know then I won’t.” Tobin looks away shyly.

“Tobin you can do whatever you like.”

“I know I can but I want to keep hanging out with you.” Tobin says and I’m happy to hear her response.

“Alright then we’re fine stop worrying, worry wrinkles don’t suit you.” I tease her pushing her a little and when she comes back she grabs my hand. I don’t pull it away because she has that grin on her face and her eyes are lit up even in the dark.

I know I’m supposed to be focusing on Kelley but right now all I can focus on is that smile.

*

“Alex wake up.” I hear mumbling and I feel the girl next to me stretch her long limbs. “You’re going to be late for class.” I feel Tobin kiss my shoulder but I don’t open my eyes. My skin feels hot against hers, her body radiating the perfect amount of heat. I feel completely relaxed right now and I don’t want to move. I feel settled but then I feel her wrap her body more around me and then it dawns on me that we’re cuddling.

Cuddling. Oh for fuck sake.

“Oh shit.” I say it out loud not meaning to but it’s already escaped my mouth. I lift myself and her body weight up as I scramble to get out of bed.

“You okay?” She looks at me curious and amused.

“Yeah uh I just don’t want to be late for class you know coach doesn’t want us missing any classes.” I stumble through my excuse trying to throw on any clothes I can manage to find.

“Since when do you care about class?” She chuckles lightly not feeling the inner turmoil that I do. “Come on stay in bed with me.”

Cuddling is the epitome of weakness, you don’t cuddle and feel safe you cuddle and then you get screwed over. I don’t cuddle and it takes two weeks of sleeping with this girl to forget that even if it was just for a little bit. Usually after we have sex we’re both so tired that she falls asleep pretty quickly and I go to my own bed, but last night I must have fallen asleep first.

“I don’t cuddle.” I say pointedly clearly showing my frustration.

“What?” Her features become confused and the arch in her eyebrow makes me want to get back in that bed which makes me even angrier.

“Nothing ill catch ya later Tobs.” I slam the door more forcefully then I intended to.

What am I doing?

*

“Where the fuck were you this morning?” Kelley abruptly sits down next to me. My mind was clouded with inner scolding about Tobin.

“Sleeping like a normal person.” I point out confused by her abruptness.

“You were supposed to pick me up remember? I had to drop my car off so you were going to pick me up.” Oh shit. “I had to walk back. It took me like a half an hour.”

“Damnit Kell I’m sorry.” I apologize but she looks away. Nothing with Kelley ever comes easy especially when you fuck up. “Kell I really am sorry I completely forgot.”

“It’s fine.” I don’t know why girls bother with the word fine when we all know it’s laced with pure rage anyways.

“Let me make it up to you.” I lean closer needing her to make eye contact with me and she does. Kelley stares into my eyes, her eyebrows are furrowed, and her lip is tightly closed. She looks adorable but you could never tell her that, she would use it to her advantage every time.

“How?”

“Let me take you to dinner.” I offer the first thing that pops in my head.

“And?” She presses obviously not okay with my offer.

“Dessert.” I whisper in her ear wanting the darkness in my voice to sway her anger. And it does. I see the muscles in Kelley’s throat as she swallows and when she turns to me I see the same darkness in her eyes. I press my luck as my hand swipes lightly up her thigh. “Let me take you out.”

“Pick me up after practice at 8pm.” She says curtly but I know I’m somewhat forgiven. I kiss her cheek not really knowing why but I can see the change in her eyes when I do.

She turns to me moving her face closer to mine. Her eyes search my face with those hazel eyes looking at me with a hidden emotion that she won’t let betray her. She runs her hand along my cheek like we aren’t in a classroom but by ourselves. Her touch is gentle which surprises me but everything surprises me when it comes to Kelley.

“Class turn your attention to the power point.” I hear Hopes voice cut through breaking the contact between Kelley and I.

“Fucking great.” I mutter to myself but Kelley doesn’t acknowledge it.

Class goes by agonizingly slow so I lay my head down wanting to rest because as of late Tobin keeps me up almost every night.

“Alright class, make sure to study all of your notes for the test on Monday.” I’m the first to stand up and get my things together to leave the classroom. “Miss Morgan a word please?”

“What’s up with you two?” Kelley questions me, “She has a particular interest in you.”

“Not one that I want to have.” I scoff ignoring her questioning look, “Listen ill catch up with you later alright?”

“Yeah see you at practice.” Kelley files out with the rest of the class.

“Professor how can I help you?” I ask teasingly as I make my way down the aisle.

“Meet me at my place in a half an hour.” She says before easily dismissing me.

*

“That was amazing.” I still feel the euphoria radiating inside of me that’s left me exhausted lying on top of Hope.

“Alexandra.” She breathes out not realizing it. There were only ever two people who called me Alexandra but ever since that day she died I cringe at hearing my name.

“Don’t call me that.” I roll off of her onto the empty side of the bed. She turns on her side running her hand along my cheek, down my neck, down the left side of my torso, and onto my hip where she lightly draws circles.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to.” She looks up at me a little sad, “Old habits die hard I guess.”

“It’s fine.”

“You know Al if you ever want to talk about that day we can.” It was weird having Hope talk to me in such a gentle tone. We usually never show emotion to each other or well we haven’t in a long time.

“There is nothing to talk about Hope.” I look away dismissively not nearly ready enough for this conversation.

“If this mission goes well enough then you will have to if you want to join the unit again. I can help you Alex if you just let me.”

“You know you sound a lot like her sometimes.” I breathe out not liking where this conversation is going.

“Well she was my partner for almost six years before she was assigned to you.”

“Do you blame me?” I look over to her wanting to see her eyes. I’m good at reading people’s eyes.

“I think we both can be blamed for that day but no Alex I don’t blame you.” She looks away, “She always told you to follow your gut and you did just sometimes it’s not enough.”

“Can we talk about something else?” I ask not wanting to revisit that day and the events that happened because of my judgment.

“Sure how about talking about where you got the hickeys from?” Her question confuses me because I didn’t realize I even had any.

“What hickeys?” I ask standing up to look in the mirror. Tobin had left hickeys all over my chest, stomach, and one on my neck. “I’m going to fucking kill her.” I spit out. How did I not notice them?

I was so angry at waking up to still being in Tobin’s bed and rushing to class that I hadn’t even had time to look in the mirror.

“Who is it? Is it Kelley?” Hope asks her voice stern. Any moment we may have shared completely gone.

“No I’m not stupid it’s from my roommate, Tobin.” I groan loudly looking over the damages.

“Tobin Heath? She gave this to you?” Hope laughs now and it’s a strange thing to see. I haven’t seen her laugh since…I can’t remember.

“Don’t laugh Hope it’s not funny.” She wraps her arms around my waist kissing me softly on the shoulder.

“It is funny.” She kisses my shoulder again making her way to my neck, “I never pegged you for being with someone so inexperienced.”

“She isn’t inexperienced at all.” I defend her because despite Tobin’s goofy personality she is amazing when it comes to that.

“Does she make you feel the way I do?” Hope nips at my ear and I’m not use to this playful side of her.

“Never like you.” She kisses my neck one more time before heading towards the showers.

I’m putting my clothes back on when Hope comes out and goes straight back into business.

“I hacked into all of Kelley’s stuff so you’ll be able to follow whoever she is texting. It’s in this separate app so it won’t mix into your own text messages. We just have to hook your phone up and sync it to my computer”

“So I have all access to anything she does on her phone?”

“Yes you can even literally watch her click on apps and follow everything she does at that exact moment you’re watching but she doesn’t really use any social networks to communicate only texting so make sure you’re following along with her texts in case she deletes any.” Hope grabs my phone plugging it in to her computer. After a few minutes the computer beeps and she hands me back my phone. “Alright it’s all set you have full access to Kelley’s phone.”

“Alright perfect thanks Hope.” I smile at her and glad that she is actually here with me.

“Don’t you have work to do?” Hope quickly reminds me why we have a hate part in our relationship.

“As always such a pleasure Hope.” I kiss her quickly on the cheek receiving a stern look before I turn to walk out of the apartment. I stop at the door to turn back to Hope seeing how her features are in that permanent scowl on her face. It wasn’t always like that.

“Hope.” She looks up from her computer “It was nice to hear you laugh.”

*

“Alex can we talk for a second?” Tobin comes up to me as I walk out of the locker room to head back to the dorms to shower.

“What’s up Tobs?”

“Are we cool?” Tobin asks looking a little nervous. I know this morning I didn’t leave on the best note and she probably thinks she did something wrong.

“Yeah Tobin were fine.” I smile to show she knows I’m serious. “I’m sorry for bugging out earlier I’m just not use to the whole cuddling thing.”

“Cuddling doesn’t have to mean anything you know.” Tobin shrugs easily. “I’m not trying to make this anything that it isn’t.”

“I know Tobin and I really like what we’ve been doing and I would really appreciate it if we kept this to ourselves.” I don’t want Kelley knowing that Tobin and I are hooking up. I don’t want anything knowing honestly. “I just don’t think the team needs to know.”

“I know you’re a private person I haven’t told a single soul and I won’t I promise.” She holds her pinky up to me and I can’t help but laugh at the gesture.

“Pinky promise?” I shake my head.

“Come on.” She holds her pinky closer to me, “Pinky promise?”

“Pinky promise.” I take her pinky in mine sealing our secret. “And if you ever leave a hickey on my neck where people can see it then it will be the last thing you ever get to do to me.”

“I didn’t even realize I left you a hickey I’m sorry.” I can already tell she isn’t by the playful smirk on her face.

“I’m serious Heath. I’m not a cow so do not brand me.”

“Okay okay I guess we will just have to get in some practice.” Tobin wiggles her eyebrows but I can only laugh.

“Tobin you’re such an idiot sometimes.” I smile at her shaking my head as she pretends to be hurt.

“So you wanna hang tonight or something? We can catch a movie, stuff our faces with candy, or something.” Tobin smiles easily at me but I have dinner with Kelley that I’m actually looking forward to. I love hanging out with Tobin she is so easy to be around and I love having sex with her but the way Kelley touched me today and how her eyes looked…I need to go to dinner.

“I’d love to Tobin but I told Kelley I would take her to dinner. I forgot to pick her up this morning.” Tobin’s face tells me already that I made a mistake forgetting her.

“I’m surprised she forgave you so easily.”

“I can be persuasive.” I shrug playfully nudging into Tobin as we walk back to the dorms.

“Oh I know.”

*

“Alex you’re going to be late.” Tobin notes to me without even looking up from her magazine.

I’ve spent the last hour shifting through outfits and continually asking Tobin what she thought. I think by the fourth outfit Tobin was bored with my constant questioning.

“Alright how do I look?” Tobin looks up from her magazine and a number of emotions flash on her face. I had done my hair so it fell in waves with a skirt on and a flowy top that I think Kelley will appreciate.

“You look uh you look gorgeous Alex.” Tobin smiles quickly before looking away.

“Tell me what’s wrong?” I sigh going to sit on her bed.

“Nothing Kelley’s just lucky to be going to dinner with you.” Tobin doesn’t look at me but I know what’s going on.

“You’re jealous?”

“Extremely.” Tobin doesn’t even try to deny it and that is one of the reasons why I like her so much. Tobin isn’t afraid to tell you how she feels no matter what.

“It’s just dinner Tobin.” I kiss her on the cheek. “I’ll come home and we can watch a movie alright?” Tobin just nods looking back down at her magazine. I finish up getting ready and start to head out.

“Lex?” Tobin calls as I’m heading out the door, “You really do look beautiful.”

I smile and this time she smiles back.

*

I walk outside and the weather is perfect out. I get to my car and send Kelley a quick text message that I’m outside.

Kelley 7:56pm: Hey I got held up wanna meet me at Bella’s Café? I’ll be there in a few!:)

I text her telling her alright even though I’m already annoyed that she isn’t ready to go to dinner even though it’s been an hour since practice ended but its Kelley and I shouldn’t be surprised. I drive to the place and get us a seat texting her telling her where I am in the restaurant.

Kelley 8:30pm: Hey order me the cheese raviolis and water! I’m on my way I just don’t want to hold you up anymore.

I text her back telling her no problem because I want her to know I am sorry for forgetting about her this morning. The waiter comes over and takes both of our orders.

I feel nervous and I’m not really sure why but I’m not sure of anything anymore. I even dressed up tonight wanting to look good for Kelley. Kelley is on her own level, a different game that she plays and I want to be a part of it. There are so many sides to Kelley that I have barely gotten to figure out. I like having sex with Tobin and I know I can’t have sex with Kelley but I want to be around her.

I sit patiently waiting for Kelley but our food is becoming cold so I text her asking where she is.

Kelley8:55pm: I’m literally five minutes away there is traffic please just wait I’m so sorry.

This is getting ridiculous but if I left and didn’t wait for her then I know I would be in the dog house with her.

“No fucking way.” I hiss out finally fed up with waiting for her. Its quarter past nine so I go to the app on my phone that lets me see what Kelley has been texting to people.

Ashlyn 9:36am: I think I’m going to throw a party at my place tonight so let the team know.

Kelley 10:06am: I will be there

She knew before class that she wouldn’t be going to dinner with me tonight. The hollow feeling in my stomach is something I’ll make sure to remember. I thought Kelley was different but apparently I underestimated how big of a bitch she can be.

Kelley 7:35pm: Going to get some stuff done real quick I’ll come pick you up from our dorm

Christen 8:07pm: Text me when you’re here.

Kelley 8:17pm: Yo bitch I’m outside lets go. Ashlyn said there is a keg there waiting for us.

I keep reading letting the rage inside of me dim a little before I did something that I would regret. I should’ve known it wasn’t that easy to be forgiven by Kelley but this was beyond low to me.

Kelley 8:35pm: Come to Ash and Ali’s apartment it’s getting crazy and I miss you.

Tobin 8:47pm: Aren’t you supposed to be at dinner with Alex?

Kelley 8:59pm: Oh whoops must’ve forgotten

Kelley 9:05pm: btw Tobs nice work you did on Alex’s neck ;)

Tobin 9:07pm: Not cool dude.

Ashlyn and Ali’s apartment takes a fifteen minute drive but I got there in about seven. I know I haven’t calmed down enough to be doing this but I cannot let this go. When I walk in Ashlyn greets me happily but I give a quick smile before searching her place for her.

I find her in the kitchen taking shots with some meat head. Kelley’s eyes find mine staring into them searching them to find evidence of her punishment. She holds up a shot and throws it back never letting her eyes leave mine. Those kind eyes finally showing a darkness that I’ve never seen before.

 

I realize then staring into her eyes that she isn’t worth it because she isn’t the Kelley I thought she was so I turn around and walk away.

 

I get half way down Ashlyn’s driveway before I hear footsteps and my name being called.

 

“Alex wait.” I hear the command in her voice that puts me over the edge.

“Fuck off Kelley.” I continue down the driveway wanting to get to my car.

“It’s your fault this happened.” I finally snap then not being able to hold it in. I turn around and she’s standing there her jaw set and her stance unwavering.

“I waited over an hour for you.” I yell but it comes out sounding defeated which surprises us both, “I dressed up and I fucking waited for you.” I search her eyes for remorse but I find them emotionless. “I didn’t purposefully try to forget you and I wanted to make it up to you…I, I wanted…you know what? It doesn’t matter. You lost your chance.”

“You fucked Tobin.” Is this what this is about?

“That’s what this is about? Getting back at me for Tobin?” I clap my hands, “Glad to know you really are the spiteful bitch everyone thinks you are.”

“You’re the one who fucked up Alex.”

“You aren’t together.” I argue back. I know I shouldn’t have slept with Tobin knowing Kelley and Tobin hooked up but she wanted to play this game.

“That doesn’t mean she isn’t mine.”

“You don’t own people Kelley.” I step closer to her. “Grow up.” I know I’m going to regret it but she tricked me. “You can’t just hurt people because you want to teach them a lesson.”

“There are consequences to every action.” She looks away now her previous composure deflating.

“So you thought you’d even the score?” I ask exasperated at how ruthless she can be, “Well congratulations you just won. I hope it was worth it.”

*

I walk into my dorm and Tobin immediately stands up walking towards me. Tobin knew how I felt about this date because she watched me pick outfit after outfit out.

“Hey Alex you okay?” She stands in front of me but I don’t give her time to pity me. I grab her face putting all of my anger into a kiss.

“Lex-” Tobin tries to cut me off and I don’t understand why until I realize I’m crying and she could taste the saltiness of a tear that escaped down my cheek and onto our lips.

I don’t give her a chance to say anything else because I don’t really know why I’m crying I just know that I want to find the comfort that I find with her touch. I just want to feel grounded again and relaxed. I don’t want to feel this anger.

“Clothes.” I whisper out but Tobin doesn’t deny me or try to talk. I fumble with her shirt but she grabs my hand breaking the kiss. She turns her head pressing her lips against my palm, kissing down my wrist.

“You’re beautiful.” She looks into my eyes and I know it is pure kindness radiating in the depths of brown. There is no darkness hiding underneath.

“No more talking please.”

The only words that escape our mouths are the urgent whispers and pleas of each other’s names. I let Tobin hold me afterwards and I fall asleep with her arms wrapped around me.


	4. Chapter 4

“Miss Morgan I suggest you put your head up and contribute to our discussion we’re having.” I hear Hopes voice but it’s too early to even want to deal with her bullshit class. “You’re more than welcome to leave my classroom.”

“Sorry Professor.” I mumble out having no energy to even come up with a snarky comment. It’s been a few weeks since I’ve talked to Kelley besides in soccer when I have to. It’s not really like she is putting effort into talking to me either. Not that I mind at all.

Or do I?

No. I don’t care all that matters right now is soccer because our team is actually really good and it’s the only thing that isn’t confusing in my life right now.

“Remember that all of your group write ups are going to be due by the end of the week so I suggest you get together with your partners.” Hope finishes her lecture. I had forgotten about the assignment Kelley and I are supposed to work on together. 

I stand up to leave so I can head back to my dorm to sleep the rest of my morning away but Hopes voice stops me.

“Miss O’Hara may I have a word?” Hope asks and I look down to see Kelley standing up smiling.

“Yeah of course.” Her voice is happy but I hear the seductive undertone.

I try to lag behind to see if I can catch their conversation but Hope gives me a look that tells me to leave. So I stand up and walk towards the door luckily there is a small wall so no one can see the door that lets everyone exit so I stand there ease dropping.

“So Professor what did you need to see me about?” That voice makes me want to punch something.

“Well you’ve seemed a little off lately so I wanted to make sure you’re okay. I don’t mean to overstep any boundaries but I just don’t want anything to affect your course work or soccer.” I hear the same flirtatious voice Hope use to use on our assignments.

“I’m okay just a little distracted lately but thank you for caring.” Oh please. Kelley acts like she is so fucking innocent it’s disgusting.

“Well if there is anything you ever need please don’t hesitate to ask.” I hear Hopes voice turn suggestive and I know what she is trying to do.

“I definitely will.” Kelley says a little taken back but she holds her composure well. It’s hard to deny Hope anything and her intimidating demeanor can be overwhelming at first.

“Miss O’Hara I think you may be late for your next class.”

“Oh right right yeah. Have a good day Professor.” I hear Kelley coming up the stairs so I quickly leave back to my dorm room.

I will have to deal with Hope later.

*

I wake up to feeling lips against the corner of my mouth but I’m too tired to even move. I hear her chuckle and then I feel her get into bed with me. She lies between me and the wall wrapping her arm around my waist. Her hand sliding down my stomach sends chills up my spine.

“I never thought I’d find someone who sleeps more than I do.” Her breath tickles against my ear.

“Yeah well I never thought someone would have a greater sex drive than me but here we are.” I tease her. Tobin is continually keeping me awake at night and it’s starting to wear me down.

“It’s not my fault you’re always all over me.” Tobin counters back lightly.

“You attacked me as soon as I walked through our door last night.” I push her back lightly. “It’s your fault I’m always so tired and don’t act like it’s not. Whenever we even get in a bed you automatically assume I’m going to have sex with you.”

“Well if that was the case then how do you explain your car?” She kisses my shoulder, “Or the shower?” She kisses my neck provoking me, “Or the dressing room in that store?” Her lips trail up my neck with each location we find ourselves touching each other. “Or the soccer field that one night.” Her lips hit the corner of my mouth, “Or your professors classroom.”

“Alright shut up.” I turn around kissing her and she does stop talking. I smile not being able to help think about how easily I give in. “You’re incessant.” I laugh once her hands start to roam.

“I can’t help it when it comes to you.” Tobin breathes against my neck as her hands roam up my side.

“I can’t say I mind.” I smile as her hands begin to pull at my shirt.

And I let her have what she wants because when it comes to her touch it becomes the only thing that I actually want. Her touch becomes the only thing that my mind can process and it’s like a craving that I can never quench.

*

“It’s been weeks and you still can’t lay here with me?” I hear Tobin mumble through the pillow. I tried getting out of bed slowly so I didn’t wake her but obviously it didn’t work. “Lex just stay with me. It’s your bed anyways.”

“Tobs I’m not leaving because I don’t want to stay.” I assure her putting on my jeans, “I have to go meet with a professor.”

“You would’ve left either way you always do.” Tobin props up on her elbow.

“That’s not true Tobin.”

“Yes it is because it always happens you only ever stay with me if you accidentally fall asleep and even then when I wake up I know you won’t be here. A girl could get her feelings hurt ya know.” I hear the teasing in her voice but I know she’s being serous.

“I don’t cuddle Tobs I told you that.” I shrug looking for my bra and shirt that’s mixed up in Tobin’s.

“I’m not asking you to cuddle and share feelings with me. I’m asking you to just stay in the same bed.”

“Then what is the point Tobs? I don’t get what the big fuss about cuddling after sex is.”

“I don’t know what it is but I feel safe when you’re in the same bed as me whether were sleeping, talking about girly stuff as you put it, or joking around. I just like being near you and I sleep better when you’re next to me.”

I look back as I’m putting on my bra and the sad look in Tobin’s eyes makes my own heart ache a little. Those brown eyes look into mine pleading for something I don’t think I can give her. Her lip juts out a little bit and that’s when I realize I want to give in so I do.

I pull my shirt on over my head and make my way over to the bed lying down next to her. She wraps her arm so I pull her close wanting to give her what she wants. She places a kiss on my neck that sends a fresh wave of shivers through my body but this time they aren’t filled with desire, it’s filled with something else that I haven’t really felt before.

“I like you Alex.” Tobin murmurs and I can already hear her drifting back to sleep. “Like I like you like you.”

“I thought we agreed no girly stuff?” I try to tease not wanting her to hear the effect her words have in my voice.

“No girly stuff just telling you how I feel. We don’t have to talk about it.” I hear her words begin to slow down with every syllable then I feel her breathing even out.

I kiss her forehead and pull her a little closer to me because the truth is I sleep better with Tobin around and she makes me feel safe. I know with her I won’t be disappointed or hurt and it’s comforting to know that. We can sleep together, have deep conversations, but then we can still be friends who laugh together and joke around. Tobin is perfect and that’s scary.

“I like you like you too.” I whisper knowing she will never hear it.

After about twenty minutes I slip out of her grasp and luckily this time I don’t wake her. I have to go talk to Hope but I don’t want Tobin to think I left her again so I leave her a note telling her where I’m going.

I stand outside of Hope’s classroom waiting for her and when she sees me all she does is glares and walks by me.

“Wanna tell me what that was about this morning with Kelley?” I ask her when I catch up to her.

“You clearly lost focus so I have to take control of the situation.” Hope doesn’t slow her pace or look at me which pisses me off.

“I haven’t lost focus Hope at all.”

“No because if you didn’t then you would know unknown numbers have been texting Kelley telling her that her shipments are ready to be distributed and you would’ve been there this afternoon to check on it.”

“What how do you know that?”

“I didn’t give you access to her phone for fun but you’re too invested in this role to even realize something is going on here.”

“I’m not too invested.”

“You and Kelley haven’t spoken in weeks and you’re trying to tell me you have it under control? Your mission was to become her friend and keep an eye on her.”

“I know but-”

“I don’t fucking care if she hurt your feelings.” Hope finally stops and continues her angry whispering, “You are supposed to be a top fucking agent but you let some snotty college student hurt your feelings. Where is Alexandra, remember her? The girl who used to infiltrate drug dealer’s lives and take them down without a second thought? She did whatever was necessary and she never let anyone stop her. Now you’re some sappy girl getting her feelings hurt over a girl who you’ll never see once you move back to our section.”

“She isn’t here anymore but that doesn’t mean I’m not capable of joining the section again and I am definitely capable of dealing with Kelley. You cannot take this mission from me.”

“Then show me that you can handle this. Get back in Kelley’s good graces, stop sleeping with Tobin, and see what the fuck she is up to before I take it into my own hands and you lose everything you worked hard for.”

“I have this Hope just have some trust in me.”

“Sadly you’re the only person I do trust” Hope lets out a sigh, “Fix it or I promise you I will.”

“I will, we have your project we have to work on so I will text her and make up with her.” Hope nods curtly dismissing me so I turn to leave.

“Alexandra.” I turn around hearing the name of a girl I no longer was, “Remember don’t feel.”

And with that Hope walks away.

*

I decide not to go back to my dorm room, knowing Tobin would be there and because Hope’s words won’t stop playing in my head.

Maybe I have been out of the unit for too long.

We learned during training that we shouldn’t feel anything. We all go undercover and had to infiltrate people’s lives when investigating for drugs. Sometimes weeks or months and we learned right away that we cannot develop feelings for anything. Developing feelings could put ourselves or others in danger and I excelled at developing a barricade for feelings I betrayed good people just for the sake of finding out a case. People fell in love with me only for me to turn around and destroy everything for them, but I didn’t care. I did anything that was necessary to solve a case. I was coldhearted, manipulative, dangerous, and I fueled from the deception.

 But I let myself slip once and I developed feelings for someone but it came at a price.

A price that I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for and that person just so graciously reminded me.

I shake away the thoughts that start creeping in my head about mine and Hope’s past. I decided to walk after my conversation ended with Hope and I found myself at a small café. I order a coffee and sit down trying to figure out what the fuck I’m supposed to do.

I reach for my phone going to the app that gives me access to Kelley’s phone to see what she is up to.

I see on my screen that Kelley is scrolling through Facebook. She comments on Christens wall, clicks on Ashlyn’s new picture that popped up on her newsfeed. Then she does something that surprises me and goes to her own pictures clicking on the one that I’m in. She zooms in on my face and it gets held there. It is strange watching her stare at a picture of me like I’m inside of her head and not just her iPhone screen.

She stops looking at it after a few seconds because she receives a text from Ashlyn.

Ashlyn 2:11pm: Dude did I leave my wallet at your dorm?

Kelley 2:12pm: Yeah you did want me to bring it to you?

Ashlyn 2:14pm: Ali is going to stop and get it after class. She wants to go grocery shopping and it’s my turn to pay so she will get it.

Kelley 2:14pm: Sounds good

I watch her as she starts to scroll through her messages and I make note that there aren’t any unknown numbers in her messages. She must’ve deleted them. What I do notice is Tobin’s name on the top of her messages so they must be texting again.

Then she clicks on my name that’s further below and I feel my breath catch and I force myself not to blink afraid I might miss something.

She clicks on the screen and starts typing on her keypad. She types out a simple hey but then erases it. She waits a few seconds then types out I’m sorry I fucked up but deletes that as well. She types out three words that bring a smile to my face, she types out I miss you. She never sends it of course because it’s Kelley and she can never admit she is wrong but now I at least know how she’s feeling.

She finally types something after a few minutes that would’ve piss me off if I hadn’t been watching her attempt to text me what she would really like to say.

My phone buzzes and I already know it’s her.

Kelley 2:28pm: I’ll be in the library after practice so if you want to get this project over with then meet me. 

I want to hate Kelley I really do because I let myself be vulnerable with her but that was my mistake. Hope reminded me of why I was here and that feelings only complicate things.  This is just a mission that I need to get through and I don’t have room to let feelings fuck it up.

I need to stop acting like Alex and start acting like Alexandra.

*

Practice was simple scrimmaging since we have a game coming up so I didn’t see Kelley much and I hadn’t responded to that message wanting to have an upper hand.  I also didn’t really talk to Tobin much because I’m not sure what to do about her.

“Hey Lex wanna grab some dinner at this pizza place downtown with Cheney and A-rod?” Tobin comes up to me with that wide grin which makes it so difficult to ignore her.

“I’d love to but I have to work on a Project for my human behavior class.” I shrug trying to look apologetic.

“Alright cool I’ll try to save you some leftovers but no guarantees.”

“Oh how noble of you.” I shove her lightly and she decides to take it a step further by flailing herself into the lockers like I actually pushed her that hard. “You’re so dramatic.”

“You’re so abusive Lex.” Tobin grabs her arm pretending to be in pain, “I think I need to go to the ER.”

“You’ll live.” I smirk at her wondering how I got stuck with her.

“Well are you going to take care of me?” She arches her eyebrows, “I think I need a nurse.” Tobin says wrapping her arms around my waist pulling me into her.

“Are trying to ask me to play doctor with you Tobin?” I run my hands lightly up her arms resting them on her shoulders.

She hums in approval, “I think it’s only appropriate now that you injured my shoulder.”

“I’ll bring my stethoscope.” I whisper into her ear before kissing her cheek and pulling away, “I’ll see you later.”

“Such a tease.” I hear Tobin mutter but I can hear the light in her voice. The only light about this whole thing has been Tobin.

And I realize then that Tobin isn’t something I’m willing to give up.

*

I step into the library and it’s the first time that I have since I got here and it’s actually really nice. I look for Kelley but I don’t see her sitting where everyone else is so I decide to look around until she gets here.

I scroll up and down the aisles of books and towards the end is when I find Kelley. She is sitting at a table that’s secluded and it doesn’t surprise me. She would make it hard for me to find her and she would pick the farthest back table.

“Hey.” I say when I finally get up to her and she jumps a little at the sudden disruption.

“Oh hey.” She looks up and it feels awkward but I push through it because I know it’s important for us to get back to where we once were. “How long have you been here?”

“Came right after practice figured I would get a head start in case you didn’t show.” She shrugs looking back at her computer.

“Well it’s not like I would’ve left you hanging.”

“Alright well why don’t we get started? I made the table of contents for our paper so just take the last half and research and type it out.”

“Sounds good.” I reach into my bag and pull out the food I bought on my way here, “Here I got you those tacos you like from that place.

Kelley looks up for a moment studying the bag I handed to her and just stares at it. She tilts her head a little and then looks up at me.

“Why did you get me this?”

“Because I know you and I know you were going to forget to eat before you came here.” I offer her a small smile in hopes that this was the right direction we needed to take.

“I didn’t forget but thanks.” She offers a small smile back before looking back at her computer. She doesn’t touch the bag so I just busy myself with our project.

When I have my computer out and I start my research I see her reach for the bag slowly and pull it to her. I smile knowing she had forgotten but she just didn’t want to admit that I was right.

“Hungry?” I tease her wanting her to just admit that I was right.

“Not at all but wouldn’t want this to go to waste.” She says biting into her taco.

“Alright.” I shake my head looking back down at the computer. Kelley is so stubborn and it is one of her worst qualities by far.

We spend the next hour only talking when necessary and I start to grow annoyed. It doesn’t take long for us to finish our project because Kelley is a nerd and already had everything organized and laid out, all we had to do was type it up.

“Alright well we’re done so I’ll see you tomorrow at class.” Kelley gets up and that is it. She isn’t going to try to make up or be friends and I lose it.

“Are you serious Kelley?” I stand up blocking her exit, “That’s it? We’re just not going to be friends anymore, we’re never going to talk or hang out unless necessary? You know what you did was really fucked up and here I am looking like an idiot wanting to fix it and you just don’t care. Do you even know how to care about anyone?”

“I was ready to move past this until I realized that you and Professor Solo are fucking each other.” She throws it in my face icily.

“Wait what?” I shake my head pretending like I didn’t hear her right.

“I see how you look at her, and how she looks at you, and that she always asks you to stay after class. I saw you two arguing earlier today so don’t even try to deny it.”

“Because I’m failing Kelley.” I sigh pretending that is the cause of Hope and I’s relationship, “If I fail this class then Professor Solo won’t let me play soccer. I was arguing with her because if I don’t get my grades up then I can’t play on the team.”

“How can you be failing her class?” Kelley shakes her head incredulously. “Her tests are easy if you look at her PowerPoint’s and homework is simple.”

“Yeah well that involves actually looking at the PowerPoint’s and doing the homework.”

“Well start studying and doing your homework we need you on the team Alex. Don’t be dumb about this and not listen to her.” Clearly it worked because Kelley’s demeanor has changed.

“Who knew you cared.” I say going back to putting my bags together, “And you know what I can’t believe you think I would do something like that. How little do you think of me?”

“I was jealous.” I look up to Kelley and her face is no longer defensive, “I was jealous when I found out about Tobin and I reacted on it. I’ve never cared about my actions before until I saw the look on your face when you walked into the party but it was too late then the damage was done so I didn’t try to fix it.”

“I don’t get why you would be jealous of Tobin, Kelley. I was waiting for you at the restaurant not Tobin.” I didn’t think the conversation would turn so abruptly.

“Because you fucked Tobin not only behind my back but after you told me after Christen you weren’t going to just hook up with people. You could fuck Tobin but not-” Kelley looks away now but I know where she was going with this because I remember the conversation we had one day. In order to get her to stop making passes at me I told her I didn’t want to sleep around with just anyone and that I actually wanted a relationship. Complete bullshit but I knew she didn’t want that so I knew I had to go that route to get her to stop trying.

“You? I could sleep with Tobin but I didn’t sleep with you.”

“Well it sounds stupid when you put it like that.” Kelley looks away from me clearly embarrassed.

“Kelley I’m sorry for hooking up with Tobin behind your back but I just didn’t think you would really care. I just don’t want to lose you plus we both know you don’t want a relationship.”

“Neither does Tobin.”

“I just don’t want to get hurt and I know Tobin wouldn’t hurt me.”

“But I would?” I see the hurt in Kelley’s eyes but it’s the truth.

“I’m not sure but I know if I gave in to you that I would most likely get hurt and I don’t want to ruin this friendship again. You love to party, be free, hook up when you would like with who you would like, and I won’t be the one to try to pretend I can cage you or you’ll change for me.”

 I sound like such a hypocrite.

“What if I want to be caged by you?” She questions but I know it’s not sincere. Kelley will never be tied down.

“You don’t Kelley it’s not the person you are and that’s okay I just want my friend back.”

“I do too.” She smiles but it’s sad and I know I hurt her feelings but it is the truth. I can’t be with her because I’m not willing to lose sight of my assignment.

“Good now let’s go get milkshakes shall we?” I wrap my arm around her shoulder pulling her closer to me and kissing her on the forehead.

“You’re treat?” She looks at me innocently and I laugh thinking of how much of a child she reminds me of.

“Sure my treat.”

“Want to watch a movie at my dorm after?” She suggests falling right back into our friendship.

“Only if it’s not another chick flick.”

“Deal. Can we cuddle?” She looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

“The bare minimum of cuddling.”

“Score.” Kelley says enthusiastically causing me to burst into laughter.

*

We’re sitting on Kelley’s bed watching an older movie with Jennifer Lopez in it. Kelley has her head rested on my shoulder as she runs her fingers up and down my forearm and hand.

“Are you even paying attention to the movie?” I laugh when I look at Kelley.

“Not really.”

“What’s on your mind?” I ask her wanting to know why she looks so distracted.

“I’m sorry for hurting you.” She blurts out abruptly. “I regret not going to dinner with you that night because I feel like I blew my chance. I can’t let it go Alex because I’ve never regretted something before. All I can think about is maybe if I had gone then I’d be the one you fall asleep with at night not Tobin.”

“Kelley.”

“You looked beautiful that night, like hold my beer, let me catch my breath gorgeous.” I have to try really hard not to smile at that but her description was absolutely adorable. “I fucked up and I just want another chance.”

I don’t really know what to say to her because I didn’t know she would feel this way. I always thought it was a game for Kelley and I know some of it still is but now I can hear the sincerity in her voice. It isn’t laced with just desire but with something deeper than that.

“I can’t give you that chance right now. We just got back to this place and it’s only been less than a couple of hours.”

“What do I have to do to prove to you that I can be something you won’t regret?” She sounds desperate and it throws me completely off.

What would Alexandra do pops into my head and I shake the thought away not wanting to be that girl anymore.

“Prove to me that you won’t hurt me.” I shrug a little not really knowing the answer.

“I can do that.” And with that Kelley goes back to watching the movie and playing with my hand.

When the movie ends I get up to leave but she holds me down half asleep.

“Please stay with me.” She yawns a little.

“Kell I really should get back to my dorm.” I try to find an excuse.

“I know you should but you don’t have to Alex.” She looks up at me with these eyes that I know I can’t say no to, “Please just sleep here with me tonight. Just sleep that’s all I’m asking.”

“Fine.” I lay down letting her curl herself into me. She lets out a contented sigh nuzzling her nose into my shoulder.

“I missed the smell of you.” She says after a few moments. “I miss you Alex.”

I let her words sink in as I hear her breathing evening out, as I feel her body’s small movements against my own.  I don’t know how the hell I ended up cuddling with two girls today and for the first time the thought is overwhelming.

What am I getting myself into?


	5. Chapter 5

“Wake up.” I know Kelley was in my room as soon as she opened my door but I continued to pretend to sleep anyways. “Wake up Alex.”

I feel her climb into bed and lay on top of me, the weight feeling actually soothing to me. She puts her hands under my pillow to run them along my arms, giving me goose bumps.

“Now I know you’re not sleeping.”

“I figured if I waited long enough you’d give up and go.” I tease her and I feel the laughter against my body before I hear it.

“No giving up when it comes to you, remember?”

“Vaguely.” It’s only been two days since mine and Kelley’s talk but she has been trying ever since.

“Come on I want to take you to breakfast.”

“What time is it?”

“Almost five thirty.”

“Kelley go away no one wakes up this early.”

“I do now come on, grab some clothes.”

I do as Kelley says because I need our relationship to stay well intact and my curiosity is getting the better of me. I was just thankful that Tobin was sleeping in her own bed last night. We played FIFA last night on the play station Lauren has and she lost miserably.

I close my eyes once we get in Kelley’s car feeling too tired to talk or even be awake. I have never been able to fully fall asleep in cars ever since I was little. It doesn’t take long until we reach our destination though.

“Alex we’re here.”

When I open my eyes I realize we’re at the same beach she brought me to when we ran together that one morning.

“I didn’t know we could get here by car.” I said confused not remember any entrance to these trails.

“Yeah well you find your ways.” Kelley winks trying to keep the mystery alive. “Now let’s have breakfast.”

Kelley gets out of the car grabbing blankets from the back of her car and grabbing a huge bag from it as well. She places the blanket down and tells me to sit so I obey letting her set up. She grabs a little table from the back that only stands a couple inches high. She pulls out plates, silverware, cups, and napkins setting it up. Then she grabs a bag that has a thermos in it of coffee pouring me a cup. She gives me two creamers and three sugar packets.

“I know you like your coffee that way.” She shrugs shyly at me and I can’t help but feel an unfamiliar giddiness inside of me.

Kelley pulls out a container that you keep things heated in and opens it and I see she brought pancakes. She puts a couple on my plate as well as hers. The pulls out bacon and sausage which are my favorite and she gives me exactly what I get at breakfast. She pulls out syrup packets and ketchup packets. In a cooler she has she pulls out orange juice with extra pulp knowing it’s my favorite as well as fruit.

“Kelley did you do all this?” I ask amazed at how she remembered everything I liked.

“Yeah I bought it yesterday and cooked everything this morning.” She shrugged.

“This is amazing. Who knew you could cook.” I smile at her as I bite into a piece of bacon.

“I spent a lot of time in the kitchen with the cook at my house. He liked me so he let me hang around because I hated my nanny.”

“Well he taught you well then.”

We sat there for the next half an hour eating food and talking about the most random stuff. After we finished we cleaned up the mess and lie back down on the blankets.

“Thank you for breakfast Kell.” I want her to know how much I appreciate everything she has done for me.

“Alex I just…” Kelley turns to me on her side propping herself up on her elbow. She looks cute because I can tell she feels flustered with what to say. “I wanted you to know there would always be a morning after for us. Like I’ll always be there in the morning, I wouldn’t leave or hurt you, I’d be there to make you breakfast. So I guess I wanted to give you that morning after breakfast without even sleeping together. Wait that came out wrong what I’m trying to say is you’re worth the wait in so many ways, I just want to show you I can change and I can be someone you could be with.”

“Well bacon is definitely a good start.”

“You’re such an asshole sometimes.” Kelley laughs lying down next to me and wrapping her arm around my waist.

“Thank you for making the effort.” I kiss her forehead lightly. I’ve never had someone make me breakfast before. Kelley has made such an effort and I can’t help but feel something for her.

“You’re welcome.” Kelley starts to lean in and I wanted to fill the space between us. I lifted myself up on my elbow but as I did a sharp pain shot through my arm.

“Holy shit that hurt.” I reach under the blanket to find a rock. “This just hit my funny bone.”

“Yeah but look its heart shaped.” Kelley beams, “You have to keep it now.”

“Kell it is just a rock.” I laugh, “Why don’t you keep it so you can remember this lovely non-morning after breakfast.”

“Alright.” She takes the rock and puts it in her bag. I lay back down thanking that the moment ended. I find myself continually wanting to kiss Kelley but something always happens to interrupt it. I can’t get lost in the mission again, this is supposed to be an assignment, and I have to keep it that way.

*

We spent another hour together talking and joking around before heading back to campus. Kelley had an early class and I wanted at least another hour of sleep before wanting to function. When I walk into my dorm, Tobin is awake sitting at her desk typing what looks like a paper.

“What’s happening Tobs?” I smile waiting for her to turn around but she doesn’t. “Earth to Tobin.”

“How was your breakfast?” I hear the sadness in her voice and I can’t help but feel guilty now.

“Uh it was good.” I say hesitantly not sure how to play this one out.

“That’s good.” Tobin continues to type on her laptop and the noise mixing in with Tobin’s quietness is driving me insane.

“Tobin are you mad?”

“Yeah Alex you know what I am mad. Kelley treated you like shit but now it’s all fine and she is taking you to a spot she doesn’t take anyone. I know what she is doing so excuse me if I’m jealous.”

“You don’t have to be jealous Tobin.” I try to reason with Tobin but she just shakes her head.

“I know I don’t have to be.” Tobin finally looks at me and I can see the dark circles around her eyes. I see the innocence and hurt in them and I look away not wanting to meet that gaze any longer. If only I could explain to Tobin that I have to get close to Kelley.

“I’m sorry.”

“You know…” Tobin stands up abruptly, “Kelley always gets what she wants and it’s never been a problem for me before. I watch as she charms girls and gets them to like her. I watch her sleep with them and then leave them like they’re strangers. And I’ve been okay with letting her do whatever she wants with whomever she wants.”

“Tobin.” I try to cut her off to make her stop from leaving.

“But that’s because I’ve never wanted someone that she also wants.” Tobin’s look tells me everything I need to know, but she doesn’t wait to get my response.

*

“Yeah guys that was awesome!” Ashlyn shouts as we all enter the locker room.

“Press and Alex those goals were amazing tonight.” Sydney congratulates us.

“Let’s celebrate tonight.” Ali smiles through the teams’ excitement over the win. “Let’s all go out grab some dinner and go to that house party the Frats are throwing.”

“I would love to buy I have three exams tomorrow.” Lauren states sadly with A-Rod agreeing with her. They are the same major and they both always have homework, projects, or exams.

“You guys are boring.” Kelley smiles, “Come on who is in?”

Everyone cheers loudly but the last thing I want to do is party right now. I’m about to protest when Kelley walks over to Tobin throwing her arm around her shoulder.

“Tobs you in?”

“No I’m going to call it a night.”

“Come on Tobin we just won you assisted both of the goals tonight, you’re a champ and you need to celebrate.”

“Fine.” Tobin sighs but Kelley is too busy cheering in Tobin’s ear to realize that Tobin is definitely not in the mood for her.

I stand up to ask Tobin if she wants to go back to the dorms to shower so we can talk but Kelley blocks my path to Tobin.

“Lex are you coming out tonight?” Kelley asks me her voice changing in demeanor.

“Uh yeah Kell sure.”

“That was an awesome goal tonight; you looked really good out there. I’m excited for tonight.” I hear the undertone of Kelley’s words and when she finally moves out of my way I know Tobin does too.

“Tob-”

“Have fun tonight.” Tobin stands up walking out of the locker room.

I find myself stuck again trying to figure out what the hell I’m supposed to do with these two girls.

*

The frat house is dark but it’s different than any of the other ones we have gone to. Usually the team sticks together but tonight people were getting drunker than they should. Everyone was spread out doing their own thing and I find myself at the keg with Christen.

“Hey Chris nice job tonight.” I smile warmly at her not having the same effect I use to she smiles back not intimidated.

“Yeah you too.”

“So how’s everything going with you?”

“School sucks but everything else is actually going really well. How’s being in the middle of Kelley and Tobin?”

“I’m not in the middle.”

“Oh please I see how they both look at you. I just don’t know how you handle both of them especially being best friends.”

“I’m just friends with them.” I shrug because it’s true. Despite my feelings for Tobin and my potential feelings for Kelley I don’t plan on dating either of them.

“Do you sleep with all of your friends?” Christen smirks at me.

“What? No!”

“That must make me a best friend then.”

“Who knew you were a smart ass.” I smile at her because up until now I always thought she was quiet and innocent. I should’ve known any friend of Kelley is anything but that.

“Well if you ever get sick of those two just let me know.” Christen winks at me before turning around to walk away and I can’t tell if she is joking or serious but I can’t handle another girl. One is too many so having two is a killer and three would send me to my death bed.

“Hey Lex.” I hear Kelley’s voice ring happily over the music, “Will you come dance with me?”

“Kell I don’t think I’m up to dancing tonight.”

“Please just a couple of songs.” She pleads with me until I finally give in. Kelley pulls me to the dance floor and soon enough we’re moving to the music. Kelley doesn’t waste anytime pressing into the front of me and moving her hips to the point of driving me crazy. I let myself enjoy dancing with her because at least I know she is staying out of trouble.

After a few more songs she turns around wrapping her hands around my neck looking at me with those same eyes at the first party we ever went to.

I feel Kelley press her lips against my neck and I cant help let the moan escape. Being this close with her and feeling those lips that I have thought about often is going to make me lose my sanity.

“Kelley.” I say sternly not wanting to let this get too far. A sober Kelley is unpredictable so a drunk Kelley is a loose cannon.

“When are you going to kiss me Alex?” She looks at me seriously not breaking eye contact.

“Oh Kell you’re drunk.”

“That’s besides the point.” She slurs a little her fingers playing with my hair. “I always want you to kiss me but you never will. Why?”

“Because I want to know for sure that you’ve changed before I let myself fully trust you.”

“I’m going to show you Alex.” She says it confidently but I know it could be the alcohol talking. We dance for a little longer before Christen convinces her to be her pong partner.

I spend the next half hour or so talking to random people at the party and rejecting any drunk guy who comes up to me. I’m in the middle of talking to some guy about why he could never win the hunger games when I hear a familiar voice.

I look over and see Tobin of all people arguing with some guy who is getting in her face. She tries to move past him and she does I see her walk out but he won’t let her go so he follows her.

I start making my way over to them when I hear them arguing on the porch. There is no one outside but them except for me standing in the doorway.

“You’re drunk so just back off and let me go.”

“You will be lucky to dance with me so let’s just go inside and dance.” The guys words are slurred but there tells me something that he is acting a lot drunker than he actually is.

“Get off.” Tobin it pissed now and gives him a little shove. He grabs her arm tightly and pulls her back so she slaps in on reflex.

I see his hand rise but I get there quicker than his mind can even process what happens. The next thing he knows I have him on his stomach, my knee digging into his spine with his arm in a compromising position.

“What’s your name?” I spit the words out feeling my anger pulse through my veins. He tries to fight me off but he is no match for me.

“Jeff.”

“Well Jeff how nice to meet you now let’s get to the point did she ask you to let her go?” There was no answer from him but I feel him try to struggle so I bend his arm a little more until I hear him gasp in pain.

“Yes yes stop she did.”

“So why didn’t you let her go?” I added more pressure letting the rage take over.

“I don’t know I wanted to dance I’m sorry.”

“Are you sorry Jeff?” I pull on his arm and he yells out in pain. I faintly hear Tobin telling me that it is fine and to let him go but I can’t. “Let me tell you something Jeff if someone tells you no then that means no right?” He nods in agreement. “So if I told you that if I pull your arm any farther up it would dislocate it would you tell me not to do it?”

“Please don’t please.”

“Say it Jeff.”

“No please no.”

“See I didn’t do it because you said no and when someone means no that means you stop. Now Jeff lets discuss something else real quick shall we? You have time right? I mean you aren’t going anywhere obviously.” I can hear the change in my voice, the voice I perfected that use to scare grown men into confessing everything to me. “I saw you raise your hand were you going to hit her Jeff?”

“No I wasn’t I promise.”

“I don’t think your being honest with me Jeff.” I know he isn’t because everyone has a tell when they’re lying and his is obvious even being a complete stranger. “Tell me the truth.”

“Yes I was I’m sorry I don’t know what I was thinking.” I have seen millions of guys like him before all thinking they are this dominant gender who can treat people however they want.

“I do.” I do it swiftly feeling the shoulder pop out of its socket. I hear the scream pierce through my ears. I feel that familiar satisfaction I use to get with the feeling of justifying someone’s wrong doings.

“Alex what the fuck?” I hear her panicked voice but the adrenaline is pumping through my veins now and I almost feel a certain high.

“He deserved it.” I look down at Jeff who is holding his shoulder and crying.

“You just dislocated his shoulder.” Tobin looks at me wide eyed and scared almost. That’s what starts to calm me down is the look in her eyes. I step towards her and she backs away slightly, and I start to reevaluate the situation.

“Tobin he was going to slap you and he wouldn’t let you go.” I try to explain to her but she just keeps shaking her head.

“That doesn’t mean you stoop to his level and hurt him.” I hear the accusation coming towards me which pisses me off.

“Fine.” I walk over to where Jeff has started scooting away from me. “Oh come here stop being a baby.” I make him sit up, I tell him to breathe with me and he does as I say, “This is going to hurt so on the count of three. Ready?” Jeff nods. “Alright one.” I don’t finish I just pop it back into place and I think he may pass out but luckily all he does is scream a little more.

I back away from here to look at Tobin who is looking at me like I’m some type of alien.

“There are you happy?” I turn around to walk away then mostly because I’m pissed but I feel embarrassed. I feel a little ashamed for letting my anger get out of control, for dislocating a kid’s shoulder, and the look of fear Tobin gave me.

I hear footsteps following me but I don’t bother to look back.

“Alex can you wait?” I hear Tobin but I don’t want to wait I just want to get back to campus. Luckily it’s only a ten minute walk and the closer I get the better I can breathe. How could I let myself get to that place again? I haven’t been that way in a long time and I hate that I did.

I find a bench that’s in the middle of one of the courtyards and sit down wanting to process everything from tonight.

“Alex.” Tobin says sitting next to me but I don’t know how to respond or want to answer questions. “Alex? You okay?”

“I don’t know are you going to keep acting like I’m the bad guy?” I turn to her to give her a stony glare.

“I’m sorry you just kind of caught me off guard with…I’ve never seen that side of you, you uh, you were using this voice, and then you just dislocated his shoulder. I don’t even know how you know how to do that. It was a little hard to take in.”

“I put it back into place.” I scoff which gets a smile from Tobin.

“Where did you learn to dislocate people’s shoulders?”

“Oh you know just took a class in high school that specifically taught you how to. You’re high school didn’t offer it?”

“Come on Alex be serious for a second. I want to know how.”

“I had a rough past Tobin. I was taught how to defend myself and that was something I learned. I’m sorry if it freaked you out I just got so angry when he wouldn’t let you go. Then when I saw him raise his hand to you I lost it.”

“You’re like my knight in shining armor.” Tobin cracks a big smile and I feel my anger completely disappear. “Where’s your steed?”

“Shut up.” I laugh but the anger inside of me is still trying to simmer.

“Well I guess I appreciate what you did but don’t do it again please. I thought I was going to get sick watching that.”

“Alright I won’t I’m sorry.” I try to switch the conversation not wanting Tobin to think about me dislocating someone’s shoulder, “Listen Tobin I know you were mad at me and I just want to-”

“Alex you don’t have to explain yourself.”

“No but I do. I like spending time with you Tobin and I really enjoy the stuff we do together. I haven’t done anything like that with Kelley. I promise.”

“I know you haven’t but Kelley has a tendency to get what she wants.” Tobin lightly touches my cheek with her fingertips, “But that doesn’t mean I won’t fight for you.”

She kisses me then and I feel the urgency in the kiss. Soon enough I find Tobin straddling each side of me, the kiss igniting something inside us both and we feed off of it. We don’t go further than kissing but I have never felt closer to someone than I do with Tobin now.

It all ends too soon when Tobin’s phone goes off and she’s reaching in her pocket to answer it.

“Hello? Yeah Chris listen this is kind of a bad time…wait where? She did what? Again? Here we go. No I’ll be there. Yeah we’re coming.”

“What was that about?” I ask Tobin and she just sighs heavily before getting off of the bench.

“Kelley.”

I follow Tobin as we walk back to the party and as we get there I see Kelley standing there with Chris. They both look completely gone and Kelley is screaming at some guy. We reach them in time to get the gist of what’s going on.

“Dude I can’t help it if she wants me.”

“Don’t fucking touch my girlfriend ever again do you hear me?” The guy is bigger than Kelley but the way Kelley is standing I can tell she has been holding her own.

“Listen friend your girlfriend came up to me started dancing with me and kissed me. I can’t help it if she wants this instead of this.” I see Kelley look over at a girl standing on the porch steps smiling at her. Kelley gives her a wink. So that must be the girlfriend.

“I’m warning you.”

“Alex step in.” Tobin looks at me and I give her a little glare.

“You sure this time?”

“Well don’t hurt anyone just mediate please. Kelley’s going to get her ass kicked.”

I nod at Tobin before walking up to Kelley’s side.

“What’s going on here?”

“This dude is jealous because I made out with his girlfriend like whatever get over it.” Kelley doesn’t realize it’s me until she turns her face to me with that stupid smug look on her face. “Alex? Oh shit.”

“Yeah oh shit is right. Now why don’t you apologize to this guy for kissing his girlfriend and we can get home.” Kelley continues to look at me for a while her eyes turning into those puppy dog eyes that she thinks works, not on me, and definitely not tonight.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say it to me say it to him.”

“I’m sorry that your girl thinks I’m hot and wanted to make out alright?”

“Good enough?” I ask the guy who doesn’t really seem to know what to do at this point. He mumbles something but none of us hear it before he goes back to his girlfriend. I turn back to Kelley and then to Christen who both look like they’re guilty.

“We’re going home so move it.” I tell them both sternly and they comply like they’re little kids.

“She is kinda scary when she’s mad.” Christen says to Kelley when we start walking.

“I think it’s kind of hot.” Kelley says back to Christen like I can’t hear their conversation. “Do you think she will stay the night if I play my cards right?”

“I don’t know Kell she seems kind of pissed at you.”

“Nah I just throw on my O’Hara charm and it should be good.” Kelley says cockily which just pisses me off even more.

“Dude she can hear you, you idiot.” Tobin looks back at both of them shaking her head.

“Alex are you mad at me?” Kelley asks quietly.

“No I’m not mad.”

“Really?” Kelley says hopeful.

“No because this doesn’t surprise me, this is how you are, it’s not like you’ve changed or anything.” I look back giving her the best glare that I can. I know Kelley is drunk but that doesn’t mean I’m not upset at what she did because I am. I knew Kelley couldn’t change but I still had slight hope inside of me that maybe she would.

“Oh shit Kell you’re in the dog house.” Christen says loudly laughing to herself.

“Shut it Chris.” Kelley mumbles her mood completely changing now. “I need food this alcohol is partying too hard in my stomach and starting to make me feel nauseous.”

“You’re probably nauseous because you almost got your ass kicked by some guy.” Tobin teases Kelley.

“Tobin where were you tonight?”

“Well some douchebag wouldn’t leave me alone so Alex put the beat down on him.” Tobin said proudly.

“Alex you beat someone up?” Kelley laughs loudly. We’re walking in the courtyard where Tobin and I were just sitting when I hear a voice from behind us.

“Miss Morgan and Miss O’Hara.” Hope says and we all turn around quickly. “And Miss Heath and Miss Press. What could you possibly be doing at this time of night?”

“Uh.” Is all the other three can muster up. Everyone is intimidating by Hope because she is a teacher. If only they knew the things she has done in her lifetime, then they would have a reason to be scared.

“Just taking a stroll.” I give her a look to back off but I know she won’t.

“Really? All I see right now is four collegiate athletes drunk.” Hope says accusingly. “Isn’t that right Miss O’Hara?”

“Professor Solo may I have a word with you?” Hope nods her head and we walk away from the group before Kelley can embarrass herself.

“What is this some Sex and the City bullshit? You’re supposed to be preventing her from doing dumb stuff not doing it with her.”

“Listen nothing bad is happening and she is nineteen she is going to party it isn’t a big deal Hope.”

“Alex I just heard that she almost got beat up by a guy and you beat up another one? What did you do?”

“Nothing.”

“Tell me.” Hope’s voice fills with authority, an authority that I have always had to succumb to.

“I dislocated a kid’s shoulder okay? He was about to hit Tobin so I taught him a lesson.”

“What is wrong with you?” Hope raises her voice and when I look behind me everyone is staring at us wide eyed.

“I don’t know what came over me Hope. I just snapped, I could feel the anger taking over, and when I dislocated it I felt really good. It was like-”

“Like when we use to interrogate people. The agency programmed us to feel exhilarated and almost euphoric when we got our victims to tell us valuable information. We also learned over the years are good it felt when we brought justice to all of the assholes we met. This isn’t the agency though Alex and something like that could get you expelled.”

“I don’t want to be how I was.”

“Then why are you here? If you don’t want the life of being an agent and the duties we have to fulfill then why are you wasting your time here?” Hope’s questions struck something deep inside of me, something that I have been holding onto for a long time.

“Because I owe it to Abby.” I look away not wanting to meet Hopes eyes. I never want to talk about Abby and saying her name is like trying to breathe when all of the air is being sucked away from you.

“You know Abby only wanted what was best for you. She cared about your happiness more than she scared about how amazing you were as an agent.”

“Hope I don’t want to talk about this. I’m sorry for letting her get drunk but I can’t control how she acts all I can do is watch and make sure she is safe. You just need to trust me.”

“I do trust you just watch her Alex because I feel like there is something about this girl that isn’t right okay?”

“Okay.” I nod not wanting to talk any longer. We walk back over to the girls who are standing there looking completely dumbfounded.

“Ladies, Miss Morgan informed me that this was an isolated incident and I won’t be seeing this happen again. Is she right or do I need to talk to Coach Rampone tomorrow?”

“She’s right.” They all say in unison bowing their heads.

“Alright get to your dorms and stay there.” Hope gives me a quick knowing glance before turning around and walking away from us.

“Holy shit that was terrifying.”

“She freaks me out.”

“If you guys didn’t get so drunk we probably would’ve been fine.”

“You’re drinking too Tobin don’t act like its our fault.”

“It is your fault, you have a huge mouth.”

“Do we need to settle this outside?”

“You’re such an idiot.” Tobin laughs.

“Guys lets just get back to the dorms?” I start walking ahead of all of them. My mind is racing with thoughts that I have tried so hard to surppress. I feel the guilt gnawing its way to the surface and I feel my vision begin to blur a little.

“Hey you okay?” Tobin asks me quietly but all I can do is nod.

“What’s wrong with her?” I hear Christen try to whisper. I don’t want to hear the pity in their voices even if they think I’m upset for a different reason.

I walk ahead of the rest until we get to Kelley and Christens dorm room. I go to the vending machine and get them some snacks and water. When I bring them back Christen and Tobin aren’t in the room anymore.

“Where did they go?” I ask Kelley who is standing waiting for me.

“Tobin went back to your dorm room and I asked Christen to go to the bathroom so I could talk to you.” Kelley steps towards me, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on Alex I know you better than that.” I obviously can’t tell her about Abby, what happened a year ago, and the never ending guilt that I feel so I turn it on her.

“You made out with another girl tonight.” I feel my voice rise and I step closer to her, “You told me you wanted to prove to me that you’d change and not even three days later you’re kissing another girl.”

“Alex it was just an innocent kiss.”

“Then kiss as many fucking girls as you want but stop pretending like you were actually going to try and be different for me.”

“What do you want from me?” Kelley raises her voice back now, “I have been trying, I made you breakfast this morning.”

“Yeah and then not even twenty four hours later you are making out with some random girl. You can’t change because our conversation at the party obviously doesn’t mean anything.”

“Yes it did.”

“No it didn’t Kelley. That is why I won’t kiss you because I can’t trust you to not kiss anyone else. I think it would be best if we just stayed friends.”

“I don’t want to just be friends with you.”

“And I don’t want you to keep being a disappointment.” I know my words are harsher than they should be but I can’t help but try to pour my guilt onto her. And it works because I see the tears start to form in her eyes. “Look I’m sorry but you just don’t know how to be with someone. I don’t want anything in that sense from you anymore, I just want to be friends. Can we do that Kell?”

She nods and I know when she completely turns away from me that she’s crying. I walk up to her and kiss her lightly on the back of the head.

“I’m sorry.” I walk out of the dorm room not wanting to see Kelley upset. Kelley can’t settle down for one person and I knew that so I shouldn’t have gotten so angry. I can’t let her control my emotions anymore, I need to stay focused in this mission, so I can get back into the agency, and prove to Abby that I wasn’t wrong.

I owe it to her to show her that her walking into the building that day wasn’t for nothing.


	6. Chapter 6

An unknown number texted Kelley a little before six and I’ve been following her for over an hour now. Over the last week I’ve been keeping continuous tabs on her phone activity and I think Hope was right. Kelley is hiding something but I’m just not sure what it is yet. I screen shot anything that seems suspicious and have been piling it together for evidence.

I see Kelley pull into a warehouse that looks extremely questionable so I park across the street and wait until she is inside in order to make my move. I enter the dark building trying to keep my footsteps light so I’m not heard. When I finally hear voices I stay put not wanting to risk being seen.

“You told me my order would be here last week Frank so where the fuck is it?” I hear Kelley spit out viciously.

“Kel-.”

“Don’t say my name we have fucking talked about this. Just tell me where my order is.”

“There were issues with the delivery and I uh well I don’t have it.”

“Why don’t you have it?”

“There were issues with the delivery guy we had to have him taken care of. We found out he was stealing from our trucks so we have to get the stuff back but we are taking care of it.”

“How am I supposed to distribute if I don’t have anything to give out tell me that Frank.”

“I’m sorry I will get it to you by the end of the week I promise.”

“You have until Wednesday.” I hear footsteps but they stop as soon as the man speaks.

“What about the money?” He says desperately.

“You’re not seeing any money until I get my entire order and it better be right Frank or we will have bigger issues than some kid stealing from you.”

“I need the money to put in for a next order. If you need more then we have to continue ordering or the suppliers won’t give you a deal.”

“I’ve already spent thousands of dollars and haven’t even gotten my order. I can find another supplier on my own without you so fucking fix it Frank. Here is a thousand and I better have my stuff soon. I have no problem getting rid of you and you’ll make sure to remember that.”

I hear angry footsteps then so I duck behind a bin in the corner where I was standing. Kelley walks out and Frank follows shortly after. I decide to stay back to process what I just heard. I want to know who this Frank is so I decide to follow him instead. As soon as I seem him speed off I call hope.

“Alex.”

“I need you to look up a California license plate for me. It’s PDZ 3578.”

“Hold on.” I hear Hope get up and her typing away at her computer.

“It’s registered under a Franklin Pazzario.”

“I need a background check on him and a current address.”

“Will do.”

“Thanks.” I hang up the phone and make my way to my car needing to get back to school in time for my next class. I pull out and get half way back to school when I hear my phone go off.

“Hello.”

“Hey Lex what are you up to?” Kelley’s voice is much lighter than it was a few seconds ago.

“Not much just heading back to school I had a few errands to run.” Oh just spying on you because you’re being fucking sketchy. “What about you?”

“Oh just getting some food nothing really too exciting.” Another lie made by the amazing Kelley O’Hara. I wonder if her friends know what she is doing.

“I see.”

“Anyways do you want to hang out tonight I think we’re all going to go out to wing night. We’re going to drink beforehand if you’re in.”

“Sounds great.”

“Alright I’ll see you later.” She hangs up as I pull into the parking lot.

I thought Kelley was just a very eccentric girl who partied too much but now I’m thinking there is something more to her.

*

I walk into my dorm to see Tobin in shorts and a sports bra with heels on in mid walk but stumbles when she looks quickly at the door and ends up falling on her knees.

“Shit.” She mutters angrily and I do everything not to laugh.

“Tobs what are you doing?”

“Nothing.” She mumbles as she pulls the shoes off throwing them in her closest.

“Were you just practicing walking in heels?” I ask curious as to what she was doing.

“No.” She doesn’t look at me as she pretends to organize her desk. I know she must be embarrassed so I spare her and don’t press further.

I walk over to her wrapping my arms around her waist pulling her closer to me. I kiss her shoulder until I feel her relax. She places her hands on my arms leaning into me.

“I missed you this morning.” She breaks the comfortable silence.

“I know I had some errands I had to run.” I kiss her shoulder again loving the way her skin feels against my lips.

“And what errands would that be?”

“Can’t tell ya it’s a secret.” I say trying to sound teasing so she doesn’t push forward.

“Such a mystery.” Tobin teases back.

“Yeah right I don’t think so at all.”

“You’re right I have you all figured out. It’s unfortunate because I only hang out with girls who keep me guessing.” I already know Tobin is smiling thinking that she is the funniest person ever.

“Well in that case I guess I shouldn’t show you what’s in that bag.” I whisper in her ear. She turns slightly to look at the bag on my bed that’s from Victoria Secret.

“Did I say only hang out with girls who keep me guessing? What I meant was I only hang out with girls who don’t keep me guessing is what I meant.”

“That’s unfortunate because I’m not telling you what’s in the bag.” I smile against her neck. In retaliation she wraps her arms around me squeezing my butt with both hands.

“Well I guess I’ll just find out for myself.” She darts towards the bag but not in time to look inside. We wrestle for the bag until we’re both laughing and can’t breathe.

“Stop being immature.” I push her away taking the bag and standing up. I open the bag and its empty which receives an extremely confused look from Tobin. That’s when I pull off my jeans and the sweater I was wearing to reveal the corset and underwear I had bought yesterday. Tobin’s eyes go wide as her mouth falls open.

“Holy shit.” She breathes out shaking her head in disbelief.

“I thought you deserved something for that amazing cross you gave me on Saturday’s game.” Tobin had made the crucial pass that lead to me scoring the winning goal against North Carolina in our game on Saturday. I thought she deserved something for her amazing game and really because of how amazing she always is to me.

Kelley and I still hang out but we don’t push the subject of being together after she made out with that girl. I knew the talk we had wasn’t going to change anything and she seemed content with how things were. I know Hope said to stay away from Tobin but I can’t. We room together and frankly I hate being away from her.

“You look amazing Alex.” Tobin says still looking shocked but having no trouble running her hands around my waist. I kiss her then wanting to feel the relief I get from her lips. I feel the calmest, but most exhilarated from Tobin. It is the biggest contradicting of feelings but I crave it and I know Tobin does too.

Tobin picks me up placing me on my desk as she deepens our kiss. We continue to kiss, Tobin only breaking away when she wants to admire my outfit or lack thereof. Finally after my breath is no longer there I pull away for air.

“I think it’s time to take this off.”

“Wait I need my phone.”

“For what Tobin?” I ask annoyed wondering why she would need it right now.

“So I can take a picture.” She says it like it’s the most obvious thing and I can’t help but laugh and shake my head at how ridiculous she is.

I stand up walking over to her wrapping my arms around her neck.

“I already did.” I whisper to her not wanting to waste any more time.

“You’re incredible.” Tobin says before kissing me, a smile present against my lips.

“I know. Now get this off of me.”

*

The thing about sleeping is I never fully get to sleep. I’ve been trained to hear every noise, to feel every movement, so when Tobin’s phone goes off I wake up for it. I don’t move or show that I’m awake because I don’t want her to feel bad for her phone going off.

“Hello?” She says groggy from sleep.

“Um its 5:20am where are you? I’m waiting.” I hear the distinct voice on the other end.

“Oh shit I forgot to set my alarm. I’ll be down I just have to sneak out.”

“You’re in her bed aren’t you?” I hear the accusation and threat in Kelley’s voice.

“Dude no relax I’m coming.”

Tobin tries to maneuver herself off of the bed without making too much movement. I hear her scribbling something down on a piece of paper and then slowly making her way out.

I find a note next to my phone that says Tobin couldn’t sleep so she went for a morning jog with Kelley. Thinking of Kelley and how sketchy this whole thing is I go to the app that lets me look at her phone.

I scroll through the texts and that’s when I see the unknown number again last night texting Kelley to meet at that same abandoned warehouse from earlier.

What surprises me most is the conversation from Kelley and Tobin.

Kelley 9:17pm: Tobin I need you tomorrow at 5:30am.

Kelley 9:21pm: Tobin you told me you would come do this deal with me now text me back so I don’t have to involve someone else.

Kelley 9:26pm: Text me back Tobin or I will barge through your door and pull you out of playing house with Alex.

Tobin 9:27pm: Chill Kell I’ll be up and ready. Why couldn’t this deal happen later in the day?

Kelley 9:28pm: He is leaving town to get the rest of my stuff that that delivery guy stole so now is the only time and you promised me you would help me. Who cares how early it is? We always go early in the morning.

Tobin 9:28pm: I know but it could be hard to sneak out of my room. Alex is a light sleeper.

Kelley 9:31pm: Can’t tire her out like you use to do with me? ;)

Tobin 9:35pm: Very funny

Kelley9:36pm: Come spend the night here, we can hang out, sleep or not sleep, and then we can go tomorrow morning. We haven’t hung out in forever anyways.

Tobin 9:45pm: I can’t leave now I already told her I’d watch a movie with her but can I get a rain check?

Kelley 9:52pm: Alright but you owe me.

Tobin 9:53pm: Fine by me:)

The noticeable feeling is back in my stomach that I haven’t felt since Kelley ditched me at dinner. Never once did I think Tobin would be the cause of that feeling.

Why is Tobin being sketchy with Kelley?

What is Kelley buying?

And why the fuck are they still talking about hooking up?

*

I follow Kelley’s car shortly after making sure that they don’t notice me. They walk into the building and I give them ten minutes before I walk in.

“Where is he?” Tobin asked looking extremely nervous.

“Relax Tobin I need you to look badass that’s why I brought you.”

“Shouldn’t you have brought like Ashlyn then?” Tobin suggested knowing how strong and well badass Ashlyn acts.

“Just put this in your pants pocket in case he tries to scam us again.” Kelley pulls out a gun then and I do everything not to gasp loudly or go in there and kick the shit out of both of them.

“I hate how fucking sketchy this always is.” Tobin shakes her head but takes the gun anyways.

That’s when Frank walks in through the other entrance with a huge duffel bag in his hands.

“So Frank do you finally have my stuff? That was a pretty fast deal considering it’s only been 24 hours.” The voice that Kelley uses makes me skin crawl.

“Yeah well I don’t take your warnings lightly.” He says bluntly. He places the bag on the floor and steps back a little. “Most of its there so you should be good until next week.”

Kelley nods to Tobin who grabs the duffel bag and brings it over to where Kelley is standing. Tobin and Kelley quickly go through the bag but I can’t see what is in it.

“See Frank it doesn’t work that way, does it T?” Really? She calls her T? These girls are idiots.

“No KO it doesn’t.”

“See Frank I do bulk orders so I can’t give this out until I have all of it. You know how kids these days are impatient and if one gets some then others have to as well? Get me my fucking stuff Frank by Wednesday.”

“I will.” He nods curtly, “Pleasure as always ladies.”

“Grab the stuff Tobs.” Kelley says once Frank is out of the building.

“You know Kell I can’t keep doing this.” Tobin sighs, “I love helping you I really do and I know why you’re doing it. I think that it’s awesome but the way you’re doing it, is just, just stupid.”

“I’m aware Tobin but I have to do it this way or my dad will find out.” Kelley looks away uncomfortably and the vulnerability is barely there.

“Hey now.” Tobin says grabbing her face, “Cheer up, why don’t we go back to your dorm and get in some hardcore cuddling?”

“Sounds good.” Kelley smiles lightly and my skin boils.

I shouldn’t be surprised by now that there are secrets worse between these two than I thought. Now I know how important it is to shut off these feelings and to do my job. I think this is more than just babysitting now.

*

I don’t go back to the dorm not wanting to be in our dorm room any longer so I go to the only person I feel like I can trust.

I don’t bother knocking on her door so I just pick the lock and enter like I have done millions of times to unsuspecting people. I hear the shower running so I know she couldn’t possible hear me. I wait for her to get out of the shower and when I hear the water shut off I get into position. There is no reason this can’t turn into a test, we use to always test each other to make sure we stayed on our game. We made a lot of enemies doing what we did so we always had to stay prepared.

I hear the door open and light footsteps following any second now, I see her tan skin underneath her tank top and I lunge forward pushing her in the back before I wrap my arm around her throat. We push back and forth and she ends up slamming my back into the wall. My vision blurs from the impact of my head slamming against it. I faintly hear glass shattering and the next thing I know she flips me over, the wind getting knocked out of me, and has a broken piece of glass to my throat. I can feel the sting of the glass breaking through skin as she starts to slide it across my throat and the look in her eyes is distant. I’ve seen that look before and I know if I don’t break her concentration then she will kill me. I grab her wrist trying to stop her but I already feel the burning sensation and pain coming from the glass.

“Hope it’s me.” I feel her apply more pressure. “Hope snap out of it, it’s me.”

I see her expression soften a little as her eyes thaw from the cold rage that was emanating from them. The pressure leaves my neck and she sits back on her heels.

“Alex?”

“Well hello to you too.” I say standing up fixing my shirt. She stands up and before I know it she backhands me across the face. “What the fuck Hope?”

“I could’ve killed you.” She yells her voice like venom seeping into the air. Hope has always had a bad temper but there were moments when she would completely black out. We got into some dangerous things and I saw her do things to people that still haunt me in my sleep. Never once has she ever turned on me before though.

“Don’t be dramatic.”

“Don’t be stupid Alexandra.” She steps towards me trying to gain dominance, “You can’t just sneak up on someone like that and expect nothing bad to happen.”

“We used to do it all the time.” I counter back but it doesn’t hold much argument.

“Things have changed we both know that.” I can hear the sadness in her voice. When everything fell apart at the agency I left without saying goodbye to anyone, especially Hope. I blamed her for what had happened but after months of solitude and going over and over my old case I realized how at fault I was for it. It was almost an entire year before the captain had Servando find me.

“It is fine just a little cut.” I shrug not wanting to let her know that the mark on my neck feels like it is on fire.

“Let me see it.” She lifts my chin examining the incision. “Does it hurt? I didn’t mean to go that deep or drag it that far.”

“Nothing I can’t handle.” I shrug her off not wanting to continue to focus on the cut. “I came here for a reason so do you have time to talk.

I recount everything I had witnessed between Kelley and Frank, and everything with the second meeting including Tobin.

“So you didn’t get a look at what was in the bag?”

“No it was way too dark and they were blocking my view. If you had heard the way they were talking Hope, it just seems bad.”

“Well I did the research on the guy who owns that car. His names Franklin Pizzario, was in and out of juvie, then about seven years ago he entered into a black market of sorts, selling anything and everything, he was arrested and charged with grand larceny, even did four years in prison for it. He has been under the radar for the past couple years though.”

“Nothing about drug charges or anything?”

“No but that doesn’t exactly mean he hasn’t entered a new market to be in. Just watch them, I want you to follow her for Friday, somehow intercept that bag if you can.”

“Alright will do.”

“Alex?” Hope calls after me.

“If this turns into something with drugs I’m going to have to turn it over to the agency. You know that right?”

“Sure thing.” I shake my head as I leave her apartment. It’s ridiculous to even think they can handle this better than I could.

*

All I want to do is go to my dorm and fall asleep til practice but when I walk into my dorm room. Kelley, Ashlyn, Ali, Tobin, and Lauren are all in an animate conversation and all I want to do is tell them all to leave.

“Hey Alex.” Lauren smiles warmly at me, “We were wondering where you were.”

“Just running some errands.” I shrug, Tobin moves over on the bed for me to sit down but I go to mine instead plopping down. My neck hurts and entertaining guests is the last thing I want to do. Tobin looks at me worriedly but I ignore her gaze.

“Lex I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind staying after practice and maybe shooting around a little bit on me?” Ashlyn asks and at this point soccer sounds amazing right now.

“Yeah definitely.”

“What? Why are you asking her and not me?” Kelley interrupts pretending to be offended.

“You just told me you and Tobin had plans tonight.”Ashlyn counters back.

“It would’ve been nice to be asked.”

“Kelley do you wanna do some shooting after practice?” Ashlyn humors her.

“Can’t I have stuff to get done with Tobs.” She smiles innocently and everyone erupts in laughter. I realize then how much of a headache I have from getting slammed to the floor.

“Alex you okay?” Ali breaks through the noise, “You’re not looking so good.”

“Just tired.” I try to smile but I know it doesn’t reach my face. Everyone picks up on it but its Kelley who comes over to me.

“What’s wrong?” She mouths to me but I just shake my head dismissing her. Sydney, Kristie, and A-rod walk in then and I pray that I become deaf. Everyone’s attention turns to the story that Sydney is telling but I just tune it out.

“You sure you’re okay?” Kelley asks concerned.

“Yeah just really tired.” I shrug but Kelley’s eyes don’t leave mine. That’s when I see her notice something and I know it’s the cut on my neck.

“What happened?” She lifts my chin up but this time it sends a shiver through my body unlike Hopes prior touch.

“Nothing.” I whisper back feeling exhausted and that’s when I realize I think I have a concussion.

“Guys you want to go grab lunch?” Kelley calls out to everyone and they all happily agree. They all file out of the room except for Tobin and Kelley and I can’t help but find this ironic.

“You okay Lex?” Tobin asks worried.

“Yes.” I look away from her, her lying to me has me angrier than anything else.

“Uh Tobs why don’t you go get something to eat and I’ll meet up with you?” Kelley picks up on my mood and Tobin grudgingly obeys.

“If you need anything text me?” Tobin says to me but all I do is nod.

“Why is it I find you battered and bruised more than I find you healthy?” Kelley says accusingly once Tobin is out of the room.

“Just lucky I guess.”

“Talk to me Lex you can trust me.” The look in Kelley’s eyes makes me want to strangle her.

“Can I?” I let it slip before I can stop myself instantly scolding myself.

“What? Of course you can.”

“Yeah because you’ve really kept your word this entire time.” I shake my head trying to switch the conversation.

“I still mean every word of it. I want you to give me a chance but you chose to want to stay friends so we are.”

“You’re never going to change or settle down or you wouldn’t have made out with that girl at the party.” I raise my voice.

“What about you and Tobin.” She counters back angrily.

“What about us Kelley? Does it really matter at this point? You guys minus well go back to sleeping together if you already haven’t.” I turn around then feeling myself really becoming mad now.

“Alex.” I hear Kelley try to come up with something to say but none of her excuse must sound good enough in her head. “You know what? No do not turn this around on me Alex because you know what? This is your fault too. You hook up with Tobin all the time I’m sure but you get mad at me for making out with a girl? I haven’t slept with anyone in forever but you’re fucking my best friend. You’re a hypocrite you know that? You were never going to be with me.” I hear her scoff. “Were you? You never had feelings for me. I’m heading out see you later.”

“Kelley.” I turn around but the door has already shut and she was already gone. “Fuck.”

*

I go to bed that night but I know Tobin came back to the room later that night. I heard her call my name lightly to see if I was awake but after I didn’t respond she just went into her own bed.

I wake up early trying to avoid her until I know what to say to her. I’m so mad at her for lying, sneaking around, and how she talked about hooking up with Kelley again. I’m hurt because I didn’t expect this from Tobin and I’m proved wrong again.

I get dressed so I can get an early breakfast and head to class but I hear Tobin stir awake.

“Morning Lex.” Tobin yawns.

“Good morning.” I don’t pay any attention to her as I finish getting dressed.

“Where are you going so early?” She asks standing up and hugging me from behind.

“Breakfast and the library.” I shrug bending down to push her off of me. I can’t look at her and feeling her against me is just too much to handle.

“Wait are you mad at me?” Tobin asks concerned.

“No.” I hear the iciness in my voice and I know she picks up on it because she grabs my waist trying to turn me around.

“Alex please tell me what I did wrong.” I look at her then her face is completely dumbfounded and concerned. “What did I do?”

“I don’t know Tobin you tell me. What did you do that could possibly make me mad?” I glare at her and she squirms uncomfortably.

“I don’t know Lex please tell me.”

 “What is going on with you and Kelley?” I let my anger out on Tobin because I am angry at her and she isn’t my assignment so I can yell at her, “Tell me why you’re sneaking off with her in the morning and why you guys are fucking again?”

“I, well, no Lex, hey wait.” Tobin grabs my arm, “Listen I can explain all of it will you just let me?”

“Go for it.”

“Kelley needed me that morning to help her with something and before you ask me what it is, don’t because I will not tell you. It is something that Kelley will have to tell you if she wanted to. I’m sorry that is vague and sketchy. And I am definitely not hooking up with Kelley, Alex. I do admit that I did go to her dorm after and we did cuddle but she is my best friend. Yes she jokes sometimes about hooking up but that is all it is, is a joke. We use to watch movies and have sleepovers all the time without even having sex. Kelley is a cuddler and we did that a lot of the time because it helped her when she was upset. We aren’t hooking up again I promise you.”

I know Tobin is telling the truth and I can’t help but feel stupid for blowing up at her. She hesitantly wraps her arms around my waist and I let her because despite her and Kelley being sketchy, Tobin didn’t lie to me.

“I’m sorry.” I mumble out wrapping my arms around her neck.

“It’s okay.” Tobin kisses me lightly, “I like when you get jealous.”

“I wasn’t jealous Tobin I was just…a little unhappy.” I try to come up with a better excuse and Tobin just laughs at me.

“I told you I wouldn’t hook up with her again if you didn’t want me to and I haven’t. I like hanging out Lex and I wouldn’t change that.” Tobin smiles and I can’t help but feel relieved about everything.

“Well good. Now you owe me a night of sleeping in different beds.” I kiss her letting my relief show.

“I think I can do that.” Tobin says against my lips and I know we won’t be making it to breakfast.

*

I spent most of the day with Tobin on Thursday not giving Kelley much thought. I know it’s Friday so I have to make sure I know exactly where Kelley is at all times. Luckily the girls’ soccer team was invited to a frat party that we will all be attending tonight.

“Lex I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out to dinner and a movie with me tomorrow night after our game?” Tobin asks me as I finish straightening my hair.

“Yeah sure.” I smile at her through the mirror so she can see me.

“I mean like on an actual date.” I see her look away from the mirror and start to fidget. I turn my straightener off and walk over to Tobin.

“I would love to go on a date with you Tobin.” The look of surprise and happiness on Tobin’s face is quickly becoming one of my favorite looks.

“Really?” She smiles brightly at me and I kiss her for her reassurance.

“Now let’s go to this frat party so we can come home okay?”

“Sounds good with me let’s go.”

Tobin and I meet up with everyone at Ashlyn’s house to pregame before we head over to the frat. We are all pretty drunk at this point but the night as been so much fun. Sydney and I run the mini pong tournament we had going on beating Tobin and Lauren in the final.

We get to the frat house and the rooms are crowded with people playing pong and flip cup in the kitchen. Kegs in a couple different rooms and they completely moved all furniture out of their main room so people can dance.

We all enjoy ourselves dancing with each other and everyone else that came to the party. I make sure through my drunken fog to continually keep an eye on Kelley who is flirting with some girl right now.

I had been dancing with Tobin most of the night but when she went to get us some drinks she got pulled into a pong tournament with Lauren and has been winning at pong for like the last hour. I get into a conversation with some guy saying how we have been all brainwashed by the government. I spend a half an hour arguing with him before I get bored and decide to go spend time with Ashlyn who is surprisingly not attached to Ali.

“Finally escaped from Jason I see. He can be such a handful with all of his conspiracy theories. He was in my public speaking and that’s all he would talk about.” Ashlyn laughs as Christen gets sucked into Jason’s rants.

“It’s ridiculous but whatever.” I laugh shaking my head, “Where is Ali?”

“She is playing flip cup with Sydney and Kristie so I’m trying to be the sober one of the bunch.”

“How responsible of you.” I hold my cup up to her before taking a drink.

“Where is Tobin?” Ashlyn asks and it surprises me that she associates me with her.

“Playing pong or something.” I shrug.

“So are you guys ever going to make it official?” Ashlyn’s question really catches me off guard then.

“I don’t think so Tobin doesn’t settle and I’m okay with how things are.” I try to calm the panic I feel inside at thinking about actually being with Tobin.

“People can surprise you.” Ashlyn gives me a wink.

“Ash I need you.” We hear Ali whine from the kitchen entrance.”

“Well duty calls.” Ashlyn sighs happily as she walks over to her girlfriend who is extremely drunk at this point.

I take the opportunity to walk into the other room that has the keg to fill my drink. It’s also a lot quieter than the other rooms so I can finally get some peace.

That’s when my phone buzzes.

“Hello?” I answer confused as to why she would be calling me so late.

“Alex.” Hope sounds frantic but I’m not sure.

“Hope if this is a booty call I’m going to have to politely decline tonight.” I tease.

“Alex shut up and listen.” Hope says angrily, “I found out that Frank has been getting investigated and they think there will be an illegal deal tonight between him and a client. I’ve been monitoring Kelley’s texts and Frank texted Kelley telling her to meet him in ten minutes just now. You have to stop her or she is going to get taken down with him.”

“Okay gotta go.”

“Hurry up and catch her before she leaves.”

I hang up the phone and move into the room with a crowd of people. Kelley isn’t in the spot she was before and I start to panic. I search the room for Kelley and I can’t find her anywhere.

“Oh shit, come on where are you.” I mutter as I scan the room frantically. That’s when I spot her saying something to Christen quickly before making her way to the door.

I reach her as she starts pushing through the crowd to leave.

“Kelley wait.” I grab her arm before she can walk past me.

“What is it Alex?”

“I, I need to talk to you.” I stumble out trying to come up with an excuse for her to stay.

“Alright we can talk when I get back.”

“Where are you going?”

“To get more alcohol.” She uses it as an excuse but I’m quicker than that.

“There is plenty of alcohol here so you don’t have to waste your time going stay her with us.”

“I don’t want beer.” She says tugging her arm free, “I’ll be right back it is not a big deal.” Kelley starts to walk away and something inside of me clicks. I don’t think anymore and I just react.

I pull Kelley, turning her around, and I kiss her. I put all of my emotions into that kiss, my frustration, my anger, and my guilty go into this kiss. I know Kelley is taken back but it only takes a matter of heartbeats for her to start kissing me back. It’s not a first kiss you would want to remember, it isn’t an innocent new beginning, it’s a masterful move in a game of chess. It’s the checkmate of a game that should’ve never been started. But I can’t stop the feelings that creep into my stomach, swirling around, telling me that I wanted this. Kelley’s lips are soft but there is a fierceness that I can’t deny. The kiss is adrenaline-charged and I feel myself getting lost in it.

When I feel my lungs begin to ache I pull away to see a wide eyed Kelley looking back at me.

“What was that?”

“I don’t know but I’d like to find out.” I breathe out feeling the head rush from our kiss.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Kelley’s demeanor is calm but something has shifted in her eyes now. Her look shows understanding and eagerness. I nod wanting to see where this will take us and feeling triumphant that I stopped her from going to meet Frank.

As we walk out hand in hand something tells me to look back and when I do I see Tobin’s beautiful brown eyes staring into mine and the single tear that accompanies them.

I don’t stay to see the repercussions of my actions.


	7. Chapter 7

Mistakes are a funny thing and as I lay here engulfed in arms that are smaller than I am use to I can’t help but feel the mistake I have made.

How do I explain this to Tobin? I have to explain it to Tobin.

I slowly pull myself away from Kelley’s embrace and look for my clothes on the floor. Kelley and I didn’t have sex last night but we did make out for a little until Kelley passed out. Kelley was a lot drunker than I thought so she fell asleep easily.

I look back to see her peacefully sleeping and I can’t deny the spark that’s still present on my lip.

I turn around as I start to feel the temptation to get back into bed with her. I have to talk to Tobin and that’s what is most important right now.

As I walk to my dorm building I see Lauren and A-Rod walking towards me and I smile at them like I normally do but there faces are weary.

“Hey guys.” I say hesitantly.

“Hey Lex you’re up early.”

“Yeah I was just heading to my dorm to see if Tobin wants to get breakfast.” I shrug not understanding there expressions.

“Coming from Kelley’s?” Lauren asks and I feel a little caught off guard.

“Uh yeah I spent the night there with her last night but-”

“You don’t have to explain it to us Lex.” A-Rod interjects and I start to realize that they may know more than I thought.

“It wasn’t what you guys think I just wanted to get her home safe.”

“Well I guess you did.” Lauren deadpans and I feel a spark of anger inside of me. I don’t need college students judging me for doing what I want.

“Yeah guess so.” I say back curtly. “Gotta go catch you guys later.” I move past them not wanting to feel Lauren’s judgmental gaze any longer.

“Alex.” Lauren grabs my arm quickly and it takes everything in my not to grab her wrist and break it. When I look at her eyes they are softer then before and I internally thank my self-control. “She didn’t go back to the dorms last night. She is at Ashlyn and Ali’s so you won’t find her there.”

“Thanks.” I nod heading towards my new direction.

*

I don’t bother to knock on the door figuring everyone is asleep anyways but unluckily I find Ashlyn standing in the kitchen doorway looking confused as to who is walking in her apartment until she realizes it’s me.

She shakes her head disapprovingly but nods her head towards the kitchen for me to come in anyways.

“You know you really fucked up last night Alex.” Ashlyn says not looking up when I walk in to the kitchen. Ashlyn really knows how to cut to the chase.

“I know that’s why I’m here. I want to talk to Tobin about what happened.”

“You know we all know that Tobin has feelings for you it’s obvious.” Ashlyn says looking up, “And I see the way you look at her so I know you have feelings for her. You may not want to admit it but you definitely do.”

“I’m not denying anything Tobin knows how I feel.”

“But does she?” Ashlyn looks up at me with a knowing look but I’m not quite sure where she is going with this.

“Yeah Tobin knows where I stand with wanting a relationship, with our situation, and everything else.”

“Yeah well Tobin also knows the way you look at Kelley when we are all together too.” Ashlyn continues to keep busy with making breakfast.

“What are you talking about Ashlyn?”

“If your attention isn’t on Tobin then it’s on Kelley. I see the way you watch her in a room and so does Tobin. I just think Tobin thought that she for once overshadowed the mysterious appeal of Kelley O’Hara.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Why did you kiss Kelley last night?”

“It’s…it’s complicated.”

“Yeah well isn’t it always? Look I understand if you have feelings for both because they are both likable and attractive girls but your teetering on the edge of danger here.”

“Yeah well they aren’t innocent either Ash.” I don’t know why I feel like I need to defend myself to her.

“No they definitely aren’t but I think we both know that at least they’re upfront about it.”

“And what I’m not?” I scoff feeling annoyed that I’m becoming the bad guy.

“No I’m not saying you aren’t but you keep your feelings in check a lot better which is where it gets dangerous.”

“What gets dangerous?”

“When you slip.” Ashlyn looks up with a certain reserve in her gaze. I nod not wanting to hold her gaze. “Here take this to Tobin.” Ashlyn passes me a plate of food.

“Thanks Ash.” I mumble dreading this conversation more than anything.

I walk into the room to see Tobin fast asleep on the bed. Her eyelids look puffy so I know she had been crying for a while last night. She doesn’t have the same calm expression on her face like she usually does even in her sleep. I realize then how badly I fucked up.

“Tobin.” I nudge her lightly, “Wake up Tobin.”

Tobin stirs slightly looking a little disorientated until her eyes finally focus on my face. Her eyes change like the crash of memories come slamming into her head.

“Go away Alex.” Tobin says turning over to go back to sleep or to avoid me. I obviously can’t blame her.

“Tobin I want to talk about last night and-”

“And what explain why you’re a hypocrite?” Tobin sits up glaring at me, “You tell me not to hook up with Kelley anymore, you got mad because you thought I was yesterday, and then I see you kissing her. You fucking left with her. You stared right at me and still left.”

“Tobin let me explain please.” I stand up. “I didn’t mean to hurt you and you’re right that was a really hypocritical thing to do but I had to do it.”

“Had to do it? What do you mean you had to do it? That’s such bullshit.”

“No Tobin it isn’t. I don’t know how to explain this, it’s just, I saw Kelley and she was acting so weird and I just knew in my gut that if she left the party something bad was going to happen. Do you know what I mean when I say that? That you just have such a strong feeling that something bad is going to happen so you panic and do the first thing that comes to mind.”

“No Alex not really.” Tobin stands up like she’s wanting to leave but I can’t let her leave angry at me.

“Please Tobin.” The panic in my voice surprises both of us, “I didn’t do it to hurt you I promise, I did it to keep Kelley out of trouble.”

“Kelley wasn’t in trouble Alex.” Tobin spits out, “Just admit that you have feelings for her.”

“I would be lying if I said that there wasn’t something about Kelley that intrigues me.” I tell Tobin the truth because I don’t have anything else to lose, “But when it comes down to it you’re the only person I want to spend my time with.”

“Where did you go with Kelley last night?” Tobin’s jaw is clenched and I’ve never seen so much anger in her eyes before.

“We went to her dorm and we did kiss more but that is all that happened.” I know it sounds lame but I say it anyways because at this point it won’t make my case anyways.

Tobin looks like she is about to say something but her phone buzzes and it’s a text from someone.

“Speak of the devil.” Tobin sighs heavily texting back on her phone. “Kelley needs me. See you later.”

“Tobin.” I grab her arm lightly and as I do I feel the muscles tense underneath.

“Don’t.” Tobin pulls her arm away, “Not right now Lex. We can talk later I guess.”

“After the game?” I ask desperate for Tobin to understand

“Sure.” And with that Tobin walks out and I’m left sitting on the bed.

I check my phone instantly to see what Kelley had texted Tobin.

Kelley 9:17am: Dude I just called Frank’s guys and he said the police tried to bust him last night for going to meet someone to do an illegal deal. I’m kind of freaking out right now. What if he says my name? What if he thinks I set him up? And what about all of our stuff? Those kids are expecting it and if I don’t deliver I don’t know what will happen. Where are you?

Tobin 9:19am: Relax Kell I’m coming over. I was just talking to Alex real quick.

Kelley 9:21am: Right well about that I think we need to discuss it as well.

Tobin 9:22am: Guess so.

“Well shit.”

*

When I go to Hope’s this time I text her ahead of time letting her know that I’m coming over but I didn’t get a response back so I head over anyways.

I knock but she doesn’t answer and the longer I wait the more impatient I get so I pick the lock to her house and walk in. The first thing I notice on the floor is a dress and I almost want to laugh out loud but instead I walk to the back to her bedroom knowing what I will find.

There she is sleeping peacefully or pretending to at least while some girl naked is rummaging through Hope’s stuff.

“You know Hope you could stop embarrassing the girl and just kick her out already.” The girl screams a little and whips her head around to look at me.

“Wh-who are you?” She stammers out.

“I’m the girl who is going to break every one of your fingers if you don’t put everything you are trying to steal back.”

“I’m not stealing I was looking for my clothes and I couldn’t find any so I was just going to borrow some.”

“I call bullshit.” I step towards her, “Now let’s play a game and see how many fingers I need to break until you tell the truth.”

“Alex leave the girl alone.” Hope says with her eyes still closed like she could care less about what is happening right now.

“Hope you really know how to pick them? Where did you find this one a bar or grocery store?” Hope laughs at this.

“Grocery store aisle eight.” She laughs and I can’t help but join in, “Anyways there is nothing worth stealing here and you know that so leave her alone so she will leave already she’s been rummaging around for a half an hour already. Go start the shower and I’ll meet you in there in a few.”

“Skipping right to a shower? I’m offended.” But I pull my shirt off anyways wanting to get a reaction from the girl.

“What the fuck.” The girl spits out disgustingly. I decide it will be fun to fuck with her one more time so I walk up to her sizing her up. I let my eyes rake over her body until I see her begin to squirm.

“You can join if you want.” I slowly lick my lips invitingly and for a second I think she thinks she’s going to actually say yes.

“Alex stop messing with her.” Hope is now sitting up on her elbow staring at us amusingly.

“You guys are fucked up.” She tries to push past me but I grab her arm firmly.

“You have no idea.” I let my words out like a growl. “Now empty the fucking bag or you’ll see how fucked up we can be.” I sneer knowing that she is frightened by the threat in my voice and the look I’m giving her.

The girl immediately dumps her bag with some of Hope’s belongings in it.

“There now let me go please.” I reach up stroking her face gently and I know she is trying to not move.

“One more thing.” I say leaning in to whisper in her ear. I run my hand up along her side feeling goose bumps against the contact of my fingers. I run my hand across her shoulder, up her neck, and then I slowly rip the necklace off of her neck.

“This is mine.” I sneer before giving her a light shove towards the door. She scurries out of the room like the rat she is.

I feel Hope’s hands on my waist sliding along my hips into the front as she slides them a little below the waist of my jeans. I lean back into her touch finding comfort.

“Why do you always have to do that?” Hope smiles against my skin.

“Because you pick awful girls.” I counter back.

“So I take it you stopped Kelley last night?” I can’t help but sigh at remembering the hole I dug myself into. “What did you do?”

“I kissed her.” I shrug lightly feeling the guilt slowly rise again.

“Why do I hear a hint of sadness in your voice?” Hope asks and I hear the little concern she has in her voice.

“Tobin saw and I hurt her feelings.”

“Well you’re going to need to get over that quickly if we want to continue to keep track of her. You kissed her and maybe that’s for the best. I think you should pursue her into being in a relationship that way you can have full access to her.”

“I don’t want to be in a relationship with her Hope.” I pull away from Hope not wanting to feel her touch anymore. I pull my shirt back on and face her. “I don’t want to do that anymore.”

“Then you don’t want to be in the agency because those are sacrifices that you will have to make Alex. I know we talked about this recently but you aren’t showing me that this is what you want to do.”

“This is different.” Why does this need to be brought up now.

“It isn’t different Alex. We both know firsthand that our feelings cannot go into an assignment. We did good at keeping our personal lives and work lives separate.”

“Did we Hope? Because I’m pretty sure my personal life ruined my career.” I snap at her not wanting to bring up the past.

“Do not blame me for that day and do not blame yourself.”

“How can I not Hope when I was sleeping safely in bed with you when my partner, my mentor, and my only family was walking into a death trap!” I scream feeling the frustration boil over, “A death trap that I set up myself!”

“Alex.” Hope says sadly.

“If I wasn’t with you, if I hadn’t gone over, and if you hadn’t asked me to stay I would’ve been there with her. I would’ve been able to help her, I could’ve saved her, but instead I condemned her.”

“It wasn’t your fau-”

“Yes it was we both know that we are to blame for this.” I wipe away at my tears. “And the worst part about it is that it made me stop loving you. I loved you Hope and I thought we were going to spend our lives together. I laid in bed with you that morning and I felt so safe but then we got the phone call and I felt nothing.”

It was Hope’s turn to let her tears fall because I knew how badly she loved me and I know she may still feel that way but Hope is the best at suppressing her feelings.

“It was a long time ago.” Hope says turning away from me. “You said you wanted to do this for Abby so let’s just focus on now. Don’t let your feelings for Tobin get in the way of your assignment okay? Why are you here?”

“Kelley knows Frank was almost busted last night and is freaking out. I think this is a crucial point to watch her so how quickly can you get me a tracking device in a bracelet?”

“Give me fifteen minutes okay?” Hope gives me a small smirk, her composure back to normal as she walks out of her bedroom and to her office.

I have to push my feelings aside right now and worry about Kelley but I don’t know how I’m going to do that with this pit inside of my stomach.

*

I call Kelley once I get back to the dorms so we can meet up to talk but I can’t get a hold of her so I go to her dorm to see if she is sleeping.

“Hey Alex.” Christen says opening the door, “I was wondering when you’d be back. You left Kelley pretty early this morning.”

“Yeah do you know where she is?”

“She went for a drive so I’m not sure where she could be. She left her phone here so I’m not sure but she does this a lot and she always comes back.”

“I think I know where she is.” I turn around to leave, “Thanks Chris.”

“You know Alex despite Kelley’s hard exterior she does get hurt.” I look back to see the protectiveness in Christens eyes.

“I know.” Kelley sleeps around with everyone but doesn’t get a stern talking and I kiss her once and have the whole team against me.

I leave her dorm feeling on edge again and defensive, I should have never gotten involved with any of the girls here. They’re all too complicated and emotional.

It doesn’t take me long to get to the secluded beach that Kelley goes to, to think or be alone. I can see her figure getting bigger as I approach her. She is sitting there her knees up to her chin looking out at the water.

I sit down next to her but neither of us says anything for a while. I can see the worry in the creases on her forehead. I can tell her mind is lost in thought so I don’t interrupt her.

“You kissed me last night.” She finally says, her emotions not changing, and her gaze is still looking out at the water.

“Yeah I did.” I stare at her trying to find any emotion from her.

“I know that it doesn’t change anything between us.” She finally looks at me with sad eyes, “I know you don’t trust me with you but I would like to try to change for you.”

“I’m not asking you to change.”

“I think I have to.” She shakes her head a little. “I like you Alex and I don’t think I’ve ever actually liked someone before. I want to change I just have to figure out how.”

“Well for starters you could wear this.” I pull out a simple leather bracelet that has a small tracking device inside of it, “I wanted you to have this.”

“Thank you Lex.” Kelley smiles at me as she holds out her wrist so I can clasp it on for her.

“Promise you will always wear it?”

“I promise.” She smiles sadly at me and turns back to the ocean.

“Where’s your head at Kell?” I ask after several moments of silence.

“Do you ever feel like you’re stuck? Like no matter what you try to do something goes wrong and no matter what you do your just stuck there.”

“Do you want to give me an example?” I ask wanting her to confide in me.

“Not really.” She looks away but not in time for me to see her eyes begin to water.

“Come here.” I say scooting behind her and pulling her back to my chest. I wrap my arms around her and I can feel her crying through the movements of her body. “What has you so upset Kell? You can tell me.”

“I don’t want to let anyone down.” She sniffs wrapping her arms around mine. She squeezes my arms tightly, “I’m trying so hard not to let anyone down but things keep getting in the way and I have to keep making choices to try to make sure I don’t. I keep getting stuck.”

I know Kelley is talking about her deal with Frank and letting down the people she is selling whatever it is to people. I can’t help but feel bad for her though. I’ve never seen a drug dealer with such a conscience before.

“You’ll be okay Kelley.” I kiss her head wanting to comfort her, “I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you or let you feel like you’re alone. I promise.”

“You can’t promise that.”

“Yes I can because I’d never let you do anything you couldn’t handle alone. You just have to let me in and let me help you. You’re not alone Kell you just choose to be.”

“Thank you.” Kelley sighs like she is letting her stress slowly leave her body.

“You’re welcome.” I smile against her head. I need to get closer to her and try to stop her from making dumb decisions.

We sit there like that for a long time, Kelley letting me hold her, and just talking and watching the waves. Kelley tells me more stories of when she was younger and she presses me to tell her about my past.

Kelley is starting to trust me more and that’s exactly what needs to happen if I want to keep her safe.

*

We won our game again leaving us still at an undefeated season so we decide to all go out to eat to celebrate the win. I decide to watch Kelley from afar this time making sure to not continually stare at her. So I decide to sit next to Ashlyn and Sydney.

“I think we have a great chance at being State Champions this year.” Ashlyn raises her cup to the table and everyone cheers in agreement.

“Alex and Kelley you guys had amazing goals but Tobin and Chris you guys had sick assists. Those balls were beautiful.” Sydney compliments and everyone nods in agreement.

“Next week starts opening round and we will show them what we are made of!” Lauren yells and we all get riled up.

I notice Tobin and Kelley smiling cheerfully with each other laughing together and I never noticed how well they work together. It is a shame I feel like I could play a part in ruining it. I have to tell Tobin that it’s over tonight.  We have to go back to being friends and that way I don’t have to hurt either one of them.

We all enjoy the night with each other and all make our way back to our dorms. I begin to prep myself for telling Tobin that we can’t keep doing this. And I get the encouragement I need when Kelley jumps on Tobin’s back and makes her race Sydney and Kristie.

Tobin is already in the room by the time I make my way in. When I get there she is facing away from me and I feel my heart tighten at what I’m about to do.

“Tobin.” I whisper out, “We need to-” I get cut off because Tobin’s mouth is suddenly against mine and she’s kissing me more passionately then I have ever been kissed. There is such desperation in this kiss that I feel like it’s her only life line.

“I can’t lose you.” Tobin kisses me again with the same fierceness and my entire body is radiating from me.

I send a silent thank you to gravity for keeping me grounded.

“Tobin-” I get out in between her kisses but I don’t get much more out then that. I let the kiss ride out because her lips really are the only thing that is keeping me sane.

“You were right Kelley was in some sort of trouble that night and you probably did save her from it.” Tobin finally breathes out trying to let the air return to her lungs.

“Tobin I can’t give you what you want.” I push away from her but she grabs my wrist and pulls me to her.

“I know that.” She searches my eyes, those soft brown eyes so sincere and scared. “I’m not pressuring you to give me anything but you’re the most exciting part of my day and I can’t lose that.”

“Tobin-” I want to protest but her lips don’t let another word escape. This kiss is light and sweet leaving me feeling dizzier than before.

“Don’t be afraid of hurting me.” She runs her thumb along my cheek.

“I’m already broken Tobin.” I sigh, “Don’t let me break you too.”  I know that my past has broken me, making me feel incapable of loving anyone again. I can’t trust myself or anyone to make me happy again. I live for one purpose now and that’s to avenge Abby’s death.

“Let me take care of you.” Tobin’s voice breaks through the conversation I have going inside of my head. “I can take care of you so for once let someone.”

Tobin’s words are so sincere that any protest I could have is smolder by the hopeful look in her eyes. My eye begins to tear because how can I tell this girl that I can’t keep doing this.

She wipes away my tears even though I left her with hers. I run my thumb across her bottom lip trying to memorize how soft they are.

Just another night I tell myself. Just give yourself another night to let her hold you, to let her make you feel safe, to make you feel like the person you wish you were.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for how late this is but I'm going to try to update regularly now.
> 
>  
> 
> Follow my tumblr: wannabeawolf.tumblr.com

The whistle blows but the sound is over powered by the cheers and screams of my teammates, the crowds chant, and the beat from my heart is louder than anyone else. I look straight towards her and take off in a dead sprint because she is the reason I scored and the reason we just became National Champions.

I reach her in a matter of seconds, knocking her over on the ground with a loud thud. She’s laughing hysterically, filled with so much joy it makes my own heart want to explode.

“We did it Lex!” She happily cheers in my ear.

“No you did, Tobin, that pass was beautiful.” I look into her eyes and run my hand along her cheek. “Thank you for giving me this.”

“Hey anything for you.” Tobin says leaning up kissing me quickly. At this point our team is surrounding us, pulling me off of her. There are countless ends of hugs, I love you’s, and cheers. These past couple of weeks had been daunting with school, practice, and games, but here we are.

“We’re National Champions.” Ashlyn yells happily, jumping in to Ali’s arms.

Sydney and Kristie are doing some weird celebratory dance that has us all laughing hysterically.

And then there is Christen and Kelley, arms wrapped around each other, staring at the crowds smiling widely. Kelley manages to look beautiful even with the stains and sweat covering her.

“Awesome goals tonight girls.” I smile happily as I take my place next to them. Kelley looks at me with bright eyes and a flawless smile.

“Not bad yourself.” Kelley replies back coyly.

“Oh enough with the smug compliments we did fucking awesome tonight and were national champions bitches.” Christen yells joyfully.

We all laugh as the team begins to join us, all beginning to hold hands, I feel Kelley grab mine tightly as she stars into my eyes, and at the same time as I feel the familiar hand hold my other. I look to see Tobin smiling blissfully at me. At this moment I have never felt happier in my entire life. We all raise our hands, high in the air, proud of this amazing accomplishment.

Just like the past couple of weeks, the game, and the celebration all become a blur.

*

“Duck!” I hear Hope yell but my stomach is already feeling the impact from the blow. I fall to the ground having the wind knocked out of me, and fighting to regain my breath.

“Well someone is a little out of shape.” Hope says coming up to me, bending down to make sure I’m safe but the smirk on her face never leaves. “Letting this whole championship get to your head?”

“I’m not out of shape I just didn’t see that bag swing down.” I huff out. Hope bough a warehouse and set up a training center exactly the way it is at the agency. Weights and obstacles fill the entire room but, my favorite is the running obstacles, especially this one in particular. The whole obstacle encompasses the outside of the training center. The object is to run your fastest time but there are boxes, ropes, fences, and parts you have to crawl but the whole time you’re running, bags are being dropped down to hit you.

“Well come on, run it again then.” Hope grabs my hand pulling me up.

“Hope I’ve ran it like twenty times already.” I wipe the sweat from my head feeling the shakiness in my aching bones. “It’s almost three in the morning. I have to sleep.”

“Morgan this is the time you wanted to do it.” Hope doesn’t bother to hide the annoyance forming in her tone, “I’m taking time out of my night and sleep schedule for you.”

“This is just wearing me out, maybe we should change the time.” I sit down feeling like my legs might give out.

“We can’t because winter break is fast approaching and you won’t be here.”

“Oh yeah? Where will I be?” I take my water and take a long drink.

“With Kelley in New York.” Hopes words catch me off guard and I can’t stop from joking back a laugh.

“How is that supposed to happen?”

“You’re going to convince her you have nowhere to go and you’re going to get close with her and want her during break.” Hope grabs my water from me. “Don’t fuck this up because if you can’t get her to invite you then they will hire someone else to watch her.”

“Fine.”

“How are things going with you guys?” Hope hasn’t pressed the past couple of weeks because of soccer. She knew how important winning the championship was to me.

“They’re fine, we’re hanging out a lot and she hasn’t done anything dumb.” I shrug. Kelley hasn’t been in contact with Frank since he was busted. She has still be texting random numbers trying to get them to meet her but nothing ever seems to go through.

“And how are things with Tobin?” I don’t respond to Hope with words but instead I glare at her. Hope considers me weak for not being able to leave Tobin and that pisses me off more than anything. “Fine I won’t ask but get up and run it again, you have to be in shape like the agency had you.”

“I’m in better shape than they ever had me.” I retort. “I can still kick your ass and anyone else’s.”

“Yeah well then why don’t we move on to sparring?” Hope challenges and the look on her face is what first attracted me to her. She’s a predator and everyone to her, is the prey.

“Aright but let’s make it more interesting.” I say walking up to her so we're barely touching. “Every round I win you take off a piece of clothing and vice versa.” The look in Hope’s eyes in dangerous in a way I haven’t seen in weeks.

“Deal.”

*

I hobble to my dorm about quarter to five feeling more exhausted than I have in a very long time. Hope had me out of all of my clothes in seven rounds. I slowly open my door to make sure I don’t wake up Tobin. When I approach the bed I can see the outline of her facing towards the wall so I slowly, painfully get into the bad as smoothly possible.

I breathe a sigh of relief when she doesn’t move or wake up. I settle a little deeper into the bed letting my muscle finally relax.

“Where do you keep going?” I whip around startled by her sudden voice.

“Tobin why are you awake?” I stumble over my words still startled from being caught.

“Waiting to see when you’d get back, kind of hard to fall asleep when I have no clue where you go every other night.”  I can hear the anger rolling through her words.

“I’m sorry Tobin I didn’t mean to wake you.” I turn around to face her back, place my hand on her hip to give it a light squeeze.

“Always avoiding the questions.” She sighs out, “Getting pretty good at that.”

“Hey I’m not avoiding your question alright? I can’t sleep at night so I just go to the soccer field or run.”

“Right I’ll pretend to believe that.” I sit up at the accusation in her voice, feeling angrier than I should. She does have a right to wonder where I go and I know I’m not giving her answers.

“Why are you being like this?” I ask hearing the exasperation in my own voice.

“Because the past couple weeks it’s like we hook up and then sleep. We don’t spend any time together, like you’re avoiding me except when we go to sleep, and you can’t even stay in bed with me the entire night.” I can hear the thickness in her voice, and how sad she’s been. I have been avoiding spending time because a part of me doesn’t want to get into this but another part of me does, and it’s so confusing I don’t know what to do. I know I shouldn’t be with her but the thought of not being with her or picturing her with someone else hurts more so I keep us in this limbo. “Where are you Alex?”

“I’m right here Tobin. I was just so worked up about the games and winning the championship. I know I haven’t been the best lately but let me make it up to you okay?” Tobin’s silence beings to make me feel uneasy and I feel this panic inside of me. I wrap my arm around Tobin tightly, pulling her closer, and placing a kiss on her exposed shoulder. “Tobin will you look at me?”

Tobin responds and slowly turns around to her other side to face me but keeps her head tilted down. I run my hand up and down her arm and we stay like that for a little longer. I never wanted to hurt Tobin but I can already tell I have started to. I need to fix this and make it right now that I think about it I can’t even remember the last time I saw her smile.

“Will you go on a date with me?” Tobin’s eyes dart up to mine in the darkness surprised by my next words. I can see her eyes staring into mine even in the darkness, but then I feel her hand caress my cheek lightly. And then her lips are pressing against mine and I open up all of my senses to her. I realized now that I can’t remember the last time we kissed or how I felt when it happened. I’ve been so consumed with soccer, watching Kelley, and worry about my next move that I haven’t even enjoyed Tobin the way I used to. I’ve been blocking her off for so long.

“Is that a yes?” I feel her smile against my lips but she doesn’t answer she lets the kiss do it for her.

*

I feel the cold water splash on my face as I shoot up from my sleep, panicked not knowing where I was. When I look up I see the same familiar glare and her same dominant stance.

“What the-“

“I suggest you don’t finish that sentence Miss Morgan.” I hear the stern warning in her voice.

“Why would you throw water on me?” I ask angrily.

 “I also suggest that you don’t fall asleep in class again. You may have won a national championship but that was two weeks ago and we have finals to get ready for. I’m sure Miss O’Hara-“Hopes eyes dart to the left. “Will be more than happy to catch you up on the material we went over.”

I look to my left to see Kelley look half amused half in shock, looking at Hope, nodding her head vigorously.

“That is if she wasn’t too busy watching you sleep.” Hope cocks an eyebrow and now I’m the one with the amused look.

“No Professor I have all the notes down.” I see the blush form in her cheeks.

“Very good.” Hope nods curtly, “I’ll see you both Monday.” And with that Hope walks out of the room.

“Dude! I can’t believe she just threw water on you that is hilarious.” Kelley bursts out laughing which earns her a good slap in the arm.

“Why wouldn’t you wake me up?” I argue with her as I grab my sweatshirt to soak up the water that’s seeping through my stuff.

“Because you were exhausted and you’re cute when you drool.” Kelley shrugs her shoulders apologetically.

“So you were watching me sleep.” I smirk at her knowing there’s a sarcastic remark coming any second.

“Yeah I was.” Kelley smiles lightly wiping away drops of water from my face. “Come on let’s go to my dorm since it’s the closest and get you some clothes.”

Kelley and I walk to her dorm so I didn’t have to truck to my dorm which is farther than hers. When we get into her room Christen is on her bed reading a book, and she looks up with the same amused look that Kelley had in the classroom.

“What happened?”

“She fell asleep in Professor Solo’s class.” Kelley shrugs as she looks through her drawers for some clothes. “Here.” She hands me a t-shirt and a new sweatshirt. I take off my wet shirt and throw it in her hamper. My muscles still feel sore from last night’s training session with Hope so I stretch my muscles wanting to feel the relief it brings. When I finally look up Kelley and Christen are just staring at me.

“What are you guys staring at?”

“The huge bruises on you.” Kelley deadpans. I look down to see deep purple bruises on my stomach and side from where the bags and Hope had hit me.

“Oh shit.” I laugh a little trying to diffuse the situation. “That’s what I get for picking up boxing on my spare time.”

“You don’t box.” Kelley says sternly. Kelley locks my eyes in some sort of challenging stare down like if she stares long enough I’ll give in and tell her where I got them form.

“Alright well while you guys stand there in obvious sexual tension I’m going to go to class.” Christen laughs as she grabs her stuff and leaves.

To avoid I grab the closest magazine I say and lay down on Kelley’s bed. Kelley doesn’t move from her spot and I can almost feel her eyes piercing me through the magazine. After pretending to read a few pages I finally set the magazine down to see Kelley glaring at me suspiciously.

“Will you stop giving me that look and come lay with me?” Kelley doesn’t budge from her spot so I go to my second option and just pout. “Fine but I’m going to nap so you can either join me or stand there.”

Kelley gives in to that and comes to lay down with me. She doesn’t say anything still but I don’t mind considering the alternative conversation I know she wants to have. Kelley and I have been getting closer, hanging out more and more, and we’ve started to take naps during our breaks together. I welcome the naps because I’m exhausted most of the time anyways. We face each other in bed but she doesn’t put her arm around me until she thinks I’m asleep so were inches from touching and I close my eyes already feeling the sleep start to take over.

“Where are the bruises from Alex?” I hear her ask, a sad protective tone in her voice.

“I told you boxing.” I mumble out.

“Is it…it’s not Tobin right?” Her question as most of the things she says catches me by surprise.

“What?” I laugh thinking how absurd that sounds, “Of course not, she wouldn’t do that, you know that.”

“I don’t know it’s the only thing I could come up with.” Kelley doesn’t make eye contact just shrugs her shoulders instead.

“Listen, I’m not in danger and no one is hurting me. I am literally doing boxing, if you want to come with me so I can prove it to you then you can.” I smile trying to reassure her that nothing is wrong.

“Alright alright I’m sorry.” Kelley says smiling warmly at me.

“It’s okay now let’s sleep alright?” I close my eyes wanting to let the exhaustion finally take control.

“We always sleep when we hang out, why don’t we have any actual conversation.”

“We talk.”

“No Alex we don’t. I barely know anything about you and you don’t know anything about me.”

“Whose fault is that?” I counter back hoping this would be a good opportunity to get her to open up to me, “You never let me in.”

“Well I’m willing to if that’s what it takes.” I know she is talking about me giving her a chance.

“Alright so talk Kell.”

“Well what are your plans for break?” I can tell she doesn’t do this often and doesn’t really know where to begin with really getting to know someone on another level then just being friends.

“Nothing.” I shrug nonchalantly. “Don’t have family so don’t have plans.”

“We go on break like next week and you have no plans? So you aren’t doing anything for Christmas or anything like that?”

“Nope.”

“So where are you going to go?”

“I don’t know.” I shrug liking my odds in going with her on break. “I didn’t resign my lease at my apartment so figured I’d try to stay here or something.”

“Come home with me.” Kelley doesn’t hesitate to ask. I knew she wouldn’t because despite her exterior and questionable decisions, she is actually very caring.

“I couldn’t do that Kell.”  

“I want you to.” She smiles but I can see the nervousness in the way she darts her eyes everywhere but me.

“I’d love to Kelley.” I smile happily, feeling excited for the first time in a long time. “Now can we please sleep I have no energy right now.”

“Of course.” This time Kelley doesn’t wait until I fall asleep to put her arm around me.

*

“What are you doing here?” I hear her voice before I even hear her come into her bedroom.

“Just wanted to take a bubble bath and unfortunately you can’t at my dorm.” I swirl around the bubbles with my hand and look up to see those same brown eyes staring back at me. “You know it was extremely rude to pour water on my head.”

“Yeah well it’s rude to sleep in my class and if I yell at other students then I can’t exclude you. How did you get it?”

“I owe you a back window.” I had to break Hope’s backyard window to get in to her house but I figured she owed me anyways.

“Mature.” Hope mumbles as she starts to undress. I watch her undress with ease not letting my gaze leave her movements. She gets into the tub and sinks in behind me. “I can’t remember the last time I took a bath.”

“Probably because we don’t do anything relaxing.”

“But I’m guessing you aren’t here to relax.” Hope as usual always getting to the point.

“Well I figured I would kill two birds with one stone.” I shrug, “I wanted to relax and I wanted to let you know I talked to Kelley and I’ll be going to NYC with her for the break.”

“You got that done fast.” Hope hums as she absentmindedly draws patterns on my stomach. “You know if you want to stay here for the holidays at least, I’ll be around so you can stay here.”

“I have to go especially during the holidays so we can get closer.”

“Alex I see how Kelley looks at you, and I know she has feelings for you so utilize it. The faster you do, the faster we figure out what’s going on with her, the faster you can come back to the agency and we can move on with our lives.”

The problem with Hopes words were that I didn’t know if I wanted to go back to the agency. When I finally got out there was such a void that I thought it was because of the agency. I know it isn’t, I know it has everything to do with Abby.

“I don’t want to go back to the agency, I want to find who killed Abby, and I want to prove that I wasn’t wrong. I know we were on the right trail and I’m going to prove it. The agency can go fuck themselves.”

“You know Alex you have so much anger towards the agency but they aren’t the ones who killed Abby. Don’t you remember? The agency stops the guys who are doing the wrong. We’re the good guys despite you perception of us now. We saved so many people and stopped so many bad people from doing more damage. We made a difference.”

“At what cost though?” I ask the question that has always been on my mind. We give up having a family, a permanent home, friends, and even our lives. “It doesn’t feel worth it anymore, to give it all up anymore.”

“That’s a decision you’ll have to figure out. You can walk away Alex whenever you want, no one is holding you here. You’re watching over a nineteen year old party girl, you can move on.”

“I can’t you know that.”

“Because of Abby or because of the feelings you have for Tobin?”

“I’m not talking about Tobin again so don’t bother.”

“It’s unfair to her, to get her attached and to get these feelings for you. You can’t give her what someone needs in a relationship. There will always be lies, sneaking around, and other people getting in the way. Do not make her go through what we did, what if, what if something happened to you? She would either never know about it or would find it all out at once. I know in your mind you’re thinking just tell her but you can’t because it puts her at danger.”

“I can protect her from all of this and I can make her happy.”

“Alex we’re dangerous.” Hope’s words hit a chord inside of me. I have memories flashing through my mind of past assignments and how they have turned out. We were created as agents to stop bad guys whether it was bringing them in or killing them. I have killed so many husbands, wives, daughters, sons, friends, or someone’s love. “I’m sorry.”

I let Hope hold me while her words sink in with meaning.

*

I get to my dorm wanting nothing more than to hide away under my sheets for forever. When I walk in Tobin is sitting at her desk in front of the mirror. I don’t say anything at first because she is playing with her hair trying to put it in different styles in the mirror.

“I like it down.” I interrupt startling her.

“Jesus Alex you scared me.” Tobin shifts looking uncomfortable in her chair.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to.” I walk over to her running my hands through her hair, “I do love your hair down though. What have you been up to?”

“Nothing hung out with Lauren for a bit after class then came back here to relax. What about you?”

“Well fell asleep in Solo’ class so I got water poured on me by her so I went to Kelley’s to change. We hung out for a bit then I figured I would get started on studying for finals considering I haven’t paid attention at all.” I go over to change out of Kelley’s close and put on a white tee shirt with some sweatpants.

“She really poured water on you?” Tobin laughs and it fills the ache I felt earlier.

“Yeah I wasn’t pleased, wait do you have lip stick on?” I gape at Tobin realizing now that she has red lip stick on.

“Uh yeah I was seeing how it would look for tonight. Lauren gave me some tips and thought maybe I would look good with this lipstick.”

“I think you look amazing in it but you don’t need to dress up or wear make up for me to think you’re beautiful.” I feel Tobin’s arms wrap around my waist.

“I’m excited about tonight.” I feel Tobin press her lips against my shoulder.

“I know me too.” I really want to be excited.

“Alright well I’m going to go to Laurens and start getting ready I’ll see you at seven thirty?” She kisses me goodbye before leaving and I will myself to not let Hopes words get to me.

*

I look at my watch and it reads 7:45. Tobin is fifteen minutes late but it’s typical for Tobin to take her time getting down here. She is so casual when it comes to everything she does there is never a need to rush with her.

After another ten minutes of waiting my impatience starts to wear thin. I call her phone but she doesn’t answer so after a couple tries I call Lauren’s phone.

“Hello?”

“Lauren if you don’t send my date down in five minutes I’m going to start eating my own arm.”

“You can’t rush beauty Alex.”

“I’m counting to fifty and if she isn’t-“

“Lex.” I hear Tobin’s voice and I turn around to see Tobin, looking absolutely breathtaking that I can’t speak.

“Have fun Lex.” I hear Lauren laugh as she hangs up the phone. I pull the phone from my ear and just continue to stare.

Tobin is in a tight black dress with long sleeves, her hair is in waves falling below one shoulder. Her eyes are still those peaceful brown staring at me with happiness. She has just the right amount of make up to capture the features of her face and I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so beautiful before.

“I’m sorry I’m late.” She shifts a little uncomfortably but her smile is still wide on her face. I walk up to her feeling the fabric against my hands as I wrap my arms around her waist.

“You look, I don’t even have the words for it, and you’re beautiful Tobin.” I kiss her and I feel the smile and her body relax at my approval of her appearance. “Are you ready for this date?”

“You have no idea.” Tobin replies happily.

We drive to a small secluded restaurant that’s only a couple of blocks away and were seated in a booth. The atmosphere is perfect for us, it’s a darker restaurant with candles lighting most of the room. We order our food quickly and it’s such a comfortable feeling, being here with Tobin. We spend our time making small talk and laughing.

“I know I’m sad soccer ended because now we can’t pull pranks on Kristie and Sydney anymore.” Tobin laughs thinking about the time we put a bunch of wet toilet paper filling their lockers.

“We can always go for bigger areas like their dorm rooms.”

“We could that would be hilarious. Last year Kelley and I got them so good we took plastic wrap and wrapped their entire beds in them. It took forever for them to get it off.”

“You guys are ridiculous.” I smile not wanting to show any emotion to the fact that she brought up Kelley and they haven’t really been hanging out much.

“We always won any prank wars because were the most competitive, besides you of course.”

“You haven’t really been hanging out with Kelley much.” I figured now would be a good time to bring this topic up.

“Yeah we’ve been busy but she asked to chill tomorrow so I think we’re getting breakfast and getting some surfing in.” Tobin shrugs but I can see the apprehension in her eyes. The waiter comes and brings us our food creating a nice distraction. “So Alex, why did you pick Stanford out of all colleges to come to?”

“I liked the area and the soccer team.”

“Where are you originally from?”

“Diamond Bar, California but I moved around a lot.”

“Do you know what you want to do after college?”

“No not really, what about you?” I try to switch the questions to her.

“I’m only here for soccer, I don’t really care about college or getting a good job afterwards.”

“Then what do you want to do?”

“Make a difference. I just would rather help people then sit behind a desk or do a job I barely like.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“There is a lot you don’t know about me Miss Morgan.” Tobin smiles after taking a bite of her meal. We spend the rest of dinner asking simple questions and Tobin gets immersed in stories that have my eyes watering and my stomach is aching.

 We get dessert because leaving doesn’t feel like an option at this point and we spend another hour slowly picking at the cake not wanting to leave this restaurant. The waiter finally brings over the bill and I pay after a small argument from Tobin. I hold her hand all the way to the car and as we drive home.

We get out of the car and we slowly walk hand in hand through campus taking the long way to our dorm.

“You know before tonight I’ve never been on an actual date before.” I confess to Tobin.

“And how was it?”

“The food was great the company was alright.” I tease her and she just squeezes my hand and laughs.

“Alex.” Tobin stops us, “I had a really good time tonight and honestly I always have a good time with you. There is something about you that just always makes me happy. You make me really happy.”

“You make me happy too Tobin.”

“I’ve never really done this before but you’re so different than any other girl I’ve ever been with. I feel like I can really be myself with you and Alex I think I love you.” I feel the words take a hold of me like they’re wrapped around my neck suffocating me.

“What?” I ask feeling dumbfounded.

“I love you Alex. I want to be with you and I want to know everything about you. I want to be more than what we are and I know you do too. I can feel it when were together how good we are.”

I begin to feel the panic from her words and everything I’ve been holding in, all of my worries, all of Hope’s warnings, everything I’m meant to do here comes rushing back. I can’t do this to Tobin, I should’ve known better, I should’ve stopped while I was ahead, I should’ve never gotten these feelings for her.

“Tobin.”

“Alex I want you.” She wraps her hands around my waist squeezing my sides and I feel safe in her arms. But she isn’t safe in mine, and I can’t give her what she’s asking because I can’t be honest with her. “Tell me what you’re thinking Alex.”

“I can’t do this Tobin.”

“Don’t be afraid Alex, I won’t let anything hurt you.” I’ll hurt you, Tobin. “I will protect you, I’ll be there for you, and I’ll take care of you. I love you and I want this. I know you love me.” It’s like a tidal wave that comes crashing into me that I have been trying to fight off for a while now. I love Tobin and I have always known it but I never wanted to admit it because I knew if I did, I would have to let her go. My relationship with Tobin has always been pure and as honest as it can be, but I can’t promise what she’s promising me.

“I can’t do this Tobin because-“I feel the tears threatening to spill but I know I have to do this. “I don’t.”

“You don’t what?” The tears spill from my eyes as soon as the realization comes into hers.

“I‘m sorry.” And then I run. I run away from seeing the pain in her eyes and the tears. I get into my car and I drive because I know if I don’t get away from her I’ll change my mind.

I knock not really knowing what to do but hoping she is there. She opens the door and I see the panic look in her eyes when she sees me. I don’t let her speak though.

“I love her.” I cry feeling the hollowness in my stomach, because I know this isn’t something I will be able to fix with her. I can’t just tell her it was a mistake, or tell her that I do love her. “I love her and I had to, you were right, I had to let her go because I will hurt her. I’m dangerous in more ways than one, you were right. I love her and I had to let her go, right? Tell me I’m right that I had to do this. She told me she loved me and I told her that I didn’t love her back. I let her go.” Hope pulls me into her arms and I let her hold my weight.

“You were right.”


	9. Chapter 9

“Alex you need to wake up.” Hope nudges me softly but it makes me just want to stay under the covers. “Alex get up, you have to go take your finals and pack.”

“No I don’t want to.” I mumble refusing to acknowledge anything but her bed.

“Get up or I’ll drag you out.” She warns. Hope always ruining everything.

“Fine.” I grown sitting up but then laying back on the bed, “Oh my god I’m so sore.”

“Yeah well you’re the one who has wanted to train all week.” Hope reminds me of my brilliant idea to keep busy with training to forget everything that has happened. We have been nonstop in her gym and my body is taking its toll.

“Yes I’m aware.” I glower.

“So you have two finals and then you need to go back we have to get all your equipment squared away.”

“Yeah I was thinking I would skip the whole packing thing and let you just do it.”

“Alex it has been a week and you can’t keep hiding out here.” Hope pulls the covers off of me. She places her hand on my stomach and shakes me lightly, “Get up, get your shit together, pass these damn finals, pack your shit, and go to New York.”

“I can’t face her Hope.” I shake my head acknowledging the reason why I’ve been holed up at Hope’s for the past week.

“I understand you’re upset but at least Kelley can now be your main focus and Tobin can go living her life. She will get over this and so will you. Now go.” Hope says going to move off the bed but I stop her.

“One more time this morning.” I pull her into me. I press our lips together wanting her to wash away all of the feelings that are torturing me inside. I let the feeling of her lips against my skin replace the heartache, I let the feeling of her finger tips running down my thigh replace the sadness, I let the heat of her breath against my skin replace the guilt, and I let the shallow moans replace the loneliness.

*

I breeze through the last final in Hope’s class knowing she will give me a good enough grade. I wait outside for Kelley who I haven’t really been able to talk to all week. I know she probably knows about Tobin and I don’t want to talk to her about it but I need her to help me.

“Hey Alex.” I look up as Ashlyn walks towards.

“Hey Ashlyn what’s up?” I feel myself sit up a little straighter already feeling defensive.

“Not much just got done my last final.” She looks at me and I know I probably look like a mess.

“Yeah me too it was pretty easy thank god.” I smile trying to keep the conversation light, “So what are the big plans for break?”

“Going to Ali’s parents for Christmas and then going to visit my family.” She shrugs, “You’re going to Kelley’s right?”

“Yeah.” I try to say it nonchalantly.

“Well that should be fun. It will be good for Kelley she always hates going home.”

“It will be nice to have someone to be with for the holidays.”

“You know Tobin is staying here for winter break.” Ashlyn gives me that stern look of disapproval, “She is watching the apartment for us.”

“Ashlyn.” I say her name putting warning into it, “Don’t start okay?”

“I’m not starting anything.” She shrugs, “I mean it’s not my business that you’re scared so you won’t admit your feelings to Tobin that you actually may love her.”

“I don’t need this.” I stand up trying to leave; it’s bad enough dealing with all of this bullshit let alone having Ashlyn rub it in my face.

“I never pegged you as a coward.” Ashlyn pushes like this would actually help.

“Fuck off.” I go to push past her but she grabs my arm and it takes everything inside of me not to break her hand.

“She loves you Alex.” She says it like the resonation in her voice will make me love Tobin. I already love Tobin and I can’t be with Tobin. I wish people would just stay out of my business.

“I don’t love her.” I growl out, ripping her hand off me. Ashlyn looks at me surprised like she’s seen a new side of me in a different light. I can’t have anyone in Kelley’s friend group dislike me so I soften my gaze despite my raging anger, “I can’t.”

“Why?” She asks timidly but her eyes are stern.

“I’ll only hurt her.” I shrug sadly and this time Ashlyn lets me walk away.

*

I go back to my dorm because I don’t really know where else to go. I know I will probably see Kelley later and right now all I want to do is sleep the rest of the day away. I get there and my dorm is empty thankfully. Tobin must be at a final or avoiding me either way I have time for some peace and quiet.

I open my phone to check up on Kelley, I have been doing this frequently lately ever since her deal with Frank didn’t end up happening. Kelley is smart she will find a new dealer and when she does I will be there.

I watch as she goes to her contacts and to my name most likely to call me but a text interrupts her.

Dad 9:13am: When do you arrive?

Kelley 9:13am: Early tomorrow will you be picking us up?

Dad 9:14am: Us? I wasn’t aware anyone was accompanying you.

Kelley 9:15am: Someone from school, Alex, is coming with me for the break. I figured we had enough room and she had nowhere to go. Will you be picking us up?

Dad 9:15am: No Kelley I have meetings but George will be there waiting to pick you up. I will meet you for dinner. Talk to you soon.

I see Kelley type out yeah love you too and then delete it. I know she must be upset because her dad is anything but around. I am excited to finally meet the man who had hired me.

Kelley 9:16am: Ashlyn let’s get drunk tonight with everyone. A last hoorah before we all go on break.

Ashlyn 9:21am: Deal

Well fucking great now I have to socialize when all I want to do is go to Hopes and sleep in her comfy bed. I groan inwardly just wanting today to be over. I get up knowing I should probably start packing so I get my suitcase and start flipping through the clothes I need.

I hear the door open then and Tobin walks in and all I want to do is punch something.

“Tobin.” I drop my clothes in the suitcase.

“Hey Alex.” She nods going over to her bed and sitting down.

“How have you uh been?” I stupidly ask trying to come up with conversation.

“I’m fine how are you?”

“Good glad all the finals are over with.”

“Yeah.” She nods her head in agreement then goes back to reading the sports magazine she just got.

“Tobin listen-” I don’t want to end things weirdly with Tobin and I just don’t want her hating me. I feel like I have to say something, do anything to make her happy.

“I better get going.” She stands up abruptly, “Errands to do catch ya later Lex.” She tries to leave but I block her path.

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” She asks but I see the understanding in her eyes.

“Leave like you don’t want to talk about this or be around me.”

“Yeah says the girl who has been MIA for a week.” She huffs out annoyed.

“I just didn’t know what to say Tobin but I don’t want to lose you as a friend. You’re important to me.”

“Lex I don’t really want to talk about it.” She shrugs looking away from me, “You told me how you feel.” She looks back this time, her eyes staring into mine, “You don’t love me.”

And I know the moment she says it that she doesn’t believe me.

“I’m sorry Tobin.” I look away regretting this decision to talk to her.

“Yeah.” She scoffs shaking her head, “I’ll see you in January.” She passes me leaving for the door and I just can’t let her leave hating me.

“I’ll miss you.” I have never seen Tobin turn around so fast before but her lips are on mine in seconds and before I can stop it, it’s too late. Tobin kisses me with a new sense of fierceness. I can feel the desolation in her lips and I know she knows this is the last time. It’s also the reason I let myself have this.

It’s our goodbye.

She lifts me and slams me into the door. It hurts but I ignore the pain because I would rather feel this and her lips then the ache that’s settled into my chest without her. She moves to my neck and I try to catch my breath but knowing this will be the last time I feel her lips against my skin, my breath disappears entirely.

She pulls away staring into my eyes again and I feel the tears rolling down my cheeks. I can tell she wants to say something because she always does. I know even with the anger she feels towards me that she hates seeing me cry.

“Don’t be afraid.” She brings me to the bed laying me down pressing her weight into me and I want to remember how safe it feels with her. “Stay with me? Don’t go.”

“Please Tobin just kiss me.” I can hear the defeat in my voice. I hear the goodbye in every syllable that leaves my mouth and I know she does too.

We say our goodbye in the only way we know how and as we lay there for the first time I’m the one who cuddles her first.

*

I wake up to an empty bed but it doesn’t surprise me. I finished packing my stuff and figured I would go to Hope’s one last time.

I leave my dorm to my car which is about a ten minute walk. It takes me two seconds to notice the man following me. I make sure he isn’t aware that I’ve spotted him, and I smile at the huge mistake he is about to make. I get to my car and pretend to fumble with my keys when I can sense that he is close by.

When he gets about a foot from me I turn kicking him straight in the stomach. He doubles over but recovers quickly slamming his foot into my car as I dodge his kick. I punch him in the face twice before he can even try to make a grab for me. I slam into his spine with my elbow while he’s doubled over. I go to do it again but he grabs my arm before I get the chance. He spins me around pulling me to him so I slam my heel on his toes and he gives me enough space to turn around and I slam my palm so hard against his nose that I can feel the crunch of it breaking.

“Jesus Christ Morgan.” He yells out, “It’s me.” I straighten myself up as he holds his bloody nose.

“I know.” I throw him a tee shirt from my car and let him hold it to stop the blood, “It’s broken so you might want to get that checked out.”

“You knew it was me?” He scoffs clearly pissed, “You’re a real btich you know that?”

“Well you’re an idiot for trying to follow me instead of just telling me you were here.” I point out.

“You knew it was me.”

“Yeah.”

“You know this is the kind of shit that makes me happy we kicked your ass out.”

“Yeah well it happens.” I shrug not letting his attempt at digs bother me, “What do you want Carrasco?”

“Hope told me our little princess may have a dark secret.” His smirk makes me want to break more bones. “You know maybe this is something that should be taken over by our unit. I’m sure Captain would agree.”

“Until it’s proven it’s still my gig so back the fuck off.” I sneer, “I wasn’t aware Hope was a little rat.”

“You know I was going to give you until school starts up again to find out but now I think I’m going to take this case over and you won’t be anything but a disappointing memory.”

“Better go get that nose checked out.” I glare at him, “Wouldn’t want your pretty face to get messed up.”

“Do not think for a second-”

“Is everything okay here?” I hear her voice and I cringe inside. We turn to see Kelley and Tobin standing there both in defensive stances.

“Everything is fine ladies.” Servando answers but I know they don’t buy it for obvious reasons.

“We just saw everything.” Tobin steps forward, “Who the fuck are you? Alex who is he?”

“Easy there,” Servando chuckles easily making the hairs on my arms stand. “We’re old friends.”

“Listen buddy if you don’t back the fuck off you will regret it.” Kelley gets right in his face and I can’t believe this is happening.

“Guys its okay.” I interject but they don’t back away, “Guys its fine just relax alright.” I step in between them.

“We saw what he did.” Tobin looks at me fiercely, “We saw what you did.”

“I’m telling you that it is okay, I’m fine.” I look her in the eyes because I want her to believe it and for a moment I can tell that she does. Of course Kelley doesn’t see it that way.

“I’ve seen the bruises you constantly leave on her body.” She yells out clearly not buying anything we are saying, “I’ve seen what you have done and don’t think for a second you will get away with it.”

“I’m going to say this politely and I’m only going to say this once,” He steps towards her and I can see she is visibly nervous, “This isn’t anything for you to be concerned about so take your little friend and play hero somewhere else.”

I see the flashing lights and the change in Kelley’s demeanor.

Fucking Christ they called the cops.

*

We spend the next couple of hours in the police station giving statements about the altercations between me and Carrasco. I can see the veins in his forehead by the time he gets released and all I can think about is how pissed off I am at Hope.

“Alex.” Tobin and Kelley are standing outside waiting for me.

I feel way too tired to deal with these two and all I want to do is kill Hope. I can’t believe she went behind my back and told them after she promised me she would wait.

“Listen guys I appreciate you trying to help but that was a mistake.” I rub my eyes trying to hide my frustration, “It wasn’t necessary.”

“Alex you were fighting with him.” Kelley exclaims, “Like physically fighting. How do you expect us to just stand by and watch?”

“I’m just saying the cops didn’t need to be called.”

“How did you know how to fight like that?” Tobin asks and I see the questions forming in her head.

“My parents taught me.” I shrug coming up with the quickest lie, “They wanted me to be able to protect myself which is what I did. Really guys you do not have to worry about me.”

“We care about you.”

“I know thank you.” I smile sincerely because it is nice that they actually do care. “Listen I have some stuff I have to get done so I will see you tonight?”

“Do you want me to go with you?” Tobin offers but I politely decline wanting to just leave.

I get to Hopes house and the rage is still flowing inside of me. I open the door knowing she probably expects me and when I walk in I know she has because she blocks my punch easily. I kick her in the stomach sending her back and I continue to block her advances. I connect her face and she flies to the ground. I don’t waste time waiting for her to get up before I swing again.

“How could you?” I spit out hitting her again.

“Alex.” She spits out blood glaring at me. “This is not my fault.”

“I had it.” I punch her again and this time she isn’t quick to regain composure, “I told you I could handle it and that I was going to get more information when I go with her on break. Why bother telling me to do all this if you were just going to hand it over?”

My fist connects again and I know she can’t take much more but the anger has completely taken over.

“You ruined my chance to prove I deserve to come back.” I raise my fist again.

“Alexandra enough.” I hear the familiar voice that freezes me in my place. I look down at Hope’s eyes and finally see the message she was trying to send me.

“Captain.” I sit there staring at hope trying to let it sink in that she is here. I stand up turning around to see the woman who recruited me years ago.

“I see your discipline hasn’t improved during your leave of absence.” She looks at me judgingly and it makes my skin crawl.

“Wasn’t expecting you.” I smile but it’s anything but friendly.

“Yes well here I am to witness one of my former top agents acting so childish.” She stands up walking towards me, “To see you like this it’s despicable, you were one of our most promising agents.”

“Yeah well it was your decision to remove me, remember?” I challenge her.

“Yes I remember precisely how your impulsive decisions ended with the death of one of our best agents.” Her words cut into me and I remember how well she is able to break us down. “Alexandra if you want back in this agency then you have to stop this behavior. We gave you a second chance to redeem yourself and you are going to ruin it with this behavior.”

“I have been doing my job.”

“Really?” She steps towards me and looks at Hope who is standing behind me. Her face is already bruising and her nose and lip bloody. “Hope is your superior and you will do as she says no arguments do you understand?”

“Yes.” I feel like a child being reprimanded.

“We do not act this way.” She chastises me, “We are professionals and we hold ourselves to the highest standards.”

“I understand.”

“Where is Agent Carrasco? He was supposed to get you.” She notices his absence.

“Uh well he is either at the Police Station or Hospital.” I look down not wanting to think about the repercussions of this.

“And why is that?” Her voice is dark and the more I recall the story the more her veins on her forehead become prominent. “Alexandra I will give you until the beginning of next semester to figure this out or else you and Hope will be considered terminated.”

She turns to leave and I don’t say anything because I know the finality of the conversation from her tone.

“This is your last chance.” She turns towards me and then Hope, “Don’t disappoint me.” She slams the door behind her and I can feel the words cutting through the tension in the room.

I look back and see the fear in Hope’s eyes and it all clicks then. I know she can see in my eyes everything clicking together.

I turn to leave not sure what emotions I’m feeling at this point.

“Alexandra wait.” She starts approaching me so I turn around before she can touch me.

“Fuck you.” I spit out feeling the rage beginning to swell again, “This whole time you’ve been in the babysitting unit too.”

“I understand why you would be mad.”

“Why the hell did they kick you out?” I can’t wrap my head around why she got kicked out when she wasn’t involved in the case.

“Because I loved you.” She stands up straight, “Because I made you stay with me that day because Abby told me not to let you go. Because I knew she was going alone and I didn’t tell anyone. I got kicked out because I let my relationship with you get in the way…because I killed my best friend to protect you when I should’ve been there with her.” Hope starts choking up and I know I should be too. I should cry or yell or something but I don’t feel anything. I shut it off because we were trained that way. If we didn’t want to feel we shut it off and that’s exactly what I’m doing.

“You got kicked out for loving me?” I shake my head in disbelief, “That’s fucking stupid. If they kicked you out because of me why are you in charge of me again?”

“To see if I can pass their test.” She flinches as she wipes her eyes, “To see if I let my feelings for you cloud my judgment again.”

“How’s your face?” I ask switching from the heavy topic I don’t want to get into.

“How do you think?” She glares at me, “You have to learn to control your anger Alex or you will never make it into the agency again.”

“Yeah yeah yeah whatever come with me.” I grab her hand pulling her into the bathroom. I sit her on the toilet and get the first aid kit she has. I clean her cuts, giving her some Advil, and an ice pack for the bruises forming on her face.

“You know I didn’t tell Carrasco.” Hope explains, “They keep track of me just like I keep track of you.”

“I’m sorry for-” I point to her face seeing all the forming bruises and cuts. “She was right I’m not disciplined.”

“Well that’s something we can work on.” She shrugs, not holding a grudge against me for her face.

“Why are you so understanding with me?” I ask not understanding how she can be so calm and forgiving.

“Because you are you.” She shrugs like that’s enough.

“I’m sorry about your face but I think I know what will make you feel a little bit better.” I bring her into her bedroom lying down on the bed. I pull her into me and I turn on her TV flipping to the food network. We used to do this a lot, lie in bed and watch the food network like we were actually normal.

“I missed this” I can hear the smile in her voice and we lay like that the rest of the night.

*

“Alex where the hell have you been?” Kelley is sitting on my bed. I can tell by Tobin’s side of the room that she is already gone.

 “Relax Kell I’m here and I’m not late for the airport.” I yawn in desperate need of coffee.

“Where were you last night?” She stands up pulling my suitcase with her. “You didn’t show up at Ashlyn’s everyone wanted to say goodbye. Tobin was upset that you didn’t say goodbye. We were really worried about you.”

“We?” I ignore the comment about Tobin not wanting to think about it anymore. We said goodbye, we get the space to move on, and I can focus on my job.

“Everyone kept asking where you were.” She starts to unplug any possible appliance as she continues to talk, “We came back to the dorm and you still weren’t here.”

“I was just catching my breath that’s all.” I grab my suitcase pulling her up from the floor, “Let’s get this break going shall we?”

We get to the airport on time despite Kelley’s constant complaints of my slow driving. It’s an easy trip, one that we have both made countless times by now. We both spend most of the time going in and out of sleep.

She is resting her head on my shoulder snoring lightly when the flight attendant tells us to put our seatbelts on. I shake her lightly and she jumps a little at the sudden movements.

“Put your seatbelt on.” I laugh at how disheveled she looks. We land and we get our bags from baggage claim.

“He is probably outside.”

“Who is?” I ask pretending that I don’t know.

“George.” She walks a little ahead of me and she immediately spots the car. There is an old man with a cute white mustache in a black suit beaming at Kelley.

“Miss O’Hara.” He nods politely at her.

“George.” She nods back and I seriously feel like I’m in Beverly Hills or something. She probably has a big fancy mansion with big fancy rooms and super polite staff.

“Come here squirt.” He opens his arms and she squeezes him tightly laughing. “Oh how we have missed you Kell.”

Well this isn’t what I expected.

“I missed you George how are you?” She smiles stepping back to get a good look at him, “Did you get my emails?”

“Yes of course of course.” He smiles, “You know me though don’t know how to work a damn computer to save my life.” She laughs at that and it’s a lighter laugh than I have heard before.

“George this is Alex Morgan, my friend I told you about.”

“Ah Miss Morgan it is a pleasure.” He shakes my hand and I can’t help but feel warmth to him. “I have heard so many great things about you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too.” I make a mental note to check Kelley’s emails to see what she has been discussing with George.

“Well shall we get to the house?” George offers opening our doors for us. When I get into the car there are blankets waiting for us and I thank George silently. The temperature difference from Cali to New York is very different.

We drive for a couple hours and I realize Kelley doesn’t live directly in NYC like I had thought. We get to her house and I have to do everything to not let my mouth drop.

It’s fucking huge.

“Alright ladies why don’t you go inside and get warmed up while I unpack your bags.”

“Thank you George.” We both say and she grabs my hand walking us to the house.

I walk inside and just the entry way is already breathtaking. The house has high ceilings with beautiful stone walls and wooden floors. The furniture looks like it comes right out of a fancy magazine. The lighting accentuates all of the right features in the house. I am so taken back and I’ve barely seen the rest of it.

“This is beautiful.” I breathe out feeling the warmth and hominess of it.

“Thank you.”

“What’s wrong?” I ask her seeing the look in her eyes.

“My small dorm room feels more like home.” She shrugs, “Come on I’ll have you meet the staff.”

She introduces me to several house keepers who live in a staff quarters in the back of the house. I get a whiff of something amazing as we walk into the kitchen. Kelley immediately runs at a man who is tall and lanky. His features are friendly and I can tell he is just as excited to see her.

“Henry.” She laughs as he picks her up swinging her around.

“How I have missed you Kell.” He laughs and it looks like he has tears in his eyes. He places her down and she wipes away at hers.

“I missed you so much Henry.” She cries more happy tears.

“Who is this dashing woman?” He smiles towards me and I now notice his British accent.

“This is Alex Morgan.” She turns to me introducing me to him. He shakes my hand and I feel the same warmth from him as I did George.

“It is lovely to finally meet you.”

“How many people know about me?” I tease Kelley lightly.

“Well how can she not,” He smiles proudly, “It is not every day we get to meet Kelley’s girlfriend.”

What? I look at Kelley who looks away shyly. She told them I was her girlfriend. I internally shake my head but I don’t say anything.

“Well it is so nice to have you here Alex it isn’t often we get to meet Kelley’s friends. I made you guys some congratulatory cookies on finishing the semester.”

We spend the next hour catching up with Henry and George who are enthralled with everything Kelley says. I can tell they really care about her and I can see how much she cares for them. It is a different side of Kelley, one that I don’t mind getting to witness.

*

“We need to get up soon.” Kelley mumbles into her pillow. We have been sleeping for the past hour trying to catch up on all the sleep we missed during the semester.

“Let’s skip dinner, sleep all night, and then just have breakfast.” I offer not wanting to move.

“We can’t my dad is coming for dinner.” She groans. I turn on my side to face her but she stays face down in the pillow.

“Does your dad not live here?” I ask wanting her to open up about him, “Like why is it an ordeal?”

“Technically he lives here I guess but he has an apartment in NYC where his office is. It’s easier to bring women home that way.” She turns to me and I see the disgust in her eyes.

“Not much of a father?”

“The staff here raised me they are more of a family than he or my mother ever was.”

“Well I really like George and Henry they’re really nice.”

“Yes they are.” She smiles thinking about them.

“Kell, why did you tell them that you were dating me?” Her expression doesn’t change when I ask she just stares at me.

“Because I knew my father would find out eventually and I know how much he would love that.” I can hear the sneer in her voice and how much anger she has towards her father for never being around.

“So what’s the plan? Should I be all over you? What would bother him?”

“Seriously?” She asks in disbelief.

“Yeah.” I know he hired me but he is a dick and I don’t mind messing with him.

“I would never mess with him like that.” She shakes her head, “He isn’t someone to fuck with.”

There is a knock on the door and a woman comes in. Her name is Olivia I think tells us that my father has arrived and dinner is waiting for us.

Kelley hurries to get ready and I throw my hair up in a ponytail and change into something more professional.  We walk downstairs and I immediately smell cigar smoke. He is sitting in a room Kelley calls the parlor which in my opinion is just a room to get drunk in.

He looks up, slick black hair, dark beard that’s nicely trimmed, and menacing blue eyes. He reminds me of the millions of businessmen I have dealt with through the agency. He would be intimidating if I didn’t know how to kill him in a matter of seconds.

“Kelley.” He looks up, eyeing her over like he is analyzing every detail about him.

“Hey Dad.” She walks over to him but he doesn’t get up. She kisses his cheek but his features still remain hard. He makes me want to punch him in the face.

“You look thin.”

“Uh thanks dad.” She shifts uncomfortably.

“What should I be expecting for a GPA this semester?”

“I don’t know dad I took a couple hard courses so 3.5 maybe.” She shrugs looking extremely uncomfortable.

“A 3.5? I didn’t send you across the country to an expensive college for a 3.5.” His tone screams dissatisfaction that makes me cringe, “If I had known you would be wasting my money I wouldn’t have sent you there.”

“She tutors three days a week, the president of like four clubs on campus, she is a collegiate athlete who helped her team win the National Championship, and taking a full course load. You’re seriously going to say that you’re wasting your money because she may have a 3.5 GPA this semester?” I say it in a calm voice the one I used to use on people in interrogation. I see the goose bumps forming on Kelley’s forearms from my peripheral vision.

I see the veins in his neck bulge out and the whiteness of his knuckles as he clenches his fist. He finishes his drink while his eyes rake over me.

“And you are?” His voice is threatening.

“Alexandra Morgan.” My voice is ominous and I know he hears it, “I’m Kelley’s girlfriend.”

*

The meeting wasn’t a pleasant one and as dinner goes on it becomes more apparent that this man is a complete douche bag.

“So Alexandra.” He begins and I let him call me Alexandra. It reminds me of the fierce killer I used to be and I want him to be aware of that. I want him to be aware of what I’m capable of. “Tell me a little about yourself.” He smirks a little knowing fully well who I am.

“I’m a sophomore like Kelley who also played as forward on the soccer team. I don’t have anywhere close to a 3.5 GPA nor do I care to.”

“Ah I see.” His tone disapproving, “And what about your parents? What do they do?”

“Well sir my parents both died in a car accident.” I fight back the urge to show any emotion, “That’s where Kelley and I connected we both grew up without parents.” I can see the rage in his blue eyes.

I feel Kelley’s foot lightly hit my leg which turns my attention to her instead of her father.

“Dad are you going to be staying here?” Kelley asks wanting to break the tension.

“No Kell I’m afraid not.” He turns to her his eyes softening ever so slightly, “Unfortunately I have business meetings in the city all week but I’m sure you will find things to occupy your time with.”

“Will you be here for Christmas?”

“I will try my hardest.” He replies but you can hear the uncertainty in his voice, “Maybe you two can come into the city sometime and spend some time with me.”

“I would like that.” She smiles politely but I can see the sadness in her eyes. Despite Kelley’s constant digs at her father I know she cares about him and wants his approval.

I try to be polite the rest of the time while Kelley and her father desperately dig for conversation. I watch them interact and I can see where Kelley gets her devilish, mystery façade from.

“Dinner was delicious.” Kelley compliments Henry as he comes out to offer dessert.

“It was a little bland.” Kelley’s dad criticizes and that’s as much as I can take.

“Wow.” I scoff causing everyone to turn their attention to me, “Please excuse me. Henry dinner was delicious.” I walk away from the table not being able to spend another second with this pompous asshole.

*

I spend the next couple hours upstairs letting Kelley spend time with her father. I decide to spend my time rummaging through Kelley’s stuff. I only have a couple of weeks to figure out what she is up to so I minus well get started and do it now.

I don’t find anything unusual in the first two suitcases but in her small carryon bag I find a track phone. I immediately call my number so I can have the number on my phone and delete my number from the call log on the track phone.

“Hello?”

“I need you to trace a number for me, I want all numbers on this phone whether they were received or dialed out. I want all text message content sent to me.”

“Okay what is the number?” Hope asks and I give it to her.

“Hope I don’t need anyone getting in my way.” I tell her warning her to let me get this information and figure it out before the agency finds out.

“Okay I’ll send it when I’m done.”

It only takes a matter of minutes for Hope to somehow get all of the information on the phone. She sends it in different files for me to look over. I grab my laptop scrolling through all of the different numbers.

I read one of the texts which have my attention.

“I have all of it. I will meet you December 18th I will send directions to this phone the night before.” I look at her simple reply and I can tell this must be Frank.

So Frank must be in New York.

“Hope.”

“Found something already?”

“Yes I sent you a number and I want you to tell me where the calls are coming from.”

“On it.” I wait on the phone knowing it won’t take very long.

“The number is coming up in a house that is for sale. It’s about twenty minutes from you in a gated community.” She tells me the address and I lock it into my GPS on my phone

“Thanks.” I hang up the phone and put the track phone back where it was. I know if I meet with Frank then I can get answers but for now I just have to be patient.

I go downstairs to find Kelley figuring that her father has left by now. It’s such a big house it takes me awhile to figure out where everything is or where she could be.

 

“Alexandra.” I hear his voice and turn around to see him sitting in a chair in the parlor room with a sneer on his face.

 

“Mr. O’Hara.” I nod acknowledging him, “Where is Kelley?”

 

“Busy.” He stands up walking towards me, “That was quite the show.”

 

“Yes well you’re quite the father.” I retort. There are those veins again.

 

“I heard about you, you know. The promising agent who was kicked out for killing her partner and now is demoted to babysitting.”

 

“Something like that.” Do not let him get to you I remind myself.

 

“Let’s get something clear here Miss Morgan, you work for me so if you ever display that kind of disrespect to me especially in my house I will have you removed immediately. You will never step foot in that agency again.”

 

I chuckle grabbing his drink from his hand and drinking the rest of it.

 

“Let’s get something clear here.” I smile innocently, “If you so much as ever try to threaten me again or put down your daughter I will I break every fucking bone in your body, “I break the glass in my hand wanting to scare him, “Do not think for a second that I will not wipe that stupid condescending look off of your face.”

 

“Consider yourself fired then.” I laugh even louder now but even I am surprised by the menacing sound that comes out.

 

“You think I care?” I laugh dropping the glass on the floor. My hand is bleeding from the glass but I don’t show any signs of pain, “If you think for one second that I actually give a shit about this job or anything else you are vastly mistaken.”

 

“I have heard otherwise.”

 

“You should know something about me Mr. O’Hara before this conversation finishes. I don’t give a fuck about anything; it’s actually a specialty of mine not to feel. So if you think threatening to fire me or actually doing it will affect me in the slightest it won’t.”

“I think you care very much actually.”

“Really?” I raise my eyebrow and I can see his uncertainty in his voice, “Lets test it shall we? I wonder where your daughter is right now. Maybe we should tell her how her father hired someone to babysit her because he doesn’t care enough to actually act like a parent.”

 

I turn around to go find her and I know before I even count to three his mind will be slowly reevaluating the situation.

 

“You wouldn’t.”

 

“Oh I would.” I turn back around stepping closer to him, “I have met assholes like you and I know how you all work. You think you’re better than everyone else, you think power and money are the most important things, and for some reason you actually think people care. Well let me fill you in on a little secret.” I smirk grabbing his tie to straighten it, blood staining everywhere I touch, “No one gives a shit about you.”

 

“Your boss will hear about this.” He growls but I hear the defeat in his voice.

 

“See the thing about that Mr. O’Hara is I don’t have one anymore, remember kicked out?” I look him dead in the eye, “So care to share anything else with me?”

 

“I do not want you involved with Kelley other than being a friend.” It surprises me when he says it because who knew he even cared.

“She has an innocent crush on me and we aren’t dating.” I admit, “She just wanted to get her father’s attention.”

“I see well alright then this discussion is over.” He turns around but stops short of his chair, “I may not be around but her protection is important to me.” He clears his throat pouring another drink.

“Well do your job and I’ll do mine.” I turn around ready for this conversation to end.

“And what would my job be?” I hear the sarcasm in his voice.

“Being a father.”

*

Kelley is lying in bed when I finally go upstairs and I can tell by the look she gives me that she isn’t very happy with me.

I lay down next to her pulling her closer to me as I rest my head next to hers wrapping my arm around her.

“Don’t be mad.” I breathe out feeling tired.

“You didn’t have to be such an asshole to my dad tonight Alex,” Her voice is angry but filled with sadness, “That wasn’t cool or a good first impression.”

“I’m not trying to impress your father.” I scoff not understanding why she would think I wanted to.

“Well it was important to me that he likes you.” She pulls away from me standing up, “I’m going to go sleep in the guest room.”

“Why are you leaving Kelley? He was such a dick to you and you didn’t deserve that. I was sticking up for you so how can you be mad at me.”

“I didn’t need you to stick up for me.” She argues back, “That is just how he is, he wants me to do the best I can. He is just hard that’s all.”

“All semester you talked about how you could care less about him and all of a sudden you’re sticking up for him?”

“He is my dad.” She says it like that should explain everything.

“Okay well I’m sorry I just got mad that he was putting you down because you’re anything but a disappointment.” I breathe out not wanting to make her mad. I have to get closer to her not push her away.

She steps towards me searching my eyes to see if I’m lying. Her eyes soften when she sees that I’m telling the truth and a small smile plays across her face.

“Come on.” She ushers me towards the door.

“Where are we going?” I ask confused.

“We have a Jacuzzi.”

“I didn’t bring a bathing suit.” I point out but she just looks back at me with a mischievous grin, pulling her shirt off.

“So?”

*

It’s been a couple of days and all Kelley and I have done is relax and hang out with the staff. She lives far enough away from the city where it would be pointless to drive there but I don’t mind the time I’ve had with her.

We’re on our second season of Glee and I want to pull my eyes out. She is obsessed with this show and I can’t stand the poor acting and obnoxious songs.

“Can we please watch something else?” I groan when the episode ends and I see her want to go to another one.

“What but we’re almost done this season.” She pouts at me and I know I’m not going to win.

“Whatever.”  She turns it on but for the past couple of hours she has barely been watching it. She is texting away on her phone so my boredom and curiosity get the best of me.

I scroll through her messages to see who she has been texting and there is a conversation I decide to read.

Tobin 6:25pm: How’s it going?

Kelley 6:25pm: Not much just relaxing, watching Glee with Alex. What are you up to?

Tobin 6:28pm: Nothing really just house sitting for Ash and Ali. Listen I haven’t been able to find much on her honestly.

Kelley 6:29pm: Did you check out her record in the office?

Tobin 6:30pm: No not yet

Kelley 6:32pm: Dude I gave you keys to the building so you could check like let’s go

Tobin 6:33pm: I know I got this.

Kelley 6:33pm: I know she is hiding something I just don’t know what and I want to find out.

Well fuck.

I look at Kelley and catch her staring at me. I want to break that phone but instead I go to my back up.

I text Hope, hoping she can fix this.

Hope 6:36pm: Your record we sent in is spot on. There are no holes and if they look on the internet your cover story matches as well even high school, soccer, parents, etc. You are fine they won’t find anything.

Alex 6:36pm: Thanks Hope remind me to thank you when I get back;)

Hope 6:41pm: I count on it.

I delete my text messages and change my password again feeling extremely paranoid now. I look up and she looks to the TV quickly. I feel angry and betrayed for her going behind my back snooping.

I stare at her until she shifts uncomfortably.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom do you uh want anything?” She asks visibly uncomfortable.

“No that’s okay.” I smile politely at her but my eyes are dark and I know she’s scared.

She leaves the room and I let this newly found information sink in. Kelley thinks I’m hiding something so she is doing a background check on me.

Tobin is too and that’s what bothers me the most.

I hear footsteps so I stand up walking towards the entry way. We’re in her basement which is like a mini theatre. You have to come down the stairs to get to the room and I can hear her almost at the bottom.

The moment I see her I slam her into the wall she gasps out in surprise. I don’t let her speak not wanting anything but to quiet her mind. I kiss her aggressively just wanting her to forget about all of her suspicions. I kiss her because I’m angry, because I’m bored, and because I want the physical contact.

It doesn’t take her long to kiss me back. She kisses me fiercely like she is trying to compete against me which just ignites the tension between us. I pick her up letting her wrap her legs around my waist. I pull her shirt off easily staring at her chest splattered in freckles. I kiss her neck and she lets out a moan. She tangles her hands in my hair encouraging me to push myself into her getting a different reaction from her.

“Alex-” She breathes out but stops when she hears a man clear his throat. We both jolt our attention to George.

“Dinner is ready.” He eyes us disapprovingly.

“Thank you George.” Kelley says pushing me away a little to let her down. “Be up soon.”

He nods with a smirk before walking upstairs and I put my hair up looking at Kelley with a devilish grin.

“Are you hungry?” She asks me looking a little embarrassed that George just walked in on us.

“Hmm,” I step towards her giving her a quick kiss before sliding my lips up her jaw to her ear, “Extremely.” I whisper seductively wanting to leave her craving more. I walk upstairs giving her time to let the desire sink in.

*

Kelley and I eat dinner in silence while Henry and George banter back and forth about topics I don’t really care for.

“So ladies would we like dessert or do you have other plans?” Henry smiles suggestively and I know that George filled him in.

“I’m actually full Henry thank you so much for dinner it was amazing.”

“Well thank you Alex it’s nice to see that someone enjoys my cooking.” He looks towards Kelley, “Unlike this one over here who has barely touched her food.”

“I’m sorry Henry I’m just lost in thought.” She smiles apologetically eating a couple bites of her chicken parmesan. “We’re going to head upstairs and hang out.”

We excuse ourselves from the table and make our way to her bedroom. She doesn’t say anything to me she just starts rummaging through her drawers. I walk up behind her grabbing her waist to pull her closer to me. I kiss her shoulder but she doesn’t react like she did.

“Come lay with me.” I ask wanting, “What are you even looking for.”

She pulls out a bottle of tequila and walks towards the bed. I stand there eyeing her suspiciously as she sits there staring at me.

“I want to play a game.”

“Okay what kind of game?” I ask already dreading this.

“I want to get to know you so for every fact about you that you tell me I’ll take off a piece of clothing.”

“What’s the alcohol for?”

“Just some liquid courage that’s all.” She takes a swig of the tequila and holds it out for me.

“Jesus.” I groan taking a large sip of tequila. Its cheap tequila and I know this won’t affect me like it would her so I play this to my advantage. “Alright let’s get this over with.”

“Alright first question what made you come to Stanford?”

“Soccer obviously.”

“But you went someone where else first so why did you leave?”

“I got kicked out for punching my professor in the face.” I shrug remembering how good it felt feeling my fist connect to his face, “He deserved it anyways that’s two articles of clothing now.”

“I’ll take it off when I like your answers.”

“Trust me you won’t.” My laugh depicts anything but humor.

“Do you have feelings for Tobin?”

“Yes.” There is no point in lying about it. She looks at me for a moment before pulling her shirt off.

“Do you have feelings for me?” I turn around walking over to her dresser. I don’t know how to answer that because I don’t know if I do. I know there is an attraction between us that isn’t easily ignored. I know I like spending time with her and that she has so many different sides to her. She keeps me on my toes but the secrets keep me at a distance. “Alex?”

I hear the worried undertone of my name coming out of her mouth. If I want to succeed at this then I have to play her emotions to my advantage.

“Yes.” I look at her quickly feeling the red flush on my face that mirrors hers.

“Who was that man who you were fighting with?” She unbuttons her jeans and pulls them off leaving her in blue lace underwear and bra.

Kelley has an amazing body and my eyes slowly marvel every inch of her.

“His name is Servando and I’ve known him for a while. We have a very love hate relationship you could say. He used to go to my old school.”

“What was he doing the other day?”

“He was just checking in on me, he’s like the brother I never wanted.” I shrug it off.

“Where did you learn to fight like that?”

“My parents taught me at a young age to defend myself and when they passed I continued to go to classes to learn. I refuse to be weak to anyone.”

“Will you teach me?” I look at her a little surprised by her answer. “Teach me some stuff?”

“Sure.” She goes to unclasp her bra but holds it against her chest. She sees the change in my eyes, the hunger and wanting that’s there.

“Biggest regret?”

“Pass.” I don’t feel like getting into this considering there isn’t much that I do that I don’t regret.

“Have you ever been in love before?”

“Yes.” I state flatly not wanting to get into this.

“With who?”

“Not someone I want to discuss.”

“You have to Alex.” She passes me the bottle again. “What happened?”

“Things got complicated.”

“That isn’t a good enough answer for me.” She clasps her bra back and stands up walking towards me, determined to figure me out.

“I’m not delving into my past so if this is what you wanted then I’m sorry.” I hand her the bottle back.

“What are you so afraid of Alex?” Kelley scoffs angrily, “I thought maybe this vacation would help get to know each other better but you’re still the closed off.”

“Says the girl with all the secrets.” I retort back.

“Yeah well at least I’m trying Alex.” She looks me dead in the eye, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She walks out of the room to go sleep in the guest room. I don’t stop her because I don’t feel like opening up with her. Tomorrow I’m going to go have a visit with Frank and I’m going to figure out what the hell is going on.

*

It’s around 3:40am and I’ve been waiting impatiently on the couch. It was easy to distract the security guard, drug him, and then shut off the security cameras.

It was extremely easy breaking into this house without a sound. I see Franks head sway and I instantly feel the adrenaline course through my body.

He groans and I know he’s coming to.

“Hello Frank.”

“What.” He mumbles out, “What happened?”

“Well I snuck into your house, I went into your bedroom, I woke you up, and then I hit you over the head and tied you to this chair.” I remind him of the brief encounter we had a half an hour ago.

He realizes his surroundings now and instantly begins to struggle against his restraints.

“What the fuck.” He spits out, “Who are you?”

“Well Frank I’ve been a fan of yours for a while now and I know you have been in the black market and currently in the process of making a delivery.”

“What are you a cop?”

“No I’m worse.” I hit the bat against his kneecap and he groans out in pain. “Now like I was saying, you have been making deals with someone and I want to know what it is.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He’s defiant which will make this more fun. I hit his other knee cap and grunts out again.

“You see I figured you would be the stubborn type.” I chuckle easily, “But that’s good for me because that means all of my frustration that I’ve had to bottle up I can know express in a healthy way.”

“Who are you?”

“Frank you’re not really in the position to be asking questions.” I pull up a seat and sit next to him, “Now who are you supposed to be meeting today?”

“No one-” He clenches his teeth together as the bat connects with his stomach. He loses his breath so I take a moment to bring the table closer to us so he can see what he is in for.

“So sorry Frank you were saying?”

“Go to hell.”

“Well that was rude and frankly I’m a little hurt.” I stand up looking at the tools I’ve brought with me. “This is really simple, I ask questions and you tell me answers, no one has to get hurt. So let us try this again who are you dealing for?”

“Multiple people.” We are getting somewhere.

“Who?”

“I- I can’t tell you.”

“Why not?”

“Because they will kill me.” I laugh thinking about Kelley killing anyone but then something clicks.

“If you give me the information I need I won’t kill you.” I offer him a deal hoping he will gain some sort of trust with me, “I’ll untie you and we can pretend this never happened.”

“You’re lying.”

“Maybe.” I sit back down, “How will you know though right? I mean I could still kill you but I won’t so tell me and I’ll let you go.”

“I work for a major dealer who deals all through the east coast.”

“But you’ve been in California for a while now.” I note.

“Yes well they are trying to expand to the west coast as well but they have to check out territories so I’ve been out there checking out potential clienteles.”

“What is it that you’re dealing?”

“Heroin.”

“How are they getting it?”

“I don’t know I don’t get the details.” He lets out a frustrated sigh, “All I know is that when I got out after being locked up and they gave me a house, money, means of transportation, a phone, and some jobs to do.”

“Why were they interested in you?”

“I’m extremely experienced in dealing illegal stuff so they look at me as valuable. I’m one of the keys to knowing all of the underground spots and deliveries.” He says it proudly making me want to break his teeth.

“Tell me the name of the person you work for.”

“I don’t know who it is.”

“You’re lying.” I notice his tell and can automatically see when he isn’t telling the truth. I walk over to the fireplace grabbing the poker that I’ve been heating up.

“Who do you work for?” My voice alarming him.

“I-I said I don’t know.” I shove a piece of cloth in his mouth and press the poker in the palm of his hand. I smell a small burning sensation and know when I pull the poker out of his grip that skin will be coming too.

I give him a couple of moments to breathe through the searing sensation in his hand.

I put the poker back in the fireplace and turn back to him. I pull the cloth out grabbing his face to look at me.

“I know when you are lying so unless you want that to happen again I suggest you start talking.”

“I don’t know directly who I am working for. I deal with all of the workers he has hired. Someone that powerful wouldn’t get involved in the dirty work. He is the mastermind but that’s all I know.”

“Well who do you talk to directly?”

“His name is Aiden that’s all I know. They work together but that’s all I know.”

“Where do I find this Aiden person?”

“California.” He groans out still feeling the pain in his palm. I will have to deal with him when I get back there.

“Are you selling Heroin to a girl at Stanford?” I ask seeing the way his eyes change the more he thinks about it.

“Kelley?” He lets out grunt that I take as his laugh and shakes his head. “Are you joking?”

“If you aren’t dealing Heroin to her than what are you?” I stand up over him wanting to intimidate him.

“In that closet is her shipment.” He turns his head over to a door. It has a lock on it so I grab my bolt cutters and cut it open. There are at least five duffels bags in here.

I can feel my heart racing, pissed that she is working with this guy, pissed she is fucking up her life, and I’m scared what I may find.

I unzip the bags and it takes me a second to fully understand.

“What the fuck?” I reach into the bag and pull out cleats and shingaurds. I open the other bag and there are more and with every bag I open all I find is soccer gear.

I stand up grabbing the poker and I put it up to his face.

“Wait wait wait what are you doing?” He screams out.

“You think this is some fucking joke.” I growl out letting his face feel the warmth radiating from it.

“Stop stop this isn’t a joke.” He cries out and I see the tears in his eyes, “That is her order. She buys black market prices because they’re so much cheaper than going to a store.”

“What the fuck is it all for?”

“She is going to donate it to kids.” He breathes out when I pull away the shears.

“Isn’t daddy rich? Why doesn’t she ask him for the money?” I question not getting why Kelley had to go to this length to do it.

“Because daddy doesn’t just fork over money for things like this and obviously she doesn’t want him knowing for a reason but I don’t know why. KO and I aren’t the closest.”

“How did she find you?” I ask sitting down in front of him.

“She didn’t find me, I found her.”

“Why?”

“Because that was one of my jobs.” He shrugs like it doesn’t matter, “She used to buy some stuff for local kids and they wanted me to convince her I could offer her a better deal. I never thought she would be such a raging bitch though.”

“That doesn’t make sense.” I stand up realizing this is worse than I thought, “Why would Heroin dealers want you to occupy a girl who is buying soccer shit through the black market?”

“I don’t know.” I can see the lie in his eyes as soon as he speaks. I punch him in the nose breaking it instantly. Blood pours out and he curses at me spitting blood out of his month.

“Why are they interested in her?” I ask calmly as he cries out again. I swear he has the lowest pain tolerance I have ever seen.

“I don’t know all I know is that they wanted to make sure she kept buying from me. They wanted me to keep an eye on her.” He spits blood out of his mouth, “They told me eventually to offer her a job."

“Work for you as in deal for you? What Heroin?” I feel my blood boil.

“Yes but that’s all I know. They give me instructions and I don’t ask, these aren’t the type of people you ask questions.”

“Is there anything else you can tell me?” I give him one last chance because I have enough information to know what I need.

“No that’s all I know.” I know he is lying. Frank is a smart guy despite all of his stupidity and he knows when to really keep his mouth shut.

“Well Frank now here is my dilemma. There is a reason you were meeting her here today and I don’t think it was just about the delivery.” I pull out his phone waving it in front of him and he immediately tenses. “You were supposed to ask her today to work for you and if she refused you had to ‘make her want to work for us’ and ‘don’t let her leave until she agrees no matter what force you have to use’.

“I-” I see the fear in his eyes and it’s exactly what I want.

“Now I don’t know if you know this about me but I’m very skilled in a lot of things, especially finding things. For example how I found every camera in this house and wired every single one to make it a continually loop so no one knows I’m here. I turned off the microphones so no one can hear me. I also snooped through your phone so sorry for doing that. Actually wanna see something cool?”

I tape Frank’s mouth shut and dial a number to a phone that is currently in New Mexico. It goes to voicemail so I leave a message.

“Hey its me.” I say it through the machine and what comes out sounds exactly like this voice. His eyes go wide with terror, “I’m just letting you know that our plan is running smoothly. I rigged all of the cameras and all the stuff is ready to go. Remember I’ll meet you in New Mexico in a couple of days when it dies down. I have to make sure they think I completely disappeared off the map before I make it to you. We’re going to be rich.”

I hang up his phone and can only imagine the surprise that his dealers will have when they listen to his voicemail. His phone has a tracking device and bug in it so it records anyone he talks to. It shows me what kind of power he is dealing with.

I rip off his tape knowing the verbal attack that is coming.

“You stupid bitch.” He screams at me, “They will kill me.”

“See Frank they can’t kill you because you’re already dead.” I see the look in his eyes when I pull out my gun and aim it at his head.

 


	10. Chapter 10

I bend down kissing Kelley’s forehead wanting to wake her up. She stirs a little but rolls over facing away from me. I know she is still mad at me for last night but I need her to forgive me.

“Kell come on look at me.” She doesn’t budge so I sigh out and get into bed with her. I prop myself up on my elbow and use the other arm to wrap around her. “I stopped loving her.”

“Who?” She murmurs.

“My girlfriend.” She turns around to face me now but doesn’t say anything else. “I grew up being taught that love makes you weak. I became very good at shutting off my feelings, it was easier that way to go on with life. Then I met her and everything changed. There was something about her that was so intriguing and somehow I fell in love.”

“So why is that so bad?”

“Everything comes at a price.” I breathe out.

“What was the price?” Kelley asks turning completely towards me.

“My best friend died, she was killed actually.” I breathe out wanting to be able to hold my composure, “I was supposed to be with her but instead I was with my girlfriend, she had convinced me to stay with her. I tried calling her not to go but she didn’t answer. She went to the place where we were going to meet up and was shot. She died all alone and I couldn’t do anything about it.”

“Alex.” Kelley breathes out sadly.

“I got the call and just shut off. I couldn’t let myself feel the emotions so I just shut everything off, including my feelings for her. They just disappeared.” I feel a tear escape my eye and want to laugh at the sudden weakness.

Kelley wipes it away and kisses the spot.

“I would love to come up with something to say that would make you feel better but I don’t think I can.” She looks at me disappointed in herself.

“It’s okay I’m not looking for condolence but there is stuff about my past I’m obviously not proud of and I just want you to like me.” It’s not completely a lie when I say this. I am only telling her because I know the importance of having to make sure she becomes mine.

“Thank you for telling me.” She looks at me with an understanding in her eyes, “Do you think you will ever love again?” I think of Tobin’s eyes and push it out of my head.

“I hope so.” I smile into our kiss.

We lay in bed for a couple of hours, falling in and out of sleep before she sneaks out of bed to go meet Frank or as she says “her dad.” I decide to get into the shower wanting to wash of the day I’ve already had off.

As the water hits me the images flash through my mind. After shooting him I had to drag his body into the car which had all the money I stole from the safe. I had to make sure nothing was left of this house so I put gasoline everywhere. I lit it up and didn’t bother to watch as it went up in flames.

I drove until I got to my car which was near some woods. That’s where I left his car so they could find it. I had to make it like he ran. His cell phone with his tracker is now placed exactly where I want it. I placed surveillance cameras in the tree knowing someone will come looking for him. There is also microphones in and on the outside of his car.

I drive a couple miles into a secluded area to bring his body there. Digging a hole and placing him inside of it, I light a match and he goes up in flames.  The smell of burning flesh is singed into my senses.

I find a gym that has locker rooms and quickly change out of my clothes and into new ones that I had earlier placed here. Luckily it’s a 24 hour gym and I quickly change and shower so the smell was off of me.

Now I am here, showering again still trying to scrub the images of today off of me.

I get out and decide to relax for a little. I feel the exhaustion seeping in again and I slowly fall asleep.

*

“Alex wake up.” I hear her voice, “It’s lunch time wake up.”

I open one eye seeing Kelley standing over me. Her eyes look darkened and her posture is tight. She must’ve seen Frank’s house and is in a panic.

“What?” I ask sleepily pretending not to notice.

“Lunch is ready if you’re hungry.” She sits on my bed. “You feeling okay? You’ve been sleeping for awhile.”

“Well last night I didn’t get much sleep.”

“Why?”

“You were mad at me, it made me sad.”

“You’re cute.” She leans down and kisses me, “I’m not mad now so let’s eat.”

We eat a simple salad with salmon and Kelley spends most of it in her head. It’s not until were in the basement where I can finally try to get her to open up.

I sit close to her so my legs are over hers and I’m facing her. She easily puts her hands on my legs and I kiss her cheek.

“Tell me what’s going on in that head.” I want her to feel comfortable and open up, “Talk to me. Did I freak you out this morning?” I know that isn’t it but I play along anyways.

“Alex if I tell you something can you just keep it between us?”

“Of course.”

“Lets go to my bedroom.” She stands up leaving the basement and we walk up to her bedroom. She shuts the door and waits for me to sit down.

I can tell she is nervous by the way she bites her lip and picks at her fingers.

“What is going on Kell?”

“Okay so I sponsor this local club in Cali and New York that is for youths who are amazing soccer players but can’t afford the expenses. I just wanted to help them be able to continue to grow so I am financially trying to help them. In the fall this man somehow convinced me to start ordering my equipment through him. He is in the black market so he gets me cheap stuff.  Well I was supposed to get a big order from in while I was in New York because it’s cheaper here than there. Well I just went to his house and there were cops and fire trucks surrounding it.”

I sit there for a couple seconds pretending to be in shock or confused.

“Can you say something?” She fidgets nervously.

“I don’t really know what to say Kell.” I sigh out trying, “I mean it obviously is never a good thing to do something illegal, which by the way, that is illegal. Why not just ask your dad for money?”

“Because he doesn’t care about the club, only way he would donate money is to make his company look good.” She lies on her bed, “I just wanted to help these kids, I see such a potential in them.”

“Did you pay this guy already?”

“No.” She looks at me with panic in her eyes, “His house was on fire Alex, what do you think happened? I was so scared when I pulled up and saw all the cars and trucks.”

“Honestly Kell I guarantee that he was just covering his tracks, maybe he didn’t have all of your stuff.” I shrug trying to make it seem like it isn’t a big deal so she doesn’t worry too much. “I’m sure he was dealing for other people too. Maybe he didn’t have the stuff they needed so he fled. Try not to worry okay?”

“How can I not worry when I have nothing to give the kids for Christmas?” She groans, “They’re going to be so disappointed. I mean tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I have nothing.”

“Everything will be okay I promise.” I reassure Kelley, “In the meantime I know something that will distract you.”

“Oh yeah?” Kelley looks up, her eyes turning dark, “And what would that be?”

“Mario Kart tournament downstairs.” I push off the bed running out of her room. I can hear her yelling at me as I bound down the stairs.

*

I had to slip Kelley a sleeping pill but she is finally fast asleep so I can sneak out. I drive a mile away from where Frank’s car is parked for safety measures. I walk through the woods following my GPS. Hope installed some software that will detect if anyone is in the vicinity.

I get to the tree where the camera is and I notice that the car is gone.  I hook up my computer to the camera and download the footage.

I call Hope as soon as it’s finished.

“Hope I sent-”

“The man in the sunglasses is MarioVatelle.” Hope cuts me off already running the faces in her database. “The other man is Jason Corrill.”

“What do we know about them?”

“Well they are both prominent in the drug cartel industry.” I hear hope typing into her keyboard and wait patiently for more information, “They are working for a company called Lanthorp. It is a company that’s just like U-Haul, renting trucks, storage units, and so on. They have only been in business for a couple of years.”

“What else can you tell me?”

“Well the founder of it is Aiden VanAtten.”

“Frank mentioned a man that he worked for named Aiden, he must be it. Aiden is working for the leader of this operation. They must be transporting heroin that way.”’

“Alex there is something else…”Hope pauses for a second, “Kelley’s fathers company is a shareholder.”

“That would explain why they wanted Kelley to join their operation and sell for them on campus.”

“You think her father knows?”

“Maybe not about wanting Kelley but about the smuggling yes.”

“We need to get access into his company…think that you could do that?”

“Easily.”

“Alright perfect the GPS you placed in the car has it parked at a location. The satellite image shows it to be in another gated neighborhood. That may be where they are staying, I am sending you the address right now.”

“Alright thanks Hope, I’ll listen to the audio on the car and see what they say.”

“Sounds good, let me know what you find.” She yawns, “I’m heading back to bed.”

“Oh Hope wait I need another favor.”

“Yeah?”

“I need you to transfer some money into my account from my savings.”

“How much?”

“Fifty thousand.”

“Seriously for what?” She asks confused.

“A Christmas present for Kelley.”

“Well that’s one way to go about it.” She scoffs, “Anything else?”

“Yeah in your dresser drawer you’ll find instructions and a GPS.” I hear her opening up her dresser drawer and I can’t help but smile.

“What is this?” She asks taken back. It’s probably more of a shock because she didn’t know it was there more than anything.

“Your Christmas present.” I smile before hanging up. I own a cabin in the middle of the woods that no one has ever known about. I left instructions for Hope to leave all electronics behind, to take a taxi to a car that is parked in a parking garage. I have a phone for her in the car for us to keep in contact with. She deserves a break from work and to keep this place hidden from anyone I need her to follow the instructions to the tee. If she follows the instructions correctly she will be enjoying Christmas Eve and Christmas in a beautiful cabin by a gorgeous secluded lake.

I walk back to my car before listening to the audio that was recorded inside of the car.

I fast forward in the recording until I see the two men pulling up to the car.

“That bastard is going to get a bullet to the head if we ever find him.” One of the men grunts out.

“Here is his phone.” He sighs, “Frankie is smarter than we anticipated.”

“Boss isn’t going to be happy about this.” I can hear the anxiety start to well up, “That was a lot of money that he took.”

“You don’t think I know that?”

“Well what are we gonna do?”

“They tracked the number to a small city in New Mexico. A team is already being sent out there.”

“What about the girl?”

“We will take care of her when we get to California.” He looks around suspiciously, “If he thinks he can get away with this then he is going to deal with the consequences.”

“Come on let’s get this car back to the lot.”

*

I follow the coordinates on the GPS in the car and find it at a gated community again. I decided to go around the perimeter and hop the fence. I figured I would save the guard the trouble.

I surveillance the estate Frank’s car is parked at and see a couple cameras. I see that there are four people inside the house, all in different rooms sleeping I assume.

Now I have a couple of options here, I can either go in full force or I can be patient and figure out how to set up my own surveillance.

I use my better judgment and decide I will sneak in going undetected. I figure they have a pretty good alarm system so as soon as I break in to the backdoor. I attach some gadget I got from the tech department that almost freezes the alarm system.

I slink through the house quietly, setting bugs everywhere that no one will find. I know I only have about ten minutes before the device stops working.

I place cameras in all the main living areas and several microphones on each floor. It’s a quick in and out trip and I’m back home within an hour.

I slide in through the side door by the kitchen at Kelley’s. I figured everyone would be asleep by now so I didn’t have to shimmy up the house to break into a window.

Plus the food is in the kitchen and I can’t help but starve.

“And wher-?”  I have him pinned to the ground, clenching his throat before he breathes another syllable.

I feel his neck clench tighter and the adrenaline pumping through my finger tips as I squeeze harder.  I let go before any bruising starts to form on his throat. I get goosebumps at the satisfaction of his gasping breath.

“What the hell…” He takes another couple of deep breaths, “Is wrong with you?”

“Oh I’m so sorry Mr. O’Hara, you startled me.” I feign scared.

“I…asked you a question.” He continues to try to even his breath.

“I don’t really sleep at night so I figured I would go for a stroll.”

“In the dead of winter?” He begins to regain his composure.

“The better question is why are you here.” I go to the cupboard to get something to eat.

“I wanted to be here with Kelley for Christmas.”

“That’s rich.” I reply dryly deciding on some cocoa puffs.

“You know I may have not been much of a father but I work hard to support my child and her dreams.” He retorts defensively.

“What a caring father you are.” I sneer thinking about how he may be involved with a huge drug operation. “And tell me Daniel what is Kelley’s dream?”

“How I parent my child is none of your business.”

“Do you know what Kelley has been doing?” I reach for the milk in the fridge. They keep it in a silver pitcher which I think is honestly useless. “You’re so worried about Kelley right? I mean that’s why you hired me wasn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“Well sir she is trying to buy illegal soccer equipment for two club soccer teams.” I catch something in his eyes that has my mind reeling. “But you knew that didn’t you.”

“It’s news to me.” I’m in his face so fast he flinches in fear as I twist his wrist back.

“Do not lie to me.” I spit out. “You know exactly why you hired me because you worry that your little side operation would put her in danger.” It starts piecing together in my mind, like finding the right piece of a puzzle that helps place everything in its rightful place.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I twist his arm further and he cries out silently in pain.

“Sprained, let’s not go for broken.” I growl lowly into his ear, “You are a shareholder of a company called Lanthorp. A company that is illegal smuggling and dealing heroin.”

“And what makes you think that’s true.”

“Don’t forget who you are speaking with Daniel. I have caught more criminals in the last few years then you could ever imagine so cut the bullshit. If you want to keep your daughter alive then you will tell me everything you know about Lanthorp and the men behind it.”

“In your dreams.” I break his wrist and cover his mouth to muffle the sound of pain that escapes.

“Broken.” I push him away from me as I walk to the island to pour the milk in my bowl.

“You bitch.” He spits out, “Get the fuck out of my house, you’re done.”

“Sure thing.” I sit down eating my cereal.

“Did you hear me.” He raises his voice, “Get the fuck out.”

“As soon as I finish my cocoa puffs, I’ll be outta your hair.” I take another bite, “By the way give Mario and Jason my best.” I see the anger in his eyes slowly disappear and get replaced with curiosity.

“You don’t know anything.”

“Well Kelley has been working with Frank in the black market which you already know. Now you probably thought Frank is just some low scum that would keep your daughter safe right? I mean they told you they would hire him to keep her out of trouble am I right? Let her think she is being all badass behind your back but really it was just to occupy her.” He tilts his head slightly which tells me to continue, “So you let it happen because somehow you got wrapped up in this fucked up mess, but you care enough to try to protect her. Lately though you realized that this operation isn’t the best idea so you showed interest in backing out. Well you didn’t realize at the time that you began to mess with people who don’t take no for an answer. I’m guessing they made some passive aggressive threats toward Kelley so you decided to ask around and somehow you found out about my agency. Now of course you couldn’t go to my agency telling them you were part of a heroin operation so you made up some bullshit about her being wild and needing a ‘sitter’ but also that you wanted someone skilled enough to also protect her from very bad people, like Aiden VanAtten for example. How am I doing Daniel?”

“I didn’t know it would get this out of hand.” He sits down and breathes out. “It wasn’t always like this.” He rubs his eyes. I can see the stress of the past couple of months building in his shoulders.

“Well your first mistake was going into business with criminals.” My mind continues to spin and I decide to take this in a different approach.

“We all make choices in life.” I don’t bother asking him why he chose this path because frankly it doesn’t matter anymore.“I just never thought I would be putting Kelley at danger.”

“You know Frank was going to force her into joining their heroin operation. I’m guessing it’s their way of trying to keep you in order. Then it would be easy to frame her or destroy her life one way or another, you’d have to obey whatever they wanted.”

“How do you know that?” His eyes go wide with fear of the thought of Kelley’s life slowly unraveling.

“I finally made a visit to see Frank at his house the other day and I found text messages saying that he needs to do whatever it takes to get her. I interrogated him until he told me all the information I needed and then I made it seem like he was making a run for it to cover my tracks, and then I killed him.”

“Thank you.” It’s not the first thing that I thought I would here but I accept his acknowledgement of protecting his daughter.

“Times up.” I take the last bite of my cereal and stand up from the seat, “I’ll get out of your hair now.”

“Wait.” I hear the desperation in his voice, “I’ll tell you anything you want to know as long as you keep Kelley safe.”

“I can do that.” I nod in agreement. I couldn’t leave at this point anyways, I would never let anything happen to Kelley. “But I have conditions.”

“Anything.”

“I need every single detail that you have of the men you work for, including the leader of the operation. I know Aiden is the person in charge but I want to know the real leader.”

“I don’t know who it is, I have only have dealt with Aiden.”

“When do you meet next?”

“Late January.”

“I need all the details for that as well as information on Aiden, photos, addresses, and phone numbers.”

“Okay I can do that.”

“This next condition is extremely important.” He nods looking at me firmly, “We need to work on your lying.”  I spend the next couple of hours going over with him his tells when he lies and how to change it so people can’t tell if he is lying. I told him what he needs to say and do in order to keep them off of his back while I work on closing this down. “Alright I think you will be okay as long as you remember everything I’ve told you. The most important thing is to not blow this or show signs that you’re going against them and under no circumstance do you tell the agency what is going on. You will give them updated reports on what I solved and so forth but that’s it.”

“Okay I can do it.” He looks at me with a steely look. “Thank you Alexandra.”

“It’s Alex.”

“Thank you Alex.”

“It’s my job.” I stand up from the island. “I’m going to bed.”

“Goodnight.” He says it so nonchalantly.

“You broke it playing racquetball.”

“Excuse me?” I look at him with a smirk on my face.

“You broke your wrist playing racquetball.”

“Ah right.” He nods in understanding.

I walk upstairs into Kelley’s room where I know she is heavily passed out. I dial the phone number for my spare phone I left in the car for Hope.

“Hello?”

“Did you get the recording I sent you?”

“Yes so are we really doing this?” Hope asks questioningly.

“Yeah we’re going to take them down.”

“And-“She goes to speak and as I know the next words that come out of her mouth I can’t help but smile.

“And we’re going to take down Kelley’s dad.” 


End file.
